Hands Up!

Up there, that’s your proof that Zumba is Crazy Signs done at Carlos n Charlies or Senor Frogs.

I’m not sure why Tiburon was stuck in my head this morning outside of it’s a crazy sign and those always get stuck in my head. I had to look through a few videos to get that proof. I mean, seriously, if you were in Ixtapa, can’t you just see Jerry and Lalo up on stage doing this? (Or Rebo, Caro, Eden and myself) Along with a couple GOs of course. The whole thing reminds me of visiting a Carlos N Charlies in Cancun. Hubby was so awesome to play along when I went to dance with the folks that work there. I never mentioned anything Club Med to them, so they were mildly confused when I hopped right in and danced along with them. Too cute the waiter in front of me who kept moving my hands from his waist to his ass. VIVA MEXICO!! (A donde mi corazon vive)

I don’t know what the story is with this week where I’ve been having trouble realizing what day it is, but I do know that I’m not alone. A couple people at work have been having the same issue this week. This makes me feel good because it makes me feel like I’m not losing my mind, or if I am, I’m not the only one. I think it’s partially because my personal calendar has less on it and my work calendar keeps gaining timesucks meetings. I’m Rick Ross in this piece.

Let’s talk exercise for a minute, because, well, I almost always do. Today was a new set of exercises – back and biceps. You may call me Master P because UUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHNNNNNNNNNN! I know that I will be feeling that tomorrow. I surprised myself at the beginning with how many unassisted pull-ups I could do and depressed myself at the end with how many unassisted pull-ups I could do (that would be zero because my arms were SHOT!). On the up side, I’ve reached a point in the program, that, as of today, there are no new workouts the rest of the way out. All that’s left is the pain I already know, so there is that bonus. I am going to be absolutely smoking for this cruise and the first pic I post shall be me all ripped up in that motherfucking split that I WILL HAVE by then. Pardon my dirty mouth. I’m rated R for mature language, mild violence, and sexual situations.

You know, quite often I wish I had a USB port in my head where I could simply download items to make room for new items. Oddly enough, I only just now realized that I sort of do in this blog. Sorry that you guys are my mind dump, but it’s much appreciated. I mean, you don’t want to see my head explode, right? Ok, so don’t answer that question. Instead, go enjoy the rest of your hump day. Toodles!

Jump!! Training

Ahh, Diamond Dave. With a split better than mine. Go head, DD. Couldn’t nobody mess with you back in the day. Well, you know, except Eddie and Alex. It has nothing to do with you that my favorite Van Halen song is actually a Van Hagar song, but Dreams, come on.

So it’s Tuesday and you  know what that means…plyometrics, aka jump training, aka all fucking squats, lunges, and jumping while doing them, aka this better make my ass look phenomenal. Seriously, by the time I finish this round, my ass better be damn near on my shoulders. I think it’s a more reasonable goal now that I can actually do squats. Three months ago, the area around my hips was so tight that I couldn’t even get into a squat properly. I was all head down, leaned over, and not even getting my quads parallel to the floor. Today, I can get past parallel. Or, I can when I properly handle the knot that’s currently residing in my left tensor fasciae latae and it’s being a total jerk at the moment. I need to talk my chiropractor into some Graston on that leg. Not because it causes me pain, per se, but because it’s hindering my split progress.

It’s Tuesday and that also means I get to go to Noodles and Company for some Thai Hot Pot. I don’t know what I’ll do with myself if/when they take that away. It is at about a 16 on a scale of 1 to 10 for a deliciousness factor. I couldn’t even put it into words. Just go find a N&C and find out for yourself. I don’t eat the peppers. I don’t know for sure what they are and I don’t want my mouth to be on fire.

And, it’s Zumba Tuesday. I missed the last two weeks as P90X was kicking my ass, but now I’m in the groove and I’m ready to get my cardio on and shake my ass. Makes me happy after a long day of sitting at a desk and banging my head against the nearest metal object.

Last night was a good night since I passed my level. However, last night was also a bad night since I remembered to take my glucosamine and fish oil pills that made my tummy rumble something fierce. Yikes. But, no bubble guts, no bubble butts. Of course that’s not true, but it rhymed.

Ok kids, I’m off to be productive. It’s Tuesday but it’s also my Thursday. Snowboard jumps, here I come!

I Won’t Forget You

Bloggy, I won’t forget youuuuuuuuuu. Even though I did yesterday. Yes, it’s true. I somehow did not remember about writing for Sunday until this morning. But you know what? Shit happens. I made it almost 70 days without a slip-up, so I’ll just press on and hope for another 70 days without one as well. Or perhaps 82 days. Blogging on vacation is gonna be tough.

Sidebar: I just looked out the window at the sun coming up and it looks like the sky is on fire. I’d share a picture, but I stopped bringing my phone downstairs with me in the morning because of the time suck that it is. Workout and stretch and THEN Facebook and email.

Last week, I started eating a little better to go along with my working out. Since I typically don’t eat like shit, we aren’t talking big changes here. I have to do baby steps with changing my food. Last week it was breakfast – switching over to the egg whites, spinach, and tomato instead of my breakfast sandwiches. (Only on weekends now for those little delicious monsters.) This week I’ll continue with the good breakfast. Next week, my goal is to step away from my frozen lunches and to have a better, fresher lunch. Dinner has never really been an issue, but there are steps to be taken there as well.

