Hold On, Ready Or Not

And aspirin. Yeah, that’s the ticket. Because I forgot how much pain P90X inflicts upon my body. Is this just a woman thing? Guys, do you remember how much it sucked the last time you started working out hard? Of course you do because that’s the way you’re wired. But oh no, not us ladies. We forget these painful things until they are upon us again. Like childbirth. Because really? If you could really┬áremember what that felt like, would you go through it again? Yeah, some of you would. I would not and I don’t remember.

So let’s see…a quick body check:

  • Neck – finally feels better after two hard snowboarding crashes.
  • Shoulders – ouch
  • Upper back – tight
  • Delts and pecs – don’t even ask
  • Obliques – don’t turn around quickly
  • Abs – surprisingly painless
  • Hips – that neverending story of discomfort
  • Quads – I have scootch leg, I swear
  • Hammies – not too bad
  • Hip flexors – trying to claw their way out of my body
  • Calves – need more stretching but at least they don’t hurt
  • Feet – need love

 
So those feet, let’s chat about them for a moment. If you watch football, and of course you watch football, or any other sport, or you STRUGGLE TO POINT YOUR TOES, perhaps you’ve heard of plantar fasciitis. This little nasty can happen when the fascia on the bottom of your feet tightens up. From what I understand, it hurts a lot. Right, Eli?
Don’t wanna get that? Hell, no. Me either. To work towards never having this terrible ailment, get that lacrosse ball out and roll out those arches! If you’re like me, it’s gonna hurt like hell, but you’ll suffer through because a pointed toe/foot is so much prettier than a flexed one. And we all use and abuse our poor feet so much, they deserve some lovin too.
You’re still here? Go get that ball and get to rolling! I’ll see you back here tomorrow after work, Zumba, and, as come on, Shoulders and Arms and Ab Ripper X?!? I’m done.

I Really Wanna Know

Good morning, boys and girls! And how are we this fine Tuesday morning? If you’re like me, you’re tired and sore but quite ok with it. Muscles get less sore, but memories, when I write them down, last forever. Oh, lest I forget, skeletons can be talked right out of their closets, so be careful.

Last night, I ventured back in to a studio for a workshop. Although I had never been to said studio for a class previously, the pole world remains relatively small, so that in a class of about 10, I knew over half of the folks in attendance. While the workshop wasn’t a stretching workshop (I could really use one of those…weekly), the stretching portion was what I enjoyed the most. I’m not saying that I didn’t enjoy the pole portion of it, just that we could’ve stretched for another 45 minutes and I wouldn’t have been upset. As far as the actual pole work goes, I had some hits and some misses, as usual. Some items easier than others as I had done them before or strange body shapes come naturally to me, some items were all “aww hell no” because I have absolutely zero elbow conditioning left.

Anywho, the studio sit inside of a larger recreational class taking type of place and last night (could be every night, I don’t know), they were playing late 80s/early 90s music as I was leaving. A couple of guys were doing the Kid ‘N Play without putting much effort into it. I couldn’t just let that slide so I told them that they needed more knees and proceeded to demonstrate. People are so easily amused. Meanwhile, as I’m rocking it out, I duck a hockey check from my around the corner neighbor and dance my way out the door. It probably says something about my silly life when I’m dancing and just duck something like that and keep on trucking. The duck came naturally, checking to see who threw the check was an afterthought. I’m weird.

I’m nearly out the door and there is a girl next to me who was also in the workshop. She looks at me a little funny and says, “I’m Lisa (not really), I’ve never seen you here before, but everyone knows you. Who are you?” Easily the best line of the night. I am Mysterion. Or Token. More like Token here in Colorado. Tokenion. Ha, that goes with Colorado too. I’m a legend in my own mind.

You know that whilst I chat with you, I’m making love to this lacrosse ball. Yep. If making love means rolling around on top of it until I find just the right spot then laying on it until the feeling goes away, yeah, that’s what I’m doing. My muscles are set on random, I swear it. One big shuffle of pain. This is the price I pay for really never having stretched. I know it’s never too late and all, especially since I AM GOING TO GET THIS SPLIT, but it would’ve been much easier had I been a flexy kid. <Chef voice> Learn from my mistakes, children!

Have you ever gotten into child’s pose with a soft, warm blanket wrapped around you and just didn’t want to get up? Possibly even go to sleep like that? Yeah, that’s where I am right now.

No rest for the wicked, I suppose. Workshop yesterday, Zumba today, boxing on Thursday, and thankfully, chiropractor on Friday to try to fix all of the things I’ve banged up since last time. I am definitely not going to be one of those go quietly, reflect on life kinda people. Back in the day, Dr. Demento played a song that summed up how I’m currently running things: I want a death by misadventure. Wanna die face down in someone’s pool. Morbid, but silly too. For now, I’ve got to be off to another misadventure. That one called spinach and egg whites. I’m so EXCITING!

Go out and have a misadventure today. Just don’t die doing it.