I Really Wanna Know

Good morning, boys and girls! And how are we this fine Tuesday morning? If you’re like me, you’re tired and sore but quite ok with it. Muscles get less sore, but memories, when I write them down, last forever. Oh, lest I forget, skeletons can be talked right out of their closets, so be careful.

Last night, I ventured back in to a studio for a workshop. Although I had never been to said studio for a class previously, the pole world remains relatively small, so that in a class of about 10, I knew over half of the folks in attendance. While the workshop wasn’t a stretching workshop (I could really use one of those…weekly), the stretching portion was what I enjoyed the most. I’m not saying that I didn’t enjoy the pole portion of it, just that we could’ve stretched for another 45 minutes and I wouldn’t have been upset. As far as the actual pole work goes, I had some hits and some misses, as usual. Some items easier than others as I had done them before or strange body shapes come naturally to me, some items were all “aww hell no” because I have absolutely zero elbow conditioning left.

Anywho, the studio sit inside of a larger recreational class taking type of place and last night (could be every night, I don’t know), they were playing late 80s/early 90s music as I was leaving. A couple of guys were doing the Kid ‘N Play without putting much effort into it. I couldn’t just let that slide so I told them that they needed more knees and proceeded to demonstrate. People are so easily amused. Meanwhile, as I’m rocking it out, I duck a hockey check from my around the corner neighbor and dance my way out the door. It probably says something about my silly life when I’m dancing and just duck something like that and keep on trucking. The duck came naturally, checking to see who threw the check was an afterthought. I’m weird.

I’m nearly out the door and there is a girl next to me who was also in the workshop. She looks at me a little funny and says, “I’m Lisa (not really), I’ve never seen you here before, but everyone knows you. Who are you?” Easily the best line of the night. I am Mysterion. Or Token. More like Token here in Colorado. Tokenion. Ha, that goes with Colorado too. I’m a legend in my own mind.

You know that whilst I chat with you, I’m making love to this lacrosse ball. Yep. If making love means rolling around on top of it until I find just the right spot then laying on it until the feeling goes away, yeah, that’s what I’m doing. My muscles are set on random, I swear it. One big shuffle of pain. This is the price I pay for really never having stretched. I know it’s never too late and all, especially since I AM GOING TO GET THIS SPLIT, but it would’ve been much easier had I been a flexy kid. <Chef voice> Learn from my mistakes, children!

Have you ever gotten into child’s pose with a soft, warm blanket wrapped around you and just didn’t want to get up? Possibly even go to sleep like that? Yeah, that’s where I am right now.

No rest for the wicked, I suppose. Workshop yesterday, Zumba today, boxing on Thursday, and thankfully, chiropractor on Friday to try to fix all of the things I’ve banged up since last time. I am definitely not going to be one of those go quietly, reflect on life kinda people. Back in the day, Dr. Demento played a song that summed up how I’m currently running things: I want a death by misadventure. Wanna die face down in someone’s pool. Morbid, but silly too. For now, I’ve got to be off to another misadventure. That one called spinach and egg whites. I’m so EXCITING!

Go out and have a misadventure today. Just don’t die doing it.

Mistakes Get Made

Oh, Monday, how you sneak up on a girl. Jerk.

While snowboarding on Sunday could quite possibly be “the thing”, it also is a bit of a bummer because we got back home yesterday and I immediately realized that the weekend was over. Tears may or may not have been shed. But of course, Monday brings good with it and not just work.

Good, but a conflicted good. You see, today I have a spin pole workshop with some ladies I used to dance/train with until I walked away a while back. Why did I walk away? Ask the chorus up there. Not all of it, just never shined through in what I’ve shown. I really feel like that sentence sums up my previous attempts at dancing. I have stories to tell and it’s as though I have writer’s block of the body. I am really and truly hoping that the time away has been helpful. I know I’ve lost a lot of pole muscle, but I can get that back. I think that the time away has freed me up a little from the constraints I placed upon myself. Ah, the pole world – you labeled me, I’ll label you. And we’re all unforgiven whether it be by ourselves or those we used to call or still call friends.

