The true meaning of PMS

It's that dreaded time of month, approximately a week before a woman's cycle.  Not bicycle and not unicycle, either.  For years and years it's been called PMS, or pre-menstrual syndrome.  We're tired, cranky, and will bitch-slap you for looking at us crooked.  Well, I'm here to tell you what PMS really stands for.


You see, that's all we really want.  Ladies, can you honestly say that you don't just want a piece of chocolate or a slice of cake, or hell, the entire cake?  Gentelmen, have you not soothed your savage beast with some form of sugar?  It's all we want, nay, need in those few days.

I personally am a bottomless pit when it comes to sugar during that time.  Hence the reason I just ate a piece of cake at 9:30 am. (Thanks, Roboco, it was quite yummy!)  There is no amount of sugar that can quench the thirst of the monster in my belly.  I just must have it!

Why?  Why do I eat like this when I know it just makes a mockery of the exercising that I've been doing?  Why do I do it when I know I have to fit into a dress that doesn't have a lot of extra space in 11 days?  I can't help myself, that's why.  I have no willpower.  I only have sugar and my big, fat fanny.  Now, pass me another slice of that cake.

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