hap·py – [hap-ee]

characterized by or indicative of pleasure, contentment, or joy

Right.  So, I'm sure that people measure their "happy" in different ways and I'm sure that no one is perfectly happy, meaning that they have EVERY LITTLE THING THAT THEY COULD EVER WANT IN THEIR LIFE.  It just doesn't seem possible.  But, mostly, we get many of the things we want and most of the things we need and that qualifies us as happy.

I am happy.  I think I'm happy.  I thought I was happy.  I'm confused.

It's only a couple times a year that I am forced to take a good look at my happy.  I have a child and a significant other whom both love me dearly.  I have a steady source of income, a reliable method of transportation, a roof over my head.  I have family that supports me in any way that they can.  Why, then, do I question my happy?  Could it be that I'm just fooling myself?

All of this stems from a visit.  A visit from an old friend who probably knows me better than I know myself.  A plutonic friend, let me make that clear.  Somehow, this friend sees right through this facade as if it weren't even there.  I'm not unhappy, per se, but deep down, in the depths of my heart and soul, I guess I know that he's right.

I know that he also wants to see me happy, like the happy he's seen me before, but he also knows that I'm not in a position of life-changing movements.  I guess it's good to know that he's still there for me, as his parting statement was "Just let me know when you're ready to leave all of this."  Yeah, ouch.  Sigh.  I should get back to work.

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0 responses to “hap·py – [hap-ee]”

  1. Quite ballsy of him to assume it'd be him if and when you are ready to leave "all this." Don't let him get to you. Some people are able to penetrate certain shields no matter how high you set them. It doesn't mean he's right. It just means that he knows you have some doubts (which we all do) and he's tapping into that to get to you with less effort.
    The dubious nature of your happy has nothing to do with its existance. It's our nature to want more. That's right… we're all too greedy for our own good. Good luck on exceeding your happy. 🙂

  2. Thank you. I needed to see this from a different perspective (which is why I posted it, I suppose). It's more complicated than I wrote because I can't get my head around it sometimes but overall, you're right, I want more!! 🙂
    I need to go get happy.

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