miami

Because playing with my money…

…that’s right.  Is like playing with my emotions.

Today, I threw my former gynecologist’s office right under the bus.  Then I backed up and ran them over again.  I’ve been going there for nearly four years as they came recommended by someone that I trust.  Also, they speak clear English and that’s really important to me when it comes to my medical care.
They’ve requested-until-I-caved-in me to have a couple of procedures in the past that I knew I didn’t need.  I’ve had these parts for 36 years and I know how they act.  Sometimes they need a procedure, but most times they do not.
The shortest straw has been drawn for me and that straw broke the relationship.
I am fortunate.  I have health insurance (right now).  And for this pleasure, I pay with my soul, but that’s another story.  I know how insurance works.  This is not my first time having it.  SO, Doctor, I know that I pay you the co-pay and you bill the insurance.  They don’t pay you everything you charge because you overcharge like bars in a strip club.  But this is not my problem.  Until this year apparently.
You see, you’ve decided to change your policies.  Instead of me paying my lovely co-pay, you’ve decided that ALL patients should pay you $150 up front and (I shit you not) if after you bill the insurance, you’ll cut me a check for whatever I overpaid.
Have.  You.  Lost.  Your.  Everloving.  Minds?!?!?!
I’m sorry.  Never once has one of my bills come back to you.  Never once have I owed your office money.  And this is the shit you’re gonna pull?  You tell me I have a deductible (which isn’t listed on the card, you had to look online or call) but  you couldn’t bother to see that I have a co-pay and you can’t rape me for $150 thinking I’m some other moron down here that isn’t gonna throw you under the bus?!?!
Get under the bus, bitches.
Yeah, that’s right.  I called my insurance company.  I peppered them with questions.  I know you’re wrong.  I also know that what you’re doing is in violation of your contract with the insurance company.  And I reported your ass.  You know why?  Cuz times are hard, motherfuckers.  While you’re living in your big ass house, driving your nice car, some of us are just getting by and trying to stay healthy.  How can you charge someone $150 in these times and expect them to wait for you to send back the extra?  I know that I wouldn’t have seen my $110 for over a month and that’s only if you didn’t try to steal more of it from me.
Not everyone is gonna call you on this, but I did.  What you’re doing is uncalled for.  It’s filthy and I despise you for it.  I know it isn’t common practice either.  I’ve been to many doctors from dermatologists to chiropractors and EVERY OTHER DOCTOR has been about helping the patient, not screwing them.
Karma is a bitch.

Turkey Trot Countdown! T-24 days


Well, it is official. Today I registered for my first 5K. So, on the morning of Thanksgiving, when most of you will either still be sleeping or beginning to slave over the day’s dinner, I will be out putting in 3.1 miles on the road. It’s funny, 3 miles doesn’t really seem like a lot, but for someone who, for her entire life, has thought of running as the worst possible form of torture, this is truly an accomplishment! I have a Nike Mini to prove it!

It’s hard to believe that 8 weeks ago, I probably wouldn’t have run to the bathroom and just this morning, I put in 3 miles. I’m also starting a glucosamine/chondroitin regimen since my knees have seen better days and my Q-angle is just plain huge! I have no doubt that the right knee will need scoped before I turn 40. I’m currently just hoping to get it strong enough to make it through a week of snowboarding over Christmas.

I had been “dieting” for a couple months and no matter what I did, it just didn’t matter. I looked the same. I weighed the same. I started to wonder why I was bothering. Granted, I know that I’m just a SOLID young lady. I stand just under 5’2″ and I stay around 130 pounds, but that also includes a good 3 pounds of dredlocks and 2-3 pounds of boobs.

Running (or at least the process of working my way up to running) has given me the figure I always wanted but could just never achieve. No more muffin top and no more looking like I just finished off the whole turkey when I just had a sandwich. Yes, I’m super vain like that, even realizing that I’m just cute (‘cept to Lovey of course), but it’s been a long time of growing out hair, going to the dermatologist, and one time under the knife to get to this point where I can be happy.

