Crap squared

The days since last Thursday have been trying ones indeed. 


While the day started off okay, it took a downhill turn.  I got home and a reminder went off on my cell phone that for some reason killed the display.  I called the phone folks and they had me try some things to fix it but it was a no go.  So they transferred me over to the insurance folks to get a replacement. 

I don't quite understand why I pay 5 dollars a month for each of our phones for insurance when, if something happens to the phones, I still have to pay $50 to get a new one.  Whatever.  I'll probably drop the insurance on all the phones and save fifteen bucks.  So they tell me that they're going to send out the phone and I should have it either Friday or Monday.  I can deal with that as it's only the display that's dead and the actual phone part still works.  My phone usage is pretty much limited to family anyways.

Good note: Filed my taxes and am getting a nice chunk of change.


My head is so clogged that I can't quite rememeber Friday.  I don't think that anything bad happened, but I'll amend this if it did.


In the morning, I had to go see a lady about a dog.   I thought that the dog was pretty cool but I wouldn't find out until later if I could have it.  No worries.

I came home to a message on the machine from the Art Institute.  Avoid this place at all costs.  You may recall in a previous post that I had to deal with these boneheads.  Well, here we are a couple months later and I get a call from a new person trying to once again get me to pay this money.  He promptly got a return phone call saying to kiss the crack of my black ass, go talk to the lady that I was dealing with before.  He doesn't like me and I don't care.  These people are the shadiest of the shady.  First lady, of course, is not in the office, so I've got to deal with her on Monday.

Good point: I like red wine.  It doesn't make me fat like beer.  It does give me gas. HAHAHAHAHA!

Another good point: I was able to test out of my stupid classes for school.  More on that in a bit.


The Patriots lost.  The Patriots lost.  The Patriots lost.  The Patriots lost.  Did I mention that the Patriots lost and I'm in heaven?  Thank you Plaxico for putting the nail in their coffin.  Sorry that you couldn't get to the ring in the black and gold but happy to see you get one nonetheless.  GOOD DAY!


Most important: I got my ring back!!  Hooray!  They resized it and it looks awesome and I'm happy to have it back.

Hmmm, let me check the tracking number on my phone.  It looks as though it's sorta out for delivery.  Maybe I'll just call real quick to check.  Hi, DHL, could you tell me where my package is?  This lady had the nerve to tell me it was delayed because of weather.  Do I sound like an idiot?  Do I sound like I've never tracked a package?  Do I sound like I can't go to and see what the weather is like in Ohio even though your website says that the package is in Florida?  Hmmm, your website says that my package is in Florida.  She says, get this, that the scan is for the truck and not the package.  WHAT?!?!  Okay lady, whatever. 

Call number two to DHL: Hi, DHL, could you tell me where my package is?  New lady says that DHL has two facilities here: one international and one domestic.  Somehow, my package got sent over to the international facility, but fortunately, they were able to "catch it" before it went out.  Where the hell was it going?!?!  Is there a Miami, Florida somewhere overseas that I don't know about?  Okay, whatever.  When is it going to be delivered?  DHL lady says it'll get back to the domestic facility today and go out for delivery tomorrow.  Schweet.  New phone tomorrow.

Now, for those AI bastards.  A call to the same woman gets me nowhere.  She says she has to talk to accounting.  Really?  What have you been doing for the last 2 months?  She says she's gonna do it.  I say okay.  Towards the end of the day I get annoyed that I haven't heard from her since she said she would call back.  I send her an email saying that this has to be resolved today.  Guess what?  No response.  Go figure.

Bah, good school bumps up my AA graduation date since I tested out of classes. Unfortunately that means I have to pay more money out of pocket.  Grrrr.  I'm gonna be poor forever.


Woo hoo!!  New phone day!  Let's see where it is.  Funny, the tracking page is the same as yesterday.  Another call to DHL: Hi, DHL, could you tell me where my package is?  Umm, it appears to be in transit.  Well, golly, thanks for that.  So basically, you're telling me that you don't know where it is?  No, it's in transit.  Uh, yeah, whatever.

