work

The Journey Does Not End

First off, I just love this song. Secondly, because I don’t really watch much TV any more and I didn’t know anyone still made videos, I had no idea that this existed. I also don’t watch movies so I don’t even know what, if any, movie this is from. Plus, it just went along with today’s theme.

And what is today’s theme, ladies and gentlemen? Why, fitness, of course. And I don’t mean fitness this whole slice of pizza in my mouth. I’ve been active ever since childhood. I come from that generation where in the summer, you got up early, ran around the neighborhood playing hard all day, probably stopped for a snack at some point but maybe not because there was just too much playing to do, and went home before the streetlights came on. Weight wasn’t something I ever thought about and that’s a good thing. Flexibility is also something I never thought about. That is not a good thing.

In early adulthood, I worked in a lot of jobs that kept me on my feet, be it working outside or working in a restaurant. That was in the days before Fitbit. I can only imagine how many Fitbits restaurant warriors are going through these days (or pre/post pandemic). Again, never thought about exercise. When I moved on from restaurants but stayed within hospitality, I did slip up for a little bit and put on some pounds, but I lost it all again and kept it off because we were hella active in our roles.

Once I left hospitality and ventured into, eww, corporate America, I stopped moving around as much. There were work lunches and snacks and all kinds of crap. I slipped again. It was the fact that I was going to meet up with some old hospitality buddies that had me look at myself and say, “Oh girl, we better do something with *points to my body* all of this.” And so I did. I saw an infomercial for a program that looked like fun. It said that it was full of dance. I didn’t have to get on the floor. It didn’t take super long per workout. I pulled the trigger and ordered it. That program was Hip Hop Abs. And that was thirteen years ago.

Fast forward a couple years and I’m still doing the corporate America thing. I haven’t fallen off the deep end by any means, but I’m getting married soon and of course I want to be on top of my game. I was willing to do what it took. And what that took was a 12 week program called P90X. I looked fan-fucking-TASTIC on my wedding day. It’s true!

Hawt

For a while I rotated between the programs I had. Then I joined a gym because it was SUPER cheap through my job for a REALLY nice gym. I stopped lifting weights and instead went to Zumba twice a week in the evenings and did yoga for 75 minutes three times a week. And pole, and trapeze, and hike in the summer and snowboard in the winter. Right, I was a little active.

I think it was about this time that I was introduced to Beachbody On Demand. I already knew that they had churned out a couple programs that I had already done. I saw that there were more programs by the people that I already had done their programs. That made it a pretty easy decision to go ahead and sign up. All of the signs were there: the per year cost was less than the gym even with the steep discount, no travel left a few more morning minutes, my favorite yoga instructor was leaving, I was already set up for a home gym that was collecting dust. It’s early 2017.

There is literally a plethora of programs that fit everyone and I’ve been running through them. I think I’ve gone through a total of 20 at this point, and they keep releasing programs. I’ll never be bored.

Over the time that I’ve been doing these programs, I’ve been on social media. Now and then I would post about doing one of the programs, and, inevitably, a Beachbody coach would reach out and ask me if I was interested in becoming a Beachbody coach too. Four years of no thank you to whomever asked, but I kept doing the programs.

Well, after all those asks, I finally said yes recently and now, I am a Beachbody coach. But what does that even mean? Truthfully, it means different things to different people. Some folks get in to have play money, some work at it to make it their full time job. I’ve heard people are making 6 figures at this. But that’s not it for me. I don’t care if I don’t make any money at all. I really don’t. I have a 9-5 that takes care of that. What I do want is to keep exercising and reaching my goals and I want to walk alongside you in your journey to do the same. I want to encourage you. I’ll kick you in the ass (virtually) if needed. You want me to nag you? I can. But none of it happens if you don’t take the first step and sign up.

Is it free? No, it isn’t. But it also isn’t over-the-top expensive. I bet that you go to Starbucks or McDonald’s or even WaWa twice a month. Yeah, so for the cost of that twice a month over the course of a year, you could be working out with me and a whole bunch of other people. You could be getting into the best shape you’ve been in for a while. You could be putting yourself into a position where, when you do go into Starbucks or McDonald’s, you won’t feel bad about it at all because it’s a treat from the work you’ve been putting in. And you’ll see results. You don’t need to be a slave to the scale. Your clothes will fit differently. You’ll have more energy. But you know, that’s just me talking after doing this for more than ten years.

