I Really Wanna Know

Good morning, boys and girls! And how are we this fine Tuesday morning? If you’re like me, you’re tired and sore but quite ok with it. Muscles get less sore, but memories, when I write them down, last forever. Oh, lest I forget, skeletons can be talked right out of their closets, so be careful.

Last night, I ventured back in to a studio for a workshop. Although I had never been to said studio for a class previously, the pole world remains relatively small, so that in a class of about 10, I knew over half of the folks in attendance. While the workshop wasn’t a stretching workshop (I could really use one of those…weekly), the stretching portion was what I enjoyed the most. I’m not saying that I didn’t enjoy the pole portion of it, just that we could’ve stretched for another 45 minutes and I wouldn’t have been upset. As far as the actual pole work goes, I had some hits and some misses, as usual. Some items easier than others as I had done them before or strange body shapes come naturally to me, some items were all “aww hell no” because I have absolutely zero elbow conditioning left.

Anywho, the studio sit inside of a larger recreational class taking type of place and last night (could be every night, I don’t know), they were playing late 80s/early 90s music as I was leaving. A couple of guys were doing the Kid ‘N Play without putting much effort into it. I couldn’t just let that slide so I told them that they needed more knees and proceeded to demonstrate. People are so easily amused. Meanwhile, as I’m rocking it out, I duck a hockey check from my around the corner neighbor and dance my way out the door. It probably says something about my silly life when I’m dancing and just duck something like that and keep on trucking. The duck came naturally, checking to see who threw the check was an afterthought. I’m weird.

I’m nearly out the door and there is a girl next to me who was also in the workshop. She looks at me a little funny and says, “I’m Lisa (not really), I’ve never seen you here before, but everyone knows you. Who are you?” Easily the best line of the night. I am Mysterion. Or Token. More like Token here in Colorado. Tokenion. Ha, that goes with Colorado too. I’m a legend in my own mind.

You know that whilst I chat with you, I’m making love to this lacrosse ball. Yep. If making love means rolling around on top of it until I find just the right spot then laying on it until the feeling goes away, yeah, that’s what I’m doing. My muscles are set on random, I swear it. One big shuffle of pain. This is the price I pay for really never having stretched. I know it’s never too late and all, especially since I AM GOING TO GET THIS SPLIT, but it would’ve been much easier had I been a flexy kid. <Chef voice> Learn from my mistakes, children!

Have you ever gotten into child’s pose with a soft, warm blanket wrapped around you and just didn’t want to get up? Possibly even go to sleep like that? Yeah, that’s where I am right now.

No rest for the wicked, I suppose. Workshop yesterday, Zumba today, boxing on Thursday, and thankfully, chiropractor on Friday to try to fix all of the things I’ve banged up since last time. I am definitely not going to be one of those go quietly, reflect on life kinda people. Back in the day, Dr. Demento played a song that summed up how I’m currently running things: I want a death by misadventure. Wanna die face down in someone’s pool. Morbid, but silly too. For now, I’ve got to be off to another misadventure. That one called spinach and egg whites. I’m so EXCITING!

Go out and have a misadventure today. Just don’t die doing it.

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