Call Me Rip Torn

You know, I probably need to bring it down a notch in my life when it isn’t odd to me at all that I have ridiculous injuries. Groin pull here, bad knee there. Frozen shoulder here, torn labrum there. I’m like Frankenstein but I never get any new parts. One might think that these random injuries might slow me down or encourage me to just cut it out, but no, I won’t.

How did I get to today’s pain? Well, let me tell you. I have an OmGym (yoga swing) that hangs in my workout dungeon. About a week and a half ago, I was in it and I created some (unnecessary) pressure on my lower abdomen. A day or so after that, I felt that area tightening up. For the next week or so, I was just careful while sneezing since it was only a little bit uncomfortable. Fast forward to yesterday when, like the genius that I am, I went to the trapeze.

First swing was just a hang because that’s how I roll. Second swing I went whole hog, trying to gain some height. No problem and so far so good. Typically, when I go to the rig, I’m a three swing girl and then I pull lines. Third swing I threw a pretty strong layout. Now, what in the world possessed me to get up on the board again?!?! I don’t know. I should have sat my happy ass down. But I didn’t.

Fourth swing went like this: sweep, force up and out, swe…AAAAAAARGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOMYGAAWWWWWDIT HUUUUUURTSSSSS! Slam. In layman’s terms, at the front of my swing is when my abs/obliques decided to give way. Think of it like this: If you had a bendy straw implanted in your side and stretched your just got out of bed morning stretch, it would be the equivalent of someone expanding that straw and twisting it and then pouring searing white hot pain in the straw. At this point, I am hanging from the bar (no lines) and I can’t lift my legs because of the pain in my side and physics. I have completely forgotten about everything that I am supposed to do in the air at this point, and so, I now slam into the perch with the back of my left leg. It sounded worse than it was and a day later it’s sore but not bruised, so that’s a bonus. As you may (or may not) know, a swing takes all of about 5 seconds, if that. From the time that I shredded my guts to hitting the board to hitting the net probably took those 5 seconds. It felt like 10 minutes.

Needless to say, that ended my trapeze day. I packed it up and headed home to wallow in my own tears. Gingerly.

First item of business: figure out how to sit/lay comfortably. Flat on the floor worked for a little while but not long. Couldn’t get comfortable in any seated position. Weeeeeee! As soon as I would find something comfortable, I’d have to get up to pee. FML, you know? This goes on for hours.

Once, I stupidly twisted to one side or the other which damn near killed me. I don’t know that I’ve ever passed out in my life (I’ve blacked out 2 or 3 times but that’s a whole different neurological issue.), but from what I’ve heard about it, I think I was close. The whole room got steaming hot. I starting sweating like Smokey in the pigeon coop. My ears started buzzing/ringing. And I thought that lunch was gonna make a return visit. Holy hell. Mind over body! Mind over body! Man up! So I sat on the edge of the bed and fanned myself with my hand until my impending death decided to select another date and time. Made it.

I was nervous about moving around in my sleep, but my hubby said that I never move around very much while sleeping. Not what my Fitbit says, but ok. It actually says that I was awake twice and restless seven times and that’s a pretty good night for me. Also, I didn’t wake up screaming in the middle of the night because I tried to stretch or anything whilst lying down. Hooray!

Kinesio tape – it’s a lifesaver. I swear it’s all that’s holding me together right now and I love it dearly. I may or may not have it applied 100% correctly, but I think it’s close enough that I’m not cringing with every movement. I’m hopeful that I’ll be able to take it off on Saturday and still pose for pictures (because people ask me to do these things even after the first time out when I was a nightmare to try to shoot – must remember to have a shot first to chill the hell out) while leaning on cars and whatnot.

Eventually, I’ll start writing again with better form where things have a beginning, middle, and end, but for now, it’s stream of consciousness. Which is pretty much how I talk so if we talk on any sort of regular basis, you probably follow along with this just fine. If not, we should talk more often. See ya next time.

Workout Wednesdays

That video will make sense in a little while.

So here we are on workout Wednesday. Certainly the toughest but best day of the week. Like every (week) day, I’m up at 5. I have a date in the basement with Shaun T for T-25 where I also, at times, jump higher than needed. Motherf$#k spiders. I’m so tired of seeing them down there. If you’re wondering, no, I don’t kill them unless they are making threatening ‘I’m gonna jump on you’ movements. Then, they die because I’m not down with spiders being on me or in my hair or biting me. You’ve (probably) seen my hair. A spider would get lost in there. I’m sick thinking about it.

After Shaun wears me out, I try to dry off enough sweat to both get out of the current workout top and into the next one for it’s off to the gym! Chug a protein shake on the way. Usually, there’s no sweating involved in yoga, but now and again, we have a killer class where I’m sweating…and we’re outside. Mind you, it’s usually only about 60 degrees out at 6:15 in the morning. I’m also still hot from cardio. Woo! 75 minutes and it’s back home to shower and change clothes. To go work out again!

