Doing Stuff To My Body

It’s 10:45AM and I’m HUNGRAY!

I’m sure that many moons ago, when I was a member of the “Make Your Hair As Big As Possible” Club, I knew that this video was a little dark and/or sad. Of course, all these years later, I didn’t remember this until I looked up the video to use for this post. Well, if you are wanting to make a connection, then simply replace the lost spouse with food. Callous, I know, but again, I wasn’t thinking about all this angst in the video when I wanted to use it.

Now, on with the story!

Either on Friday of last week or over the weekend, Lovey (aka the hubby in case you were unaware) mentioned reading something about intermittent fasting, or IF as the cool kids say. I’ve never been one for all the many diets out there. I just work out and try to eat mostly healthy and splurge whenever. I’ve also put on a few pounds over the last year and a half that I’ve been struggling to shed.

Sidebar: TMI warning. Skip to the next paragraph if you don’t wanna read about my insides. You were warned. Back in 2017, I tried to get into a study for doing something to reduce these gawd awful fibroids. I didn’t get in, but they did have the courtesy to tell me that, at that time, my uterus was the size of a 10 week pregnant woman. Coming up on three years later, I can’t imagine that those suckers shrunk any, so I’m guessing that my empty uterus is at least 3 months pregnant now with fibroid babies. Could have something to do with the weight gain, but maybe not. And yes, I’m gonna go to the GYN eventually.

Exercise happens, yoga happens, pole happens, and chubby continues to happen. So without actually acknowledging that I’m willing to try this whole IF idea, I figure I’ll do it.

You’ve probably heard of IF, or if you haven’t, you can work it out since those are two pretty easy words. Hubby said (and I didn’t check it myself) that 14 hours was optimal for women and 16 for men. Ok, sure.

Before giving this a shot, my morning routine looks about like this:

5am alarm, shit around (most of the time literally) reading emails, Facebook, IG, LI, and checking my roster for the day for whatever fantasy sport season it is until about 5:20, walk over to the gym, put in work for 30-45 minutes depending on that day’s routine, pet a dog, stretch, do handstands, pretend I’m good at my Leviwand, walk back home by 7:10 at the latest, make breakfast, eat, shower, boot up the laptop and get ready for the work day.

Without warning, I goofed off longer at the gym portion of my morning and didn’t get back to the house until about 7:30 and Lovey says I’m running late. I say nope, if I’m not eating, I have more time. To which he replies, OH! So you’re gonna do that. LOL. Obviously I’m a stellar communicator.

Almost every night, the last thing I have is right about 9pm – a protein shake and an iron pill because girl I’m hungray(!) and I’m old with the most deficient iron deficiency ever. I’m not always hungry when I eat breakfast, it’s just the scheduled time. (Yeah, I’m one of those forget to eat people if I don’t eat on a schedule. )

I’m already at ten hours at this point so I figure that I can survive for another four before I eat. I figure this is a great time to go in on the tea cabinet and the ~10 boxes of teabags I’ve got in there. A little turmeric ginger tea (no sugar) plus a bunch of water should get me through. And I’m mostly right. I make it all the way until 10:45 before I get actually hungry and at that point, I know I’ll survive for 15 more minutes.

I think part of the line of thinking is that with less time to eat that you will consume less calories, but they obviously don’t know me. Still had breakfast, lunch, and dinner although I did forgo my evening shake, but that’s typical for Monday since I eat late after class.

Much to Lovey’s chagrin, I weigh myself about 5 times a week. Weekends are scale-free because I don’t need that sort of stress in my life. But imagine my surprise when I saw more movement in the numbers on the scale in that one day than I’ve seen in the last several weeks. Of course, it could be a fluke, and I’ll find out tomorrow when I step back on, but it could be some IF magic, who knows. I’m going to keep trying it for the rest of this week to see if changes continue to happen. Of course, I’ll let you know because I know how much you want to know every detail of my mundane life.

The only downside to yesterday’s new structure was that around 3pm I wanted to go to sleep oh so badly. I pressed on because, you know, work, but I’m hoping that was a one day thing.

Well, I’m in the middle of today’s feeding frenzy and it’s taco night and I gotta go get some refried beans. Stop back tomorrow if you’d like to see how it’s going. And hey, let me know if you’ve gone down this IF road and how it worked for you!

Welcome To November. We’ve Got Fun And Games.

I simply couldn’t help myself, ok? Plus, it IS the first of November and (hopefully..crossing fingers, toes, legs, eyes) we are going to get some rain today. I get it that a lot of folks are dealing with the cold and rain and in some places snow right now. I’ve been there and I’ve done that for more than half of my life. But I’m in a different world now (called Florida, where we just got a new resident that makes me want to barf up a lung) and it was SEVENTY-FIVE FUCKING DEGREES at 6:30 this morning. And that’s not even counting how much worse it felt considering the humidity. So, yeah, come on through rain, because it usually means it’s gonna cool down a little bit at this time of year. It just shouldn’t be this warm at this time of day at this time of year. Anywhoooo….