Back to the Thanksgiving speak, we have an office shindig every year. This is year four for me. The first two years I made Gram’s kick ass mac and cheese and they tore it up! Last year I deviated a bit and made a three bean and sausage casserole. For a bunch of hispanic people, they were awfully shy about having some beans. No matter though, I kept a pot at home for me and the rest went to a shelter for the needy. All good.

This year, I’m making a huge ass pot of greens. I don’t care if I have to wipe out 3 grocery stores to get it done. Do you have any idea how delicious greens are? If you don’t, man are you missing out. But, this is also coming from a person who’s been eating them for nearly 30 years.

So, in case you hadn’t noticed, my blogs tend to ramble on and jump a bit, but that’s how my mind works. Be happy. If it worked in straight lines, I would’ve taken over the world by now!

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

Flying high again!

Ladies and gentlemen, MiamiShyner is hitting the skies tonight and will be flying high again.

That’s right, after a way too long hiatus, I’m heading back to the rig to fly tonight. I’m sure I’ll be just a smidge rusty but that doesn’t really matter since I’m not allowed (no one is unless you work there) to fly without the safety lines at this particular rig. Does it make a difference? OMG yes! I can only assume that it is equivalent to the difference in feeling with/without a condom for guys? Unless that’s just one big load of bull, lol. What do I know? I’ve been with the Lovey for nearly five years; we don’t need ’em.

This morning, I asked myself what would happen if I started just doing some stuff for me. Then I asked out loud on Facebook. The answers I received were: Happiness? Independence? Satisfaction? And you know what, those answers are right.

I’ve spent a lot of my time here in Miami worrying about doing for others or only doing the things that don’t upset others in the least. I am not saying there’s anything wrong with that, but it hasn’t gotten me where I want to be. I’m no more stretchy, I’ve no more circus skills, and I’m no closer to being a fitness instructor or a massage therapist. However, I AM a mere four months away from finishing a degree in IT. So, boo for me and congrats to me.

Starting here, starting now for the rest of the time I’m in Miami, I’m going to be selfish. I’m going to *gasp* put myself first. I’m going to take the time to read my three bookshelves of books. I’m going to take the time to blog and write in general. I’m going to fly, spin, twirl and do everything that I want to do (that doesn’t break the bank).

Join me as I chronicle my ascent into a new level of happiness. 🙂

Best (stuff I almost didn’t) Buy

Oh! Hello there. Remember me? Blog owner/neglector? Well, I’m back and I have an amusing story for you. Or at least it was amusing to me.

Let us begin.

In case you don’t know or don’t remember, I rock a 94 Honda Accord with on again-off again AC but pimped out 17s (I bought it used) and a nice factory sound system. Now, said sound system is comprised of AM/FM/CASSETTE! Ha, yes, you know those things that aren’t even made any more. Well, for the most part, this is just fine. My drive to work is only 30 minutes on a good day. The problem lies in the fact that the radio in Miami sucks. My. Ass. This can make for a loooooong drive.

Do you know where all of my music is? Yes, it’s on my phone. I would love nothing more than to hear some of my tunes or Pandora or hell, a podcast on how to speak Spanish, while I’m driving rather than the blah, blah, blah that falls out of the mouths of DJs. How does one go about getting this done?

I think one would start at the brand spanking new Best Buy that opened recently over on the beach. I had one of those old skool cassettes that you plug in and the other end is like a headphone jack for portable CD players. (Let me tell you that I feel like I’m 90 right now talking about this old technology.) Problem with said setup is that at some point, the wire got eaten and so it only plays out of the right speakers.

How am I to impress Miami Hood Rats with my sound system booming from only one side?!?!

As I walked into sparkly new Best Buy, I was greeted by a huge security dude. Hi there very large black man wearing yellow. I will NOT try to sneak anything out past you. I headed back to the section that I thought would hold my treasure. An associate watched me walking around. He actually followed me around for a couple minutes without saying anything. I was in my work clothes so I don’t think he thought I was tryin to steal anything.

I got to the point where I couldn’t find what I wanted and I was about to leave but the associate chose that moment to ask me if I needed help. Why yes, yes I do. Better late than never. I explained to him what I wanted and he told me that he was sure that they didn’t carry the item. He did, however, walk me around to show me a bunch of other things that I could use until he realized that my car is OLD and doesn’t have an auxillary jack. Dejected, I headed towards the door.