Between just wanting to be able to move today and trying to early morning prep for this evening’s workshop, I spent quite a bit of time stretching this morning. First the warmup from Dynamix to wake up the body, then a shoulder opening sequence, followed by the requisite split stretching (down to the yoga block having to be pushed to get under the space left on the good side), and ending with a little lacrosse ball to the glutes and hip flexors. After showering, it’s a quick big marble to the neck and shoulder where it’s sore with the anti-inflammatory cream and I’m ready to go to work! Yes, I am slightly off my rocker. I’m ok with it though.

On on!

I’ve put the vacation countdown on the whiteboard. Hubby thinks I’m a little nuts, but it’s kind of a reminder for me of how long I have to get into bikini shape. I saw a furry bikini that just made me smile…almost laugh, and considered buying it since I don’t go in the water, I only walk around the edge of the  pool. I did think that hubby might be slightly mortified walking around with me while I’m wearing it, but he wouldn’t say so. I’ll spare him and get something a little more normal. This time. Good morning, breakfast. Egg whites, spinach, and tomato, it’s good to see you guys again. Grapefruit will be joining the party soon. Skim milk isn’t invited back though. Salads are gonna make their return next week too. It’s a healthy party!

With that lunacy, I’m going to leave you to your Monday. Because my laptop batter is dying and I have to take that aforementioned shower. More fun tomorrow when I’ll probably be even more sore but hopefully I’ll have fun spin pole stories to tell. There’s a whole big world out there. Go get it!

Balance It Out

At this very moment, if I could have anything my heart desired, it would be a never expiring prescription for Flexeril. It’s a muscle relaxant. Why would I want this? Oh, you know, to relax my poor, poor shoulders. Perhaps you recall about three weeks ago when I pretty much ate sh!t on my board. Yeah, ouch. Well, today, I evened it out and fell on the other side. While I didn’t hit the bone on this one, I managed to smack my head off the ground yet again, and this time, along with my pins and needles down the arm, I also got the awesome feeling that I had just dipped my arm in an almost hot bucket of water. Hooray! Craziest part is that the newly hurt side doesn’t hurt, but the previously hurt side hurts more – it had been healing.

As always, it wasn’t all bad. I managed to get down the rest of the jumps for the rest of the day without falling and I actually caught a little air. Baby steps, people, baby steps. AND, most fun ever, I tried out the mini-slalom course today. I’ve been watching that on the Olympics and thought to myself that I should try it. It’s like carving but on uppers. And in deep grooves later in the day. It is super fun.  So now just riding down the hill isn’t enough. I must twist and turn and jump. Woot.

Speaking of twisting and turning, this shoulder “injury” is gonna present oh so much fun tomorrow when I’m trying to spin around by one arm.

This was a long post for a Sunday AND it had a song. Win.

ROCO Friday – You Think It’s A Game?!?!

USA vs. Canada. Men’s hockey. You think it’s a game? You think it’s a fuckin’ game?!?! This is for all the marbles. We DON’T WANT BEIBER!

Yeahhhh, boy. It’s Friday! And I absolutely love that song to get me hype about anything. Also possibly giving me a bad attitude about anything, but the hype outweighs the attitude. I mean, seriously, if you’ve never listened to the lyrics, please, take a minute and do so. Some of the shit Earl says is so off the wall that it’s brilliant. I would totally say this shit at work if it wouldn’t get me fired. I’m not a nice person.

It’s a good looking weekend coming up. Total chillaxing on Saturday and snowboarding and a gun date on Sunday. Maybe, just maybe, I’ll extend that good looking weekend into Monday and take a pole workshop. It interests me. I like to spin. And I think it’ll integrate well into my FabPole work. We’ll see. One minute I’m cool, the next minute I’m up on the pole, rippin’.

What’s my name? Some of you know, some of you don’t, perhaps you don’t care, which is also cool. But when I heard this last night as the last song before I got out of the car, I knew it would be today’s video and topic. You know, nicknames. I’m sure we all have them. I have many many. Part of it comes from my name being a little difficult and parts come from other various and random places. Let’s take a look, shall we?