It’s officially NaNoWriMo time. I’ve read about a lot of different approaches to getting it done like write every day for a set period of time/number of words/number of pages. I feel like weekends are gonna be my time to push out all the words. Although it might truly feel less daunting if I did the number of words per day kind of thing. 1667 words per day would do the trick. It’s only the first so I may still try to take that route, but maybe I’ll just try to make sure that I’ve hit a certain word count by the end of each week. Better yet, I may do 10 day increments. I like structure but not so much pressure.

If it’s been a while since your high school or college days of writing papers, you might not even realize how tough it can be to put down a thousand words. I mean, in this post, I’m barely grazing 300 words at this point. Granted, it’s just my stream of consciousness ramblings, and I think (hope) it’ll come easier when I’m a little more focused on a topic, but still, recognize the effort. Really. Open up Word and try to put down 750 words. Less than half of my daily goal. You’ll see. It isn’t as easy as you might think. And it certainly doesn’t take anywhere near as long to read it as it does to write it.

Speaking of reading, I know I’ve mentioned it before, but for my reader friends who haven’t ponied up for Kindle Unlimited (which I haven’t and I’m not gonna because first they don’t usually have things I’m interested in and second what I’m gonna say after this), I suggest you go to BookBub.com. Every day, I get an email with about 10 books to choose from. Some are free, most are inexpensive. I don’t recall seeing one for more than five bucks. They’re all e-books, in case you didn’t realize that part. You can even choose the genres you want to get to choose from in your daily email. This email alone is the reason I have over 500 books on my Kindle. And I’m coming for them in March when we go on vacation. I foresee a week of ocean breezes, mimosas, and my nose in a book. When I’m not being social, of course, since this particular vacation will have in attendance (in addition to hubby) my mom, hubby’s BFF and his lady friend, their combined three kiddos, BFF’s sister and her gentleman friend, and I think a couple that I don’t know well if at all. I can’t wait because it’s been about eight years since we’ve been on a real vacation since I do not count going to the mountains for a long weekend.

I really have to get moving here, but I want to leave you with one funny. My gym buddies here in the complex are 4 older gentlemen. They do the treadmill or the bike while I lift. I haven’t been over there in a while because there’s no pull-up bar there and I need it for my current workout. Anyway, I went in today and as I was arriving, one buddy was leaving. Today, he had his wife with him. She looked ALL kinds of irate that he knew me/spoke to me. Like, didn’t even hide the disdain in her voice when I could clearly hear her as they were walking out the door. I just chuckle to myself. Why? Um, look, lady. Your husband is a nice guy and all, but I have my own man and don’t want yours. You know, since mine is still in shape and isn’t old enough to be my dad. Carry on! It’s the freakin weekend baby, go have some fun!

You Ghoul!

Happy Halloween! I’m not a big celebrator of this day, but run with your day those who are. There’s only one couples costume that I want to do, but the both of us don’t want to shave what would be necessary to make it work. We would be a great Picard and Guinan but I don’t wanna shave my eyebrows and he doesn’t wanna shave his beard so that’s that and we are not dressing as them. But we would be awesome.

The perfect Halloween costume

What I WILL do today is play my Halloween playlist on Spotify. You can click through to it but if you don’t want to, here’s what’s on it:

  • This Is Halloween – The Nightmare Before Christmas
  • This Is Halloween – Marilyn Manson
  • A Nightmare On My Street – DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince
  • Dream Warriors – Dokken
  • Ghosts – Michael Jackson
  • Monster Mash – Bobby “Boris” Pickett
  • Zombie – The Cranberries
  • (Don’t Fear) The REaper – Blue Oyster Cult
  • Monster – Michael Jackson
  • People Are Strange – The Doors
  • Somebody’s Watching Me – Rockwell
  • Werewolves of London – Warren Zevon

Do you have song(s) that I should add? The playlist always has more space.

Can you believe that tomorrow is November already?!?! This year really flew by. I feel like once we hit November, the year is pretty much over. It all just mashes together from Thanksgiving to my birthday to Christmas and New Years Eve. None of those things really get a big celebration from me. Especially the putting up of the tree come Christmas. I just…ugh. But you know what? I have a job and I might splurge and buy myself some Christmas spirit, aka BUBBLE LIGHTS! These were a staple of the tree when I was a kid. What are bubble lights? Whaaaaaaa? These beauties:

Bubble lights!

Then, if I wanted to go full on with annoying my hubby, I would find the other thing that our Christmas tree always contained: the chirping bird.

Chirping Bird Ornament

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! They have this mofo at Target. I can get it AND get 5% off with free delivery. Did I just catch the Christmas spirit? Perhaps, lol. Yes, that’s how I am about things. It’s either balls to the wall or fuck it all. Probably why a lot of things don’t get started or finished, but hey, nobody’s perfect.