Enter security dude.

“Did you find what you were looking for?” he asked.
“Sure did not,” I replied.
“Well what is it that you need?”
“Something old skool for my old skool car.”
“Okay, what is it?”

At this point I told him what I needed then said that an associate helped me but the store didn’t carry it.

I. Am. NOT. Making. This. Up.

Security dude moved his magic camera joystick and then zoomed in and pointed to the screen and asked, “Is this what you need?”

Motherfucker! Sure as shit it was!

He pointed me in the right direction and I was able to bump music the whole way home. Security dude said to me that this was the reason that he should be on the floor. I totally agree. I don’t know anything about Best Buy’s hiring practices and such but I think that later today, wait, not today, today is Metallica, but tomorrow, I’m going over to that store to speak with a manager to let him/her know what a great job that security dude did. I won’t throw the associate under the bus since that’s rude, but let the big man get some commissions! He knows more than the people you have on the floor!

Gotta run, there are tunes to be played in the car. 🙂

I Got A Guy or IGAG

If you’re from New York (and I’m sure some other places), you’ve probably heard and/or used the phrase “I got a guy”. If you aren’t familiar with the phrase, it’s basically like saying, “Don’t call that expensive contractor because I know someone who will get the job done for you for way less.”

Now, in NY, I believe that this system works. Here in Miami, however, if someone tells you they’ve got a guy, RUN as fast as you can in the opposite direction. That contractor might cost you an arm and a leg, but in the long run, it will be worth it. Let it be known that when we move and my name is on the mortgage/deed, we will not play IGAG.

We’ve been playing IGAG in the house for sooooo long and more often than not, it’s been a mess. First it was IGAG for painting the house. I understand that painting a house is a big project, but these people took FOREVER to get it done!! Oh yeah, and they got crap all over my kitchen window that they didn’t bother to clean.

Next round of IGAG puts up the privacy fence around the house. At least a month to get that one done. The fence is still standing though. *knocking on wood, but not the fence*

After the first two rounds of IGAG outside, I was hesitant to play IGAG inside, but again, it wasn’t my decision. First stop, the downstairs bathroom. We had been using it more or less as storage. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy to have a second bathroom as no one ever has to rush out of one. And sure, the light fixture is nice and the new toilet is fantastic. But seriously, if you have to fix the toilet less than 2 weeks after it’s been installed, you’ve been IGAG’ed. *sigh*

Our kitchen was a little outdated..still is to be perfectly honest, but we got a little upgrade. Drop ceilings with new ceiling tiles. New sinkage. New fridge, although that’s just because the old one died. We even have track lighting in there now. Don’t get too happy about it though, because less than 2 weeks after it finally got finished, I went into the kitchen and turned the light on and got nothing. IGAG’ed again. No, it wasn’t the breaker or the bulbs, just something the guy screwed up. Oh, and he moved to Naples or Tampa or something, so we’ve been without an overhead light for MONTHS!

It seems obvious that we might have learned our lesson by now, but guess again.

The house is old and doesn’t have central air. This is fine by me because I hate the air conditioner anyway. Well, we have heard from a reliable source that once the A/C gets installed, our electric bill should go way down. I swear to you that this installation process started two months ago. And yes, we’ve been IGAG’ed again.

The first time the guy came, he didn’t have the right stuff. Then he couldn’t do it the way he planned. So he left the wrong stuff in my living room where it sat. And sat. And sat. He eventually returned and did one part of the job. Then it sat for a few weeks. Yesterday he returned to “finish”. Needless to say, he didn’t. He did, however, come in with his partner, make a complete mess of the house (I was dusting and mopping the floor after 10 last night), stink up the house (I know it’s hot and all, but dude(!) take a shower!), and the biggest insult was that he used our bathroom. He used our bathroom and missed. Thanks dude. Now I have to mop a stranger’s piss at 10pm. I suppose it’s better than having the bathroom stink, but have a little common courtesy you fuck. And he still has to come back today to connect the electricity.

I realize that getting a legit contractor in Miami is equivalent to getting me to eat okra/asparagus/liver. Impossible! But man, IGAG isn’t much better.

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