Ok, last bit because I’ve gone and gotten long-winded. I just started as a coach and already, I have had an insanely cool opportunity. I got to chat with Shaun T, who created that first program I started with, Hip Hop Abs, and his hubby on their weekly Wine Night IG live. The fun levels are off the charts. So yeah, you could join me at the Virtual Fit Inn. Cuz the Fit Inn is where we get it in. And maybe one day you’ll be talking to a Beachbody trainer on IG live. Til then, lemme know if you’re ready to sweat. And here’s a chat screenshot.

Do It ALL!

Ohhhhhh, hai there! I know, I know. It’s been a minute. Sometimes life (or work) gets in the way of my scheduled blogging time. Dammit all to hell!

Anywho, let’s catch up. It’s been a busy few days. For whatever reason, work has been really busy recently. Either that or I’ve been unable to properly focus recently. I’d hate to say that it wasn’t proper focus when I’m three days into a regimen of gummies that are supposed to support brain health and function. (I also hate when I do something random and hurt myself and don’t know how but it coincides with taking these gummies. Do I really think that these gummies caused a pain in my calf? No. But it’s a coinkydink I don’t like.) So yes, let’s stick with work got busy there for a little bit.

Staying on the topic of work for a few minutes here. Like many to most of us, I’ve got this 9 to 5 job. I like it. I like the people I work with. My boss knows about my teaching after work and respects that. Just the other day, we were going long after 5pm and she interrupted to make sure that my time was respected and made sure that I didn’t have a class to get to. I mean, come on! How many bosses are out there doing that? Not a lot, I bet. So yeah, big ups to Sandy.

But am I ever content with just one job? No, I’m no lazy lima bean.

I’ve fallen into the side hustle world. This keeps happening to me so I’m gonna go ahead and assume that it’s just part of my grand scheme. I mean, teaching pole is SH #1 which isn’t really a side hustle. I mean, yes there is a monetary exchange, but the mental health benefits I get from being able to throw myself around the pole without being concerned that it’s going to come loose and crash through the front window of our rental, yeah, those outweigh everything.

I’m still (working on) learning WordPress. What does that mean? It means that I got started and was on a roll but then I went on vacation and then work got nuts and I fell all outta my schedule. Case in point, this is not my scheduled blogging time, but I did still want to get it done, so everything is wonky. I do feel that I’ve retained most of what I’ve gone over so far although it has been more review than new knowledge. I would truly be some sort of computer powerhouse if I could really knuckle down and go in-depth with what I know a little bit of. CSS, HTML, PHP, SQL. Hell, I’m already a web developer, I just don’t know it. Ha! But yeah, come on through, focus. I do enjoy doing this stuff too. I’m just weird.

Right, so I don’t just teach pole dancing (and handstands), I teach FabPole, which is the combination of aerial silks and pole. So, I like to put out videos (which I should do more regularly…see schedule issues) showing what FabPole is and whatnot. I’m also an ambassador for them. Speaking of being an ambassador, I’m also one for Namaste As Fuck. That one doesn’t require any work, I just wear their gear and post pics when I do. Discount codes are available! I’ve had a couple ambassadors from other companies reach out about doing this sort of thing for them too, but my plate is kinda full because….

After over ten years of doing the programs (and at least 5 but probably closer to 10 others asking me), I decided to hop on the Beachbody Coach train. A lot of people have a lot of different money goals with the company, but that’s not where my stream of income originates. I won’t be mad if some money comes through, but I won’t be the pusher that folks who are making the big bucks will be. And OMG speaking of Beachbody, this past Friday, no bigs. Just got to talk to Shaun T and his hubby Scott on IG live. I’m hoping someone will send me a screenshot because, you know, can’t really screenshot yourself like that.

Yep, so that’s all the things. When I write them out here, it doesn’t seem like so many. Even if I add flow arts it seems manageable. Until I try to put it all into play. Then there’s a fly in the ointment and he got mushed between some gears and he’s slowing everything down. Gross, right? I know! That’s where I’m trying to avoid…again. I can pull myself out, but I need to not get there in the first place. Ok, I’m gonna start that by finishing this, lol. See ya tomorrow.

Work, Work, Work

You tell ’em, Dolly. All that work to do and only 8 hours in a work day. What are we, superhumans?

But seriously, as a society, we place so much pressure on ourselves to do so much. And of course, as a member of society, I do this same shit to myself. Ok, so perhaps it isn’t ALL society on my part. There are just so many things that I see that I want to do (because I might have some sort of activity ADD if that’s a thing) that it’s difficult to sit still sometimes. And then when I do manage to sit still, I don’t feel good about it because there are 25 million other things I could be doing besides, oh, you know, resting my body. I’m a mess. I get it. I acknowledge it. Hell, sometimes I even embrace it.