I have more thoughts but the rest of them have no cohesion so I won’t bore you with them. But if you’re just dying to know what’s rattling around in my head this morning, it looks like this:

Close to getting that split on both sides, should I do something for my birthday, should we do something for NYE, start writing the book tomorrow, 142 days till vacation, that should be enough time to lose 10 more pounds.

And with that, I’m outta here to do do work. Have a great day and don’t eat too much candy!

Feeling Good On A Wednesday

Lookie here. I started this post at like 9 this morning and here it is 4 in the afternoon and I’m just getting to it. And do you know why? Because WORK! And this time, that is not a complaint.

I’m on day 8 of this gig and the training wheels are pretty much off. They love that I pick up stuff quickly (Me saying that I did was probably one of the reasons that they made me an offer in the first place. Me getting in there and doing it is somehow still blowing them away.) and am willing to just jump in and try to work out what I don’t already know. But yeah, feeling good on a Wednesday, right Randy? Ya ya ya.

So, Friday is the first of the month and the beginning of another year of NaNoWriMo. I’ve been aware of this for probably at least ten years now. I think I’ve started it maybe three times and never done more than maybe 1,000 words. Not this year, baby! This is my year. As much as I hate, and have hated creating an outline for any writing project since all the way back of the days of Mrs. Cocciolone (Mrs. C, if you’re reading this by some odd chance, thank you for just being you and encouraging me to be me. Also, sorry for the swearing, lol.). This is why the grand majority of my writing is stream of consciousness and sometimes doesn’t make sense. I mean, have you been inside my head? Of course not, you’d probably walk away once you were out and never turn back. It’s a maze in there, folks. Also amazing, but a maze too. 50,000 words is the goal through the month of November. I’m going to try not to be all, edit, re-edit, that doesn’t sound right, oh fuck all this noise. I promised myself I would do this one. I have a title. I even have cover art ready to go in my head for which I would gladly commission an artist to put on paper. Do I think it’s gonna be all best seller? Like I’m gonna be the black, female Stephen King of funny? Nope. But it’s gonna be good.

Know what else? I’m exercising and I’m stretching and I’m dancing and I’m gonna perform in December. Song selected. Possible outfit selected. Although I have to actually get it and try it on and make sure that there will be no costume malfunctions. I mean, I won’t get banned like Janet, but still. And who can tell me this doesn’t match perfectly for a country-type song and that I won’t be the cutest mf-er around in this? *cue the Keith Sweat* NOBODY!

Country cute

Well, friends, I gotta scoot. If you see me all goofing around come mid-November, please feel free to ask me how the book is coming along or how my choreography is coming along. I need a kick in the pants as much as the next person. Til then, peace, love, and hair grease.

Where’d The Weekend Go?

Ok, first, just let me say that I wanted to use the Nina Simone version of the video, but it refused to be embedded, so I had to go with Mikey Bubbles. Now, where did the weekend go?

Luckily, the first week of my job wasn’t stressful at all and I honestly don’t really see it ever getting to that point. But it still felt really good to have Friday actually mean something (although not as good to have Sunday night mean something). I do believe we are about to establish a new Friday night routine of drinks and live music which makes me extremely happy. Music more than drinks, by the way. Just no more gator bites because OMG the grease and my stomach just were not getting along. That salted caramel pretzel brownie and I, however, are a different story. We started off strong, but it proved to be too rich for me in the end. *sigh* I guess just give me a veggie tray and let me live my best life.

Do you know how to ruin a perfectly good Saturday? I do. It’s called having to clean your house. Truly, between us, it only takes a little over an hour to clean all 1600 sq. ft. of it, but dang, man, it still sucks. And I just can’t see paying someone to come here and do it. I’m weird like that I suppose. Besides, those are the times to knock the dust off the sound system and hear it all around. You just never know what you’re gonna hear blasting out of our house. Could be DMX, could be mariachis, could be Queen or Metallica or Keith Sweat. You’d just never be able to work out who lives here just by listening to music outside our house. We’re diverse.

Lots of talk about how it was the coup de grace, the big one, woo hoo of sports yesterday with the four major (US) sports having games as well as Tiger golfing in Japan and soccer too. But you know what there wasn’t? Steeler football. And that made the whole day a little more boring for me. My fantasy football team is in the crapper yet again this week because I can’t seem to pick the right players to leave on the bench. Jacoby ain’t do shit but Gardner had himself a day…on my bench. At least two other players did the same and I’m gonna get blown out again this week. It is not my football year. Fortunately, I’m doing better in the basketball season – mainly because it just started so I haven’t had time to stink up the place just yet. Yeah, baseball, basketball, and football. I haven’t ventured into hockey, but that’s because I don’t know anyone doing a league (or if there is one). All that aside, tonight we ride as the house is divided, Miami vs Pittsburgh. They won the college battle, so we’d better win the pro battle. After dance tonight, it’s on!

Well, kids, it is Monday and duty calls. I wish you a great week ahead. Friday starts the new month and time to write a book. Ack! Again, I probably need an outline. Here we go!!