All Good Things Must Come To An End

I knew that when I was writing the Cozumel recap, I should’ve done the last day as well, but I didn’t and now it’s a day late, but that’s ok as yesterday was oh so long. I won’t be doing a recap of the travel day because that’s just boring.

Last day on the ship seems like the day that everyone tries to do everything, us included. Ok, maybe not everything. It was quite a leisurely day. We laid around on pool chairs, listening to the band and then had some BBQ they were making outside on the deck. Went to bingo and won absolutely nothing (thankfully not another cruise on Royal and I don’t have to go there any more).

FlowRider FailThe highlight of the day was getting out and trying the FlowRider. Now we all know that water activities and I are not friends. However, Lovey wanted
to try this so I acquiesced. That is me falling down. I did manage to stand up for a few seconds, however, my cameraman didn’t get that on digital media. I, on the other hand, got an entire video of him on it. Three times I got up. Three times I feel. Three times that damn horny FlowRider pulled my bathing suit bottom and shorts nearly all the way off.

We had booked a private lesson because there was no way I was going to humiliate myself in front of the crowd that always gathers to watch people bust their asses on this thing. They call private four people, but I was okay with that. So, it was Lovey and me along with Phillip who works on the oil rigs and said he saw the ships go by all of the time and wanted to be on one, and Mariah, a teenager from Houston. We all worked well together and had a blast. And we only had Phil’s wife and Mariah’s mom and grandparents (maybe, I couldn’t quite catch the family dynamic on that one) to see us fall all over the place.

In the awwwww department,  towards the end of the session, Mariah, who is a little on the overweight side, some still baby fat I think, but plenty of time to work it out, came to me and said, “Can I ask you a question?” all super shy. Of course you can, there Mariah. And her question: Do you work out? 😀

Yes, dear, I do. Nearly every day. I wish I could stay bikini ready without working out, but I’m 40 and shit starts to fall apart as you get older. I shoulda figured out how to do long distance personal training for her. She’s a beautiful girl and taking some weight off would probably help her realize her own beauty since kids these days are total dicks and I wouldn’t doubt that she gets teased back at home. You kids need to cut the shit because one day it’s gonna come back to get you. Karma boomerang kids!

Anywho, thanks to our phones, we can see how many steps we took every day. For the week, we walked just over 53 miles. How crazy is that? Squats? I don’t need no stinking squats! I am pretty sure my ass lifted up a bit just from walking up four decks to eat and then down four to the room and then up four to the pool and up two more to the FlowRider. We almost never took the elevators, even on formal nights. When we got up to 11 from 3 one day, there was a crew member there and he asked if we were tired. We told him that we took the stairs from 3. 3?!?! he said. Yes, 3. He told us we were crazy and he wouldn’t ever do it, lol.

And that, my friends, is the week in review. I hope you enjoyed reading about it. Go on a cruise. It’s a good time. I’d just recommend Carnival. 🙂


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