In my race against myself to drive myself crazy with activities and knowledge, I made myself a daily schedule. It’s been on for about a week now and I’ve seen that I need to swap the activities in the first 2 hours of my day (the day that starts at 8, not the one that starts at 5:30 – I’m still trying to fix that one too). I think that swapping those two focus hours will help my day start off a little more smoothly. Today was an outlier day. I don’t think it would’ve followed a schedule no matter what. But that’s ok. I still got things accomplished that needed to happen and I’m still catching up on the things that I missed. Look at me go!

Under my list of today’s accomplishments include really setting a strong structure for teaching my FabPole classes. I love structure but I also hate structure so I built it in a way that says ‘hey, do this sort of thing next’ but I still have a ton of options for what the sort of thing is. The hardest part is having multiple levels of each of the sorts of things because not every student has the same range of strength or flexibility. However, that is one of the things I would call my “specialties” – being able to teach to multiple levels in the same class. Everybody gets some personal attention in my class…whether you like it/want it or not, lol. I gotta know that you’re understanding the words that are coming outta my mouth (!) and enjoying yourself at least a little bit.

Another accomplishment for the day is not getting sucked down the YouTube rabbit hole. Today, I found Dolly, got the link, and closed the damn window. Yay me! That certainly doesn’t mean I didn’t get sidetracked with other things though. I’m starting to reach out to see who’s trying to get in shape with me. I put together an intake form and everything! You want to get in shape? Go fill out this form.

It seems that for every accomplishment I add to my list or item I check off of my to-do list, 2 more pop up in its place. (See paragraph two about doing too damn much.) For instance, I need to revamp my schedule. Sure, it only takes a few minutes, but paragraph three made more tasks. Having a class structure is great, but I still have to review my options for “sorts of things”. That intake form, it still needs tweaking. Oh yeah, there’s a whole different website that I need to put info onto. Ohhh, yeah, and I’m also learning some WordPress development. Ummm, and maybe affiliate marketing. While I have a 9-5. And teach on Saturdays. And a functioning marriage. Right, I guess this is why I don’t have friends, lol. (I have a couple. Sheesh. Don’t get mad, Christina!)

Considering that I do still have just under a million things to do today, I’m gonna go ahead and wrap this up for today. I hope that you’re having a great hump day. We’re on the downward slide to the weekend, baby!

Friends and Family

Ask, and you shall receive, Maria. 🙂

First, this choreography! I need to go back to the 70s where I could keep up with the dancing. Step, together, step, tap, baby. I got that all. Day. LONG! My CM choreographers know this.

Second, if you aren’t thinking of the Pirates from the 70s when you hear this, well, I guess you just aren’t a Pirates fan, now are you?

Now, on to the meat of things: family.

Some folks might only have, one definition of family, that being those who fall under the category of people related by blood. Nope, nope, nope, nope nope. If you’re a Facebook user, you might be familiar with friends lists. In my world, they’re more like family lists. Let’s take a look at that, shall we? Not literally because you don’t need screenshots of my Facebook. 😛

Alrighty then, let’s start at the beginning. Steph and Jess had the most pimped out wedding ceremony you have never seen back on 8.1.70. They are my everything. Taught me all the good stuff about respect and being a good person. All the sirs and ma’ams to be had. But also pinochle, barbeque sauce, and banana pudding. And food takes us down the yard to Gram and Pops. Man. Totally my second mom and dad but with cookies and ice cream. Gram made the good good. Peach junk and mac and cheese. I can kinda replicate them because I spent so much time watching her make them, but any time I asked for a recipe, it was “a little bit of this and a little bit of that”. Pops got me my car knowledge as he “worked” in a garage and so I learned to change oil and tires which leads me to the first family that wasn’t blood. Let us not forget the little brother whom I clobbered with the ketchup bottle and the daughter who came much later down the road.

The VMH crew. Van Meter Heights, a name we entirely made up in our backwoods, rural one mile stretch of road. It was the kind of area where everyone knew everyone’s business, so there was no sneaking of anything! At least not for me, lol. I had mom and dads and brothers and sisters all up and down the road. They taught me friendship and fights and how to make up from them. These people were more than likely the beginnings of the unemployed comedian I am today.

