Why would I make such claims you might ask? Maybe this is best explained in bullet points.
First, though, let me say that it's okay to laugh. Yeah, I'm mad but I'm also laughing.
- Today in our office it is 10 degrees below zero. Which is 10 degrees colder than usual. My sweater means nothing today.
- Storms are rolling in and out like crazy.
- I am on a diet. But sometimes, I just need some junk food. Today happened to be one of those days. It was dark out, but it was not raining. I jetted across the street to McDonalds. If I'm gonna splurge, I'm going big. So, gimme a number 2 (QPC meal) and oh yeah, let me have a Key Lime pie too. Yeah, it's piggish but I've had practically nothing but Weight Watchers food for three weeks now. Money handed over and back to the office I go. But guess what, now it's raining and raining hard. I pick up the pace a bit. All of a sudden, my bag seems a little lighter. Why? WHY? WTF?!?!? The bottom fell out of the bag placing my french fries, QPC, ATM card, telephone and Key Lime pie on the ground in a puddle. My exact reaction?
- MOTHERFUCKER!! The bums standing around loved that one.
- Bums were kind enough to pick it up and silly enough to ask me if I was gonna eat that. Are you kidding me?!?! People piss on these streets and this little bit of rain isn't enough to clean it up. I don't care if it's still in the box, it's in a PUDDLE!
- $7 down the drain. Literally.
- Now I'm back in the office – cold, wet, and without my junk food, eating what? You guessed it, another Weight Watchers meal.
Life's a bitch and then the universe grabs the bottom of your Mickey D's bag.