Ha! You see what I did there with that title and that video? I got jokes.
Last night, I visited a pole studio that I’ve visited previously, but not for a while since it’s kinda far from home. BUT, Shawnda asked and since she’s been over to my neck of the woods, I could certainly return the favor. Here’s a little nugget about rush hour in Denver: it took me an hour to go 8 miles, lol. Of course, it didn’t help that it had started raining/snowing and people were driving like it was the Indy 500 and therefore crashing like it was Saturday night at the Motordrome. Shout out to Smithon!
To accentuate how long it had been, when I walked in, I said hello to the instructor. She said hello back and then did a double take. “Whoa! I haven’t seen you in forever! I actually can’t remember the last time.” So, yes, it’s been a while since I took a pole class strictly trick-related. We started out with a fun little combo. If you don’t dance, this will mean nothing to you, so just hang tight or skip ahead or something. For those of you that do, and for my own reference later, it went like this:
Girl on top, back hook, girl on top, step through to jasmine to the floor, two ninja turtles (lol, Shawnda)
We played with that for a little while and it was fun. I have to remember to keep my toes on the floor in ninja turtle, but other than that, I didn’t do too badly. Now, the other thing, lol. Teacher says while doing the moves: “Ok, so Apprentice, push out to Extended Butterfly, then tuck your hips to a Box Split. I’m not gonna leave out my non-pole dancing friends here. You can see the moves right there from left to right.
Nowwwww, not all of yinz know me or my broke ass hips, but that last move is pretty much just a no fucking way for me. My hips aren’t about that life, even though I stretch them daily. They’re making progress, but I’m nowhere near what is needed for that third move. Not that I would let these broke ass hips keep me from giving it a shot and providing some entertainment.
First move, sure, I can do that, because strength. Second move, yup, that was a go-to move on the regular when I was working out on the regular. So up I go and it goes like this: grunt, grunt, grunt, inverted grunt, hip cramp, scooch hands, scooch leg, get top leg lowered some, grunt some more, slide, slide, slide, find the pole with bottom leg, get both feet to the floor before I fall off the pole. All of this while people were watching. More people than I realized, lol.
After the grunt and scooch fest, the teacher comes to me and asks if I’m a runner. I reply that I am not. She says that something is making my hips tight. I tell her, yes, a partially torn labrum in one of them. We both laugh and she says, yeah, that’ll do it. Points learned: still got it, can roll with level 3s, hips are broke, I need to do more inverts because strong lower abs would help me in my handstand press. Oh, and I still enjoy it.
That’s all I’ve got today!
Whew! It’s over. Colorado Pole Championship 2014 has come and gone. The most prevalent question is always, “Did you win?” The