  • Sis – Well that one is pretty self-explanatory, right? Give the older sibling a difficult name and think the younger sibling will be able to pronounce it. Nope. Let’s go with Sis. What’s my name?
  • Web – Not as in Spidey, not as in Spanish,but as in Webster Long. Remember that tv show, Webster, from back in the day with Emmanuel Lewis? Yeah, that Web. I’m starting from as far back as I can remember with these. I grew up as a fly on the rice as you can sorta see here and it continues with…
  • Kiz – Yes, as in Kizzie, as in Roots, as in I’m surprised I got out of small town racist retarded ass America without getting seriously killed. I blame where I grew up for my not being a sportscaster right this minute. I’ve always loved sports, but there were no Black female role models (on tv in sports) so much for me at that time combined with always being made to feel less than inferior. Yeah, I didn’t find self-confidence until I was about 26 and had left SW PA for good. Stop talkin’ shit.
  • Neen/Neener – Another in the self-explanatory column. I know my name is long and hard (that’s what she said) so it’s easier to shorten it. That was fine as long as you went with the last half and not the first half. For some reason, really unknown even to me, I absolutely hated to be called by the front half. Meh, I’m a nut. Here we go again.
  • My last name – So, I guess that’s not really a nickname since it’s my name, but we’ll run with it. Especially since I’m a girl and those who used the nickname were girls. Funny, it just wouldn’t sound right coming from other people. The game don’t stop.
  • Sunshine – Once upon a time, I worked in a place where a there were people from many different countries and some of those countries don’t use letters together in the same way that we do in the US. Well, this led to people effing up my name left and right or just calling me someone else’s name which sucked. At that time, I was also the only morning person, hence, Sunshine. Nevermind that clip from Harlem Nights. 
  • From Sunshine came Sunny, Shine, and Shyner which I adopted with the slightly off spelling.
  • Morena – I have Spanish-speaking friends. Nuff said.
  • Sarcee – I gave this one to myself as more of an alter-ego than a nickname. Sarcee Wichiwi, which, loosely translated, would mean stubborn girl who dances. Yeah, accurate.

Confusing, eh? But like Earl says, you gonna think it’s a joke until they no longer remember your name and with all of those names to remember, who could ever forget? ROCO! Have a great weekend.


Anonymous Letter

Dear Hip:

Our relationship is rapidly deteriorating. I want to like you, but you are making it very difficult. Maybe it isn’t you specifically, but it’s in your house. I stretch you on a very regular basis and how do you repay me? With even more pain?!? You’re a jerk. Sure, I must have done something to make you angry, at some point, some time ago, but why must you hold a grudge? Now everything around you must suffer with the dreaded foam roller to attempt to reach the real issue that’s hiding deep inside of a yucky piriformis and more than likely a bursa that’s getting squished. But, I refuse to give in to you, hip! You will get rolled and adjusted and you’ll get physical therapy because the mind is stronger than you, hip! You cannot win! Surrender!

Kind regards,

The One Who Is In Pain

Anywho, here’s your P90X 2 recap: Wednesday was Total Body and Ab Ripper X. Lots of core and shoulders, which is perfect as far as I’m concerned, for stronger poling.  It is just SO MUCH DIFFERENT than P90X. In the first one, Tony just threw you in there and tried to kill you on day one. This time, he’s easing you in. Much better, Tony. It’s giving me the opportunity to get the workout done and feel good about it while still leaving me lots of room to push myself harder, stretch myself deeper. Foam roller, baby.

Today, Friday, is Yoga X. Also scaled back from the first series. A mere 66 minutes, which is much better than the near 90 in the first. I found that it starts off pretty yoga heavy but ends up more stretchy conditioning. Now, I realize that yoga IS stretchy conditioning, but he throws in a lot of things that I’ve not seen in a yoga class, so I don’t really consider them yoga. BUT, I’m no yogi so I don’t know for sure. I know that I  like it.

We are coming down to crunch time. The showcase is in a mere 8 days and I really need to get to work. I have a song and I have a few moves that I know that I consistently get into without looking like an elephant with a broken leg. I just need to put them together and find some transitions. I am a lot less stressed about the showcase this time as compared to last time. Perhaps that means that I’m getting (re)accustomed to being “on stage”. Oh, the Club Med years.

So, it looks like a good bit of pole work on Saturday. Teaching/supervising a pole party on Sunday. Fun! Welcome to my addiction, ladies! Teaching a different class rather than my usual Level 2 these days. Switched on over to teaching a mixed level/spin pole class on Monday nights. Aaaaaand, in a few weeks after that, I’ll be teaching a more choreographed, one and a half minute routine type of class. That’s gonna be fun. Grab you glasses and shake your asses!

It’s Friday, tricks! Go out and get some! But be safe. Have a great weekend!