Laying Foundation

Ha! You see what I did there with that title and that video? I got jokes.

Last night, I visited a pole studio that I’ve visited previously, but not for a while since it’s kinda far from home. BUT, Shawnda asked and since she’s been over to my neck of the woods, I could certainly return the favor. Here’s a little nugget about rush hour in Denver: it took me an hour to go 8 miles, lol. Of course, it didn’t help that it had started raining/snowing and people were driving like it was the Indy 500 and therefore crashing like it was Saturday night at the Motordrome. Shout out to Smithon!

To accentuate how long it had been, when I walked in, I said hello to the instructor. She said hello back and then did a double take. “Whoa! I haven’t seen you in forever! I actually can’t remember the last time.” So,  yes, it’s been a while since I took a pole class strictly trick-related. We started out with a fun little combo. If you don’t dance, this will mean nothing to you, so just hang tight or skip ahead or something. For those of you that do, and for my own reference later, it went like this:

Girl on top, back hook, girl on top, step through to jasmine to the floor, two ninja turtles (lol, Shawnda)

We played with that for a little while and it was fun. I have to remember to keep my toes on the floor in ninja turtle, but other than that, I didn’t do too badly. Now, the other thing, lol. Teacher says while doing the moves: “Ok, so Apprentice, push out to Extended Butterfly, then tuck your hips to a Box Split. I’m not gonna leave out my non-pole dancing friends here. You can see the moves right there from left to right.

Nowwwww, not all of yinz know me or my broke ass hips, but that last move is pretty much just a no fucking way for me. My hips aren’t about that life, even though I stretch them daily. They’re making progress, but I’m nowhere near what is needed for that third move. Not that I would let these broke ass hips keep me from giving it a shot and providing some entertainment.

First move, sure, I can do that, because strength. Second move, yup, that was a go-to move on the regular when I was working out on the regular. So up I go and it goes like this: grunt, grunt, grunt, inverted grunt, hip cramp, scooch hands, scooch leg, get top leg lowered some, grunt some more, slide, slide, slide, find the pole with bottom leg, get both feet to the floor before I fall off the pole. All of this while people were watching. More people than I realized, lol.

After the grunt and scooch fest, the teacher comes to me and asks if I’m a runner. I reply that I am not. She says that something is making my hips tight. I tell her, yes, a partially torn labrum in one of them. We both laugh and she says, yeah, that’ll do it. Points learned: still got it, can roll with level 3s, hips are broke, I need to do more inverts because strong lower abs would help me in my handstand press. Oh, and I still enjoy it.

That’s all I’ve got today!

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