Good morning AT&T, look, I know I told you yesterday that DHL sucks but today they suck even more.  They lost my phone.  Please call them.  And nice lady called them.  She said that the idiots would call me before ten to let me know the status of the package and then she'd call me back.  Okay then.

Hi, this is pompous ass from DHL.  We lost your package.  YOU SUCK BALLS! Okay, then can you call AT&T and let them know that?  No, we don't do that.  Can I help you with anything else?  No, but you're gonna need someone to help you remove my foot from your anus.  CLICK!

Hi AT&T, DHL says they lost my phone, can you send me a new one?  Sure, we'll get that out to you in two to three business days.  I'm sorry, how long?  DHL screws up and I have to suffer?  I'm full of fake sincerity when I tell you that I'm sorry but that's just the way it is.  HA!  That might be the way it is with you, but that's not good enough for me.  Supervisor!  I can't even go through how many people I had to talk to and couldn't keep the story straight so I had to re-explain it every time I got someone new.  Give me a supervisor before I shrink myself down, come through the phone and throttle your ass!  Got a supervisor.  She hung up on me.  Um, can you say IRATE?  I wasn't even nasty to her.  Yet.  Called again, had to explain my story, again, at least 3 more times.  I finally got to someone who said that they'd overnight my phone.  Hooray.  It's coming DHL.  GIVE ME A FUCKING BREAK PEOPLE!  That phone better show up tomorrow or there's gonna be one very angry black girl storming around.

Hi, first lady from AI, I'd like to talk to you but your phone ONLY rings busy.  I guess I'll have to talk to your boss.  Oh, right, she's not answering her phone either.  Welcome to my nasty voicemail.  You better call me back today or it's ON!  You know what, I don't trust you to call me back so I'm gonna call you again.  Hi, boss lady, it's me.  Are you gonna fix this?  You have to wait for the director of accounting?  Okay, whatever.  Send me an email right this second acknowledging the holdup.

Needless to say, I need a glass of wine and it's only 12:
30.  I'm figuring that things can only get better from here.  Even though I never heard back from the lady about the dog.  Oh well, I guess the dog I have is good enough for now.

I hope that everyone's day is better than mine has been so far.  And oh, by the way, please let me know if you're in my hood and living in Baltimore, Maryland.  Statcounter says someone is visiting from there and the only folks that I know from there don't have the privilege to be privvy to what goes on in my life.  Yes, you.

Have a great day all!

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0 responses to “Crap squared”

  1. I wish I could think of some devilishly clever explanation of what DHL stands for, but I can't, lol. But thanks for letting me know it's not you in MD. I'm probably gonna block that IP address. That's right, I'm gonna block your IP address.
    Everything's better now that I blogged it. Such wonderful therapy. 🙂

  2. Yuck, what a mess. I hate dealing with crappy customer service. The people at my workplace used to enjoy listening to me talk to people about problems – I guess the entertainment value increases as my voice gets louder and I get more insistent. But hey, you gotta give some people hell in order for them to acknowledge your existence, let alone the existence off your problem. Just as long as you can have a big glass of wine afterwards, you're probably in good shape, right?

  3. Mwahahahaha! WINE!
    I just don't understand why nice doesn't get you what you want/need. I had to be almost belligerent (spelling?) to get what I wanted.
    Oh, do you Facebook? I think there are better pictures/descriptions of resorts there.

  4. You can tell the good customer service from the bad by whether you CAN be nice and get what you want/need. I keep a spreadsheet of all the customer service calls I make that includes date, time, #, CS rep's name, and details of the call. Next to the details, I rate the call in terms of how good the overall call felt to me (subjective, based on how nice they were, how easy to get what I wanted, etc). This way, the next time I need to call them, I can remind myself not only of what I talked about, but get in the right frame of mind, in case I need to put on a lion-tamer hat and crack the whip.Speaking of which, you've just inspired me to write a post about this and give out some of my ratings for various companies I've had to deal with…more to come sometime soon.Oh, and I have a facebook account, but I hardly ever use it.

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