Finding an Opening

Have you ever been moving your body, contorting it into different positions, trying to get your back (leg, knee, hip, etc) to crack? This happens to me all of the time. Almost everywhere, I can get some movement. The only place that escapes me is my lower upper back. Just about center back, right below the shoulder blades. I try hanging upside down to find the release to no avail. I try twists and foam rolling, but there is just a stubbornness that I cannot get past. Even when I go to the chiropractor, he has problems getting any movement out of my upper back. I think I feel it particularly the most, as in, it’s just so close, when I’m in down dog.

I suppose it shouldn’t come as a big surprise, then, to find that this is right about in the space of the heart chakra. Mine is, apparently, terribly blocked. After yoga this morning, I was discussing this with my instructor. She said that, while my yoga in general is getting much better, she can see the struggle I have with breathing at times, and really allowing that air to get into my chest. We talked about how I find it difficult to focus on green when I’m meditating and how red or orange are so much easier and the meaning behind it. She’s offered to do some private work with me in the gym (help! I don’t know the rules for this…do I pay her or offer to pay her or is this yogic karma?!?) which I don’t yet know if I will do and gave me a few more things to try to help get and keep the focus on the heart. I guess no one ever said this would be easy.

Speaking of things not being easy, I am on week three of (almost) no caffeine. I made myself a big cup of coffee yesterday (all day meetings are more draining than being in the gym all day), but I think I took three sips of it before I just didn’t want it any more. I’ve stopped adding white sugar to my tea and started simply drinking it black (the tea is caffeine free also). I may venture out into keeping some raw sugar here at the house for when I just have to have something sweetened….or for cooking, although I think that will need some trial and error.

Today was certainly the best day of flying that I’ve had in a little while. I usually take a swing or two and just let it go, but today I went across quite a few times (splits and layouts..thanks, Brucer!) and felt good. I’m still not turning around for the return, but I think the time will come. I don’t feel a need to push myself overly hard. I like to, as I told someone else today, just feel it rather than thinking about it. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe next week. Maybe never. It will be what it will be.

It’s back for another four week session of fabric tonight. It’s quite enjoyable. Happy to have stepped out of my little trapeze box for an apparatus that’s a little more flexible..even if I’m not. 🙂

The time is upon me where I must prepare to take that journey into the office. I hope that your day is fantabulous.

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