Like I mentioned, as a habit, I don’t eat really unhealthy stuff, at least not on a regular basis. Of course every now and again I’ll have something that’s completely out of control, but those are called cheat days and I’m 99.9% sure that having a cheat day once a week is a good idea. A little controlled cheat keeps me from binging on cake and ice cream. I guess I may have more than one cheat day a week though, because, if we’re going snowboarding, I’ll eat whatever I want because we’re burning quite a few calories out there on the mountain – more if I fall a lot. So Sunday was this week’s cheat day where I had a breakfast sandwich from Panera. Oddly enough, I couldn’t even finish it. It was yummy and I wanted it, but my tummy said, “Step away from that slightly greasy mess that you’re eating before I send it all back!” I had to walk away. My stomach is smarter than my brain apparently.

Well, swimsuit shopping is about to officially begin. I’ve seen one that I like and could be a winner, however, there’s still time to change my mind. I figure I have until about 2 weeks before the trip to make a decision and allow for shipping. Feel free to post any fun links of swimsuits down there to make my decision even more difficult. I almost want something in brown because, well, you know, shock factor of “Hey, is she naked?!?!”. What can I say, I’m a silly girl.

And this silly girl has to go and get things done. It’s a new week so get your fresh outlook and go out there and handle your business. See you tomorrow.

Like Wiz Says

Language, Wiz. I could’ve looked harder for the radio edit, but we’re all grownups, right? Riiiiiight.

It’s only Wednesday. Or, it’s only Wednesday and I’ve put in 5 hard workouts this week with 3 stretching sessions. See that? Positivity! Go me! On that stretching note, I suppose it’s time for splits progress updates. Looks like this:

3.5 R Split3.5 L Split

I could put up before and after, or you could just go look here. I know that I’m making progress and that’s kinda more important than you knowing. Still love ya. I’m feeling pretty good about the progress that’s being made. Perhaps three more months and I’ll get it all the way to the floor.

This morning I tried a little oversplit stretching. Just a tiny bit with my front foot up on the short side of a yoga block. With that, I could definitely feel that there’s more stretching to be done. More, like beating my hip flexors into submission. Those little bastards hate me with all their might. Yesterday, they said, “Ha! You think you’re going to get up from sitting and just walk like a normal human?!?!  NO! You will work your way from caveman to human every single time!” And I wondered, why, oh why are you doing this to me?

 You see, I can deal with being sore…as long as I know why I’m sore. Yesterday, I didn’t know why I almost couldn’t walk. The source was really escaping me – until this morning. After Shoulders and Arms (great workout when I’m gonna go shooting later today) I got down on the floor for Ab Ripper X and VOILA! That’s why I couldn’t walk. You see, that workout is more than just abs. It’s CORE. Upper abs and lower abs and hip flexors and all that great stuff. Ouch. So tomorrow will probably be more of  yesterday but hopefully to a lesser degree.

 As much as I’d like to chat all day with ya, I gotta go work hard so tonight I can play hard at the range. That grouping is gonna be phenomenal and centered tonight. Hopefully pretty enough to share a picture with you tomorrow. Until then, work, work, work.

Hold On, Ready Or Not

And aspirin. Yeah, that’s the ticket. Because I forgot how much pain P90X inflicts upon my body. Is this just a woman thing? Guys, do you remember how much it sucked the last time you started working out hard? Of course you do because that’s the way you’re wired. But oh no, not us ladies. We forget these painful things until they are upon us again. Like childbirth. Because really? If you could really remember what that felt like, would you go through it again? Yeah, some of you would. I would not and I don’t remember.

So let’s see…a quick body check:

  • Neck – finally feels better after two hard snowboarding crashes.
  • Shoulders – ouch
  • Upper back – tight
  • Delts and pecs – don’t even ask
  • Obliques – don’t turn around quickly
  • Abs – surprisingly painless
  • Hips – that neverending story of discomfort
  • Quads – I have scootch leg, I swear
  • Hammies – not too bad
  • Hip flexors – trying to claw their way out of my body
  • Calves – need more stretching but at least they don’t hurt
  • Feet – need love

So those feet, let’s chat about them for a moment. If you watch football, and of course you watch football, or any other sport, or you STRUGGLE TO POINT YOUR TOES, perhaps you’ve heard of plantar fasciitis. This little nasty can happen when the fascia on the bottom of your feet tightens up. From what I understand, it hurts a lot. Right, Eli?
Don’t wanna get that? Hell, no. Me either. To work towards never having this terrible ailment, get that lacrosse ball out and roll out those arches! If you’re like me, it’s gonna hurt like hell, but you’ll suffer through because a pointed toe/foot is so much prettier than a flexed one. And we all use and abuse our poor feet so much, they deserve some lovin too.
You’re still here? Go get that ball and get to rolling! I’ll see you back here tomorrow after work, Zumba, and, as come on, Shoulders and Arms and Ab Ripper X?!? I’m done.