• Ramblings

    Yoga Awakening?

    I know, I know. It’s been forever since I last posted. Now that the shaming is out of the way, let’s continue.

    This morning, like many mornings, I received an email that told me that I should write 750 words today. But this morning, unlike many mornings, I said to that email, “I WILL write 750 words today…I just need a topic.”  When you ask, the universe provides.

    Off I went to the gym for yoga. I stopped to take a picture of yet another of Colorado’s absolutely gorgeous sunrises and made my way.  I’ve been going to yoga on Monday and Friday mornings for about a month now and last week I started throwing in Wednesday mornings as well. While the class is titled ‘Sunrise Yoga’, my inexperienced mind (and Google) say that this falls under Iynegar yoga. I’ve been seeing the same couple of people in the class with a mixture of new folks now and again, and the same instructor.

    Sidebar: The first time I went to this class, I really thought I was not going to enjoy it as there were some real sourpusses. I’m glad I hung in there.

    This particular morning, I chose to really try to focus on my breathing to ignore any discomfort that was coming from holding poses for quite some time. And this morning, for the first time, I felt extremely light-headed (and I wasn’t returning from an inversion), and immediately after the light-headedness passed, I felt as though I was going to break down into tears. Not one drop hits the mat and I continue, but I’m about to go into full wailing and shaking, breakdown crying.  This.  This was very new to me. After a few minutes, the feeling passed and I continued on with my practice.

    At the end of class, after Shavasana, I was taking my time in returning to present and the instructor came over to complement me on my work for the morning. I thanked her and saw this as my opening to have a brief discussion about what had happened in class.  I was (literally) able to corner her in the room where all the mats are to pose my question of what in the world happened to me today?!?!

    I started out with, “I have a question for you” to which she immediately responded, “Are you getting light-headed?”  At first, I was shocked that this would’ve been first out of her mouth, but upon further reflection, she *is* an instructor and probably hears things like this often. She talked to me about how sometimes this happens when we’re really using our breath and she said that I am probably like her in that I have the tendency to keep my abdomen tight and engaged which causes ‘reverse breathing‘ and therefore the light-headedness. In regards to the overwhelming emotion out of nowhere, she had a little less to say. She suggested that I meditate and see where I am right now and just to try to work through it. I think that I wanted a little more, but I also can see that portions of this are a personal journey.  At some point today, I hope to find the time to take her advice.

    Today’s weather is certainly not a reflection of my day so far.  If anything, it is probably the exact opposite. On my way to yoga, the sun was rising and it was clear. After yoga, a heavy fog had settled in to the point that it was difficult to see more than 10 feet in front of me while driving. However, the thought occurred to me as I type, that maybe this weather is correct. Perhaps this fog that prohibits me from looking around is the exact metaphor for what I need to do, being focus on what is in front of me and give it my full attention as not to miss what is under my nose. These are things upon which to ponder.

    Tonight, I close a chapter in my life.  I started pole dancing nearly five years ago and tonight, I walk away from my last class in my home studio. It was a difficult but necessary decision for me. The time has come for me to branch out in different directions in arts that are a little closer to my circus love. As I try to do nothing halfway, I trade my pole for cash, and my cash for an apparatus that will assist me in my next journeys. I am sure my path will be filled with obstacles, I only hope that they are not insurmountable. Stay tuned, ladies and gentlemen. Life begins today.

  • Ramblings

    Two Day Recap

    It must be nice to be a meteorologist. They’re constantly wrong and yet they never seem to get called on it. Of course I understand that weather isn’t an exact science. That doesn’t change the fact that, when I go to bed expecting to wake up to a dusting of snow and I get up and there are a couple inches and it’s still coming down, I’m not a happy camper. Should be a fun drive in to work.

    As suspected, the first day was all orientation.  Wow.  Long day. Parts of it were cool, like learning about the history of the city, but going over benefits and such, ugh. I had read all of that stuff a zillion times before I ever even got in the building. We did, however, have some good laughs at our table and the guys at the table were all pretty cool. I met a guy that has five Emmy’s. Oh yeah, and the coffee dude hit on me. I asked if they took credit cards. He said nope, only cash. Or jewelry. Or phone numbers. Ha! Nice try. Meh, I still got it. 🙂

    Yesterday was a bit more eventful. I got sworn in (yep, seriously, with a judge and everything). I got my magic badge (with a picture that doesn’t suck!) to open up many doors in several buildings. Met a bunch of people, now I just have to attempt to remember their names. Got settled in my new space although I really need to personalize it. Started looking into a new program to use for work. Learned that I might be using a lot of SQL. Found a possible perk that I wasn’t expecting (but that’s for several months down the road yet). All in all, great day. AND I made it home in record time yesterday…or record out of the two days I’ve gone to town.

    So far, no complaints. People are nice. Everyone is helpful. The commute doesn’t totally suck (thanks BV-Pittsburgh for numbing the pain well in advance). Haven’t been bored yet, probably won’t ever be. Scheduling is still flexible. Casual Friday, WHAT?!?! Yep, life is good.

    A posting isn’t complete if I don’t mention something about pole. The Sweet Emotion choreography went surprisingly well. I think that I may be getting better at choreography on the fly, so maybe I’ll figure out how to freestyle soon. Weeeeee!

    Off to brave the snow! Have a fantastic Thursday!

  • Uncategorized

    Today, the universe hates me

    Why would I make such claims you might ask?  Maybe this is best explained in bullet points.

    First, though, let me say that it's okay to laugh.  Yeah, I'm mad but I'm also laughing.

    • Today in our office it is 10 degrees below zero.  Which is 10 degrees colder than usual.  My sweater means nothing today.
    • Storms are rolling in and out like crazy.
    • I am on a diet.  But sometimes, I just need some junk food.  Today happened to be one of those days.  It was dark out, but it was not raining.  I jetted across the street to McDonalds.  If I'm gonna splurge, I'm going big.  So, gimme a number 2 (QPC meal) and oh yeah, let me have a Key Lime pie too.  Yeah, it's piggish but I've had practically nothing but Weight Watchers food for three weeks now.  Money handed over and back to the office I go.  But guess what, now it's raining and raining hard.  I pick up the pace a bit.  All of a sudden, my bag seems a little lighter.  Why?  WHY?  WTF?!?!?  The bottom fell out of the bag placing my french fries, QPC, ATM card, telephone and Key Lime pie on the ground in a puddle.  My exact reaction?
    • MOTHERFUCKER!!  The bums standing around loved that one.
    • Bums were kind enough to pick it up and silly enough to ask me if I was gonna eat that.  Are you kidding me?!?!  People piss on these streets and this little bit of rain isn't enough to clean it up. I don't care if it's still in the box, it's in a PUDDLE!
    • $7 down the drain.  Literally.
    • Now I'm back in the office – cold, wet, and without my junk food, eating what?  You guessed it, another Weight Watchers meal.

    Life's a bitch and then the universe grabs the bottom of your Mickey D's bag.

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