My next sets of families came from work. The Don Pablo’s family, the Kanagroo’s family, the Houlihan’s family, and the Club Med family. Working in hospitality changes you! Everyone should have to do it at least once. These folks taught me about relationships and what they were and what they weren’t. They taught me what it was to have someone’s back and to know when someone had mine. I learned fantasy football with them, nearly got kicked out of baseball stadiums with them, went to back-to-back-to-back movies with them, did parking lot donuts in the snow with them, checked out WWF (back when it was still WWF) Raw with them, and took over Carlos ‘n Charlies with them on a weekly basis. Of course there were not so great times, but we got through them together and we’re all stronger for it. This isn’t to say that I have no family from non-hospitality jobs because I do. I’m looking at you Rebecca, Pedro, Justin, Holly, and Chris. OMG don’t be mad if I didn’t mention you. I can’t list every single person, Pramod. And Shiva.

A quick shout out to my pole and circus family! Y’all taught me to be my damn self and go ahead and be that self on stage. A couple sentences isn’t really enough, but I can’t be here all night!

And now, now I am growing a real estate family. It’s been fun! I am constantly out shaking hands and kissing babies. Mayor McCheese-ing like there’s no tomorrow. People who are teaching me how to get this job done; taking me under their collective wing and providing me with guidance and encouragement. I can already almost build a castle with business cards! (I’m not, but I COULD.)

Of course, I couldn’t end this without speaking of my not blood but close as you can be family. The hubster and his (now my) family. They’ve never been anything less than spectacular to me. Hubby puts up with more of my crapola than anyone in the world probably could without kicking me out. He has taught me, with no offense to one or two other people, what true love is, in giving and receiving.

So there you have it. Sometimes hard to follow but sometimes stream of consciousness is how I write. Don’t worry, you’ll get used to it as you get to know me. 😀 Come back tomorrow or the next day for some more confusion. It’ll be fun, I promise, fam!

How Many Lights Do You See?

Before I get to the lights, let me tell you a little story.

You see, it’s been quite some time since I have written anything and the thoughts and reasoning behind why I’m back will be after the story when I will try to tie this all together and probably end up with a ball of knots. Anywho, for reasons to be explained later, I’m back. Usually, when I fall off and then show back up, I change the look and feel of the blog. It gets me kinda excited about writing again, or at least about looking at this page. Off I go to WordPress.

I’m not really picky with what I want the site to look like since there’s all of maybe five of you reading it and I’m not quite concerned enough to go do some CSS work. Proceed to downloading! First theme I didn’t really care for since it didn’t want to embed videos and videos are often quite related to the point I’m trying to make. The second theme looked good. I installed it. My site died.

Now, not to the point where if you just went to the site, it gave you a pretty 404 or anything. The Internet taught me that I basically had the white screen of death. Broke-ded-ed. Shit. Ok, well, I’ll just go change the theme from my dashboard. Ohhhhhh, FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDDDDGE! But I didn’t say fudge. Because I’ve got the WSOD on my dashboard. I can’t access my site. Sad face.

Lucky me, y’all. I’m a bright star when I wanna be and I know how to use dem dere dubbyas. Also, lucky me that I remembered how to actually access my account where this madness is hosted. And I know basic stuff. And FTP-ing. Yeah. Fixed. And damn if I can remember the name of the theme that killed my site, but if I do, you better believe I’m gonna complain.

Moving right along….

It seems that, as of late, I’ve had some anger management issues. Ok, they’ve probably always been there, but I maybe have letting it slip out a little bit lately. Pretty sure that my attitude has been THERE ARE FOUR LIGHTS! complete with the ‘get off me’ arm shake. Because there were four lights. You were right, Captain. Four. Fucking. Lights. Unfortunately, the Enterprise isn’t coming to get me and being right isn’t getting me anywhere except straight to the land of frustration.

What’s changed? What’s changed? Still working for the man. Still working out. Still getting my ommmm on. Ohhhh, hey, remember back when you used to write all the time? When you published gems like this or led congregations like this? Remember when you were funny? Like, regular funny, not I’m laughing but man is that chick a bitch funny. Remember when you could turn your anger to funny? Remember when you could let go of shit? Let it literally flow through your fingers and into the webiverse? You gotta get back there. And that’s why I’m back again.

I probably won’t ever go into specifics about anything because it’s 2018 and this isn’t private, but I’m sure that I can get back to funny me. I can shake em off like Picard, but those Cardassians we’re shaking off, they’re all the frustrations of the Corporate Federation. BUT I’M STILL THE CAPTAIN OF THIS MOTHERFUCKING STARSHIP! On this ship, it’s still a motherfucking party. It’s like a mullet. Business when we’re on-screen, party when we’re off. Right, Number One?!?!

Aaaaanywho, it’s Monday and does anyone else get an obscene amount of junk email in their work inbox related to other jobs?!?! It’s total madness. Dear Spam Emailers, I don’t make decisions! Leave me alone. Ok, I do make decisions. I’m the Captain, after all. And I’m back.