Off to the rig. Today we had a brand new person, one of my pole sisters, Lisa. She has a gymnastics background so the first part came fairly easily for her. I mean, for having never been up there, to only go four times and have that fourth time be a knee hang catch? Yeah, she’s got it. I, of course, was my typical lazy self at the rig. One warmup swing, one swing, one layout, and I’m here to pull lines and be social. I need that mental health break, trust me.

Usually that’s the end of the workout day. I come home and shower and head in to the office. But oh no, not today. Today, I’m throwing in a pole class for good measure. Why? Because I’m slightly off my rocker, but also because I hear we were gonna work on some fun stuff and what am I gonna do while Lovey works out anyway? Perhaps I’ll have something interesting to chat about tomorrow after I make it through class.

Alrighty then, about that video. today’s writing prompt was about having the ability to travel to any one point in time. It didn’t specify if you could only use this ability one time or indefinite times, so I’m going to go with you have this ability all the time. I think I want to see myself engaged in whatever it is I do to make a living. That’ll let me know if the current direction is the right direction and if all of our harebrained schemes came together.

So there you have it. See ya tomorrow.

Summer Polestice

Ok, ok, so I’m a few days late with it. On the actual summer polestice, I was shoving bacon down my piehole like there was no tomorrow. There was so much tasty stuff at the Blue Ribbon Bacon Festival that, at times, it was difficult to make choices since I couldn’t eat everything. I did find that since I’ve been trying to eat better, greasy items were not appetizing to me. One bite and I either didn’t want any more or I wanted to spit it out. I mean, it’s bacon, it certainly can be greasy, but it doesn’t have to be. Sometimes being healthy is no fun.

On the topic of pole, an item that has been on the bucket list that I don’t really have is to submit for a competition. I did it, since now I can attempt to play with the big kids, aka the Master’s division, aka the over 40s. I won’t know for another couple of weeks if I’m actually going to be in the competition. Like some other folks I know, and probably some I don’t, I go back and forth between ‘I hope and get in’ and ‘OMG what did I do, please gawd no!’ These two sides are fighting it out on a near daily basis in my head. The yes side has a song picked out; the no side is thinking about how much more trapeze I can do. The yes side keeps me stretching and doing cardio; the no side said ‘have a cinnamon roll’. So I’ll keep fighting it out internally for a few weeks until one side wins, and by wins, I mean I get an email saying I’m in or I’m not (assuming you get ‘hey, you suck’ emails, lol).

Footnote: I’m certain that no one will get an email saying, hey you suck. I’m just goofing. There may be letters of ‘not this year, try again next year’ or something else that will soften the blow. The pole world is really supportive and encouraging.

Having been off the pole for a while, I’m making my way back to some semi-advanced tricks. Stuff that was escaping me in my previous pole life. I had the absolute toughest time getting into Superman then. The first time I needed to do it recently, boom, there it was like it hadn’t been the bane of my existence for a long time. Imagine that. Other fun stuff I learned that I can do include sitting up out of both an iguana mount and a brass monkey, fun shoulder mount holds, shoulder mount to brass monkey(!), and handstand press-ups with both hands on the floor and with one on the floor, one on the pole. These things are exciting to me and make me wonder what else I can get my body to do. Russian split? Maybe. I mean, I understand the positioning, it’s just a matter of whether or not my legs are going to cooperate. I think with the stretching on the regular, I might just get there, torn labrum be damned.

I’m keeping it realistic here and I’m completely open and prepared for the no option to be a reality. With that in mind, I’m thinking about what, if anything, I want to accomplish at the rig this year. I really should work on returning to the board and not being such a chickenshit. It would help me in being lazy and not having to climb the ladder so damn much. I need to solidify my split and maybe see if a whip can be in my arsenal. My layout is in a fairly sweet spot, so I guess I should start taking it across. Hell, I should start taking any/everything across since I haven’t done any of that since at least last season. Perhaps some twisty or flippy tricks will show themselves this year. Could this be the year the forward over returns? Duhn, duhn DUHN!!! If I could whip, I could flexus, right? Yes, right. Only positive vibes. Let’s see how much of this positivity I have tomorrow morning after T25 (I hate you, cardio, but I love you because you’re the only thing that makes me skinny) and yoga. Positive thoughts, y’all!

These are my not-so-random thoughts this fine Tuesday morning. Those plus ‘write a damn book already!’ are my thoughts. Baby steps will get me there. Wish me luck. See you tomorrow…maybe.

A hodgepodge

Yes, a hodgepodge. Sorry in advance.

Let’s start with yoga. There isn’t much to report on from Monday. I didn’t have an opportunity to chat after class as I had to get home ASAP because I had Lovey’s truck (BrotherMan had my car for his first day of work) and he had to get to work also. As though I didn’t know this already, my hip area is tighter than, well, insert your own little dirty ditty there as you like. My  knees never make it to the floor in a butterfly stretch and attempting to do fire log pose is just a laugh and a half. No meditating today – I’m such a slacker.

Sunday night/super early Monday morning, I had just the most vivid dream. My dad was in it. I’m quite certain he hasn’t shown up in any of my dreams since he passed about 10 years ago. While I don’t fully remember the entire premise, it seemed like the real life situation had been reversed and my mom had passed and my dad was still kicking. I think that I was possibly living at home with him, but I’m not entirely certain. I do know that I had met someone and was considering either moving in with said person or possibly moving away with said person and my dad was really upset by this. The feeling I got was that he was about to lose his house and there was just a lot of lost feelings. It was really tearing me in half in the dream and I woke up a little bit disoriented. Kinda strange, but even in a dream that was far from happy, it was good to see him so clearly.

Yesterday, Lovey and I went to the first in our series of eight (indoor) snowboarding classes. It was an absolute blast. We got to start with some trampoline conditioning before we went over to the hill where we worked on heel side and toe side turns. Totally fun although I ended up with a wet butt as they dampen the carpet so that you can actually slide down it on your board. I’m hoping that at the end of the session, I won’t freak out every time I accidentally catch air and I might actually catch some on purpose! More fun…jumping off of a 12 foot platform into the big air bag. Wheeeee! The first one was scary until Lovey pointed out, um, you do flying trapeze and it’s higher. Next week I’m flipping into that bad boy!

Tomorrow is possibly the most full day I have had or will have in quite some time. Looks like this: wake up at 5:30. Head to the gym for yoga at 6:15. Come back home and stuff my face full of oatmeal (or maybe eggs if I’m feeling up to it) before I head over to the trapeze for some morning flying at 9. Fly till about noon and come home to shower before going to work at 1. Finish that up at 5 and scoot back to the house to change clothes and head over to Progresh for trampolining and tumbling class at 6. I’m there until 7-ish from where I’ll go directly to aerial fabric class at 8. Hmmm, I am definitely going to have to find a place to put food in there, huh? Hopefully I survive, lol.

Welp, I guess I had better go get dinner started because with any luck, I’ll be cheering the Pirates on to a win over these damn Cardinals and putting a few more wins between us and them. Let’s go, Bucs!!

Finding an Opening

Have you ever been moving your body, contorting it into different positions, trying to get your back (leg, knee, hip, etc) to crack? This happens to me all of the time. Almost everywhere, I can get some movement. The only place that escapes me is my lower upper back. Just about center back, right below the shoulder blades. I try hanging upside down to find the release to no avail. I try twists and foam rolling, but there is just a stubbornness that I cannot get past. Even when I go to the chiropractor, he has problems getting any movement out of my upper back. I think I feel it particularly the most, as in, it’s just so close, when I’m in down dog.

I suppose it shouldn’t come as a big surprise, then, to find that this is right about in the space of the heart chakra. Mine is, apparently, terribly blocked. After yoga this morning, I was discussing this with my instructor. She said that, while my yoga in general is getting much better, she can see the struggle I have with breathing at times, and really allowing that air to get into my chest. We talked about how I find it difficult to focus on green when I’m meditating and how red or orange are so much easier and the meaning behind it. She’s offered to do some private work with me in the gym (help! I don’t know the rules for this…do I pay her or offer to pay her or is this yogic karma?!?) which I don’t yet know if I will do and gave me a few more things to try to help get and keep the focus on the heart. I guess no one ever said this would be easy.

Speaking of things not being easy, I am on week three of (almost) no caffeine. I made myself a big cup of coffee yesterday (all day meetings are more draining than being in the gym all day), but I think I took three sips of it before I just didn’t want it any more. I’ve stopped adding white sugar to my tea and started simply drinking it black (the tea is caffeine free also). I may venture out into keeping some raw sugar here at the house for when I just have to have something sweetened….or for cooking, although I think that will need some trial and error.

Today was certainly the best day of flying that I’ve had in a little while. I usually take a swing or two and just let it go, but today I went across quite a few times (splits and layouts..thanks, Brucer!) and felt good. I’m still not turning around for the return, but I think the time will come. I don’t feel a need to push myself overly hard. I like to, as I told someone else today, just feel it rather than thinking about it. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe next week. Maybe never. It will be what it will be.

It’s back for another four week session of fabric tonight. It’s quite enjoyable. Happy to have stepped out of my little trapeze box for an apparatus that’s a little more flexible..even if I’m not. 🙂

The time is upon me where I must prepare to take that journey into the office. I hope that your day is fantabulous.

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