The Trek To Honduras – Episode 1

Well well, my lovlies.  I have returned, in one piece and no worse for wear from the trip to Honduras.  I will split it up into pieces as I am as long-winded as they come.  There are pictures galore but they have yet to be uploaded and they'll probably go straight to Flickr anyways.  On with the show!

We were up early on Thursday morning as our flight was at 11 something and being international, we figured we had best get there on time.  Left the house at about 7 am and picked up another of the wedding party, IM, and headed al aeropuerto.

Upon arrival at the airport, we find utter chaos.  American Airlines had their heads in their arses and had lines that snaked from one end of the terminal to the other.  There were actually a group of kids from Kiddo's school in our line.  This is where deciding to have breakfast at the airport became a bad idea.  We stood in line for a good two hours before we got checked in.  Meanwhile, people who showed up late to the airport somehow got in before us.  BITTER!

Finally checked in, we immediately hit the greasiest thing we could find…Burger King.  We were hoping for cheesy tots, but they didn't have them there so we had sammiches and tots and juice instead.  Ah yes, checked in, but not through security yet.

As MIA is naturally a clusterfoob, security was a nightmare.  For some reason, they had five lines converge into two to get your carry-on x-rayed and to walk through the metal detector.  We were on-point without our laptops to hold us up this time.  People around us, not so much.  Seriously, how long has the rule been in effect that you can't take liquids?  Why did the lady somewhat in front of us try to go through with an entire bottle of water and a frappucino from Starbucks (untouched).  Yes, we laughed when she had to throw it away.

The guy that was "directing traffic" was pretty funny.  He kept telling us that you couldn't have liquids and "sorry to bust your bubble, but you can't bring x, y, and z through here" and a bunch of other stuff that kept us giggling in the line.  Poor guy, he must have been so tired of the SSDD.

It was 5pm somewhere so a frosty beverage was called for.  Nothing like a mojito (minus the mint, I know that makes it not a mojito, I was a bartender for pete's sake) at 10:30 to get the juices flowing.

The actual plane ride was uneventful.  Just a lot of loud giggling between all of us.  Btw, all of us is me, Lovey, IM, the groom, the maid of honor, her hubby, groom's mom and stepdad, groom's dad, bride's dad, groom's sister, groom's neice.

We were prepared for the scariest landing ever in Tegulcigalpa, but it really wasn't as bad as people portrayed it to be.  I have it on video so look for it later.

Yup, landed and greeted by the bride and bride's mom among others.  Hey, hey!  Guess what?  They neglected to put our luggage on the plane in Miami!  Yeah, crappy.  Someone is irate but I don't really care as much because hey, it's a reason to go shopping.  Turns out that our luggage will now not arrive until 24 hours later when the next flight arrives from Miami.  Oh, the fun.

We get checked in to the hotel and YUMMYLICIOUS!  I love a squishy king bed and a view of the pool and a huge tub with the rain thingy shower head!  Let's not forget mini-bar and television with a million channels that I can't understand.

It's time for lunch and so we head over with the whole group to a Mexican restaurant across the way.  Holy smokes, delicious!  They bring out these four long trays of meat with all kinds of fixins and tortillas and we stuff ourselves silly with steak and beer.  Honduras has great beer!  Salva Vida and Port Royal are my favorites.  After lunch we retire to our room to fume about not having luggage.

We need something to wear for our little tour, though, so we walk across the street to the mall.  Wow is all I can say in regards to the mall and its clothing selection.  Took forever to find a pair of jeans that weren't butt ugly.  Finally did and learned that their sizes are different when I took a size 7 into the dressing room and couldn't get it past my knees.  Tried again with a 9 (no go) and an 11 (a bit snug but I refused to buy a 13).  Lovey was having the same problems.   We came away with a pair of jeans and a shirt each.  I shall never wear those jeans again.

(I know this is getting long, but episode 1 is almost done, I promise.)

Later that evening, we went on a bus tour of the city.  The bride's uncle owns a transportation company so it was no holds barred on the freaking bus.  I couldn't finish a beer without being handed another one.  We got to go up into the mountains and see the lights of Tegu which was pretty cool.  We also saw some statues and such.  We were shown where the US Embassy is (you know, in case we get in trouble).

Oh yeah, and how comfortable is it when the local police are making kissy noises at you?  YUCK!  Lovey was not pleased with that but fortunately didn't hear it when it happened and avoided an altercation.  This is in the same area where we were told before we got off the bus to take off rings.  HA!  Safety at its finest.

That concludes our tour of the country and episode 1.  Do Lovey and I get our luggage?  Does Lovey fist fight Honduran police with AK-47s for hitting on me?  Do we drink more beer?  All these questions and more will be answered on the next episode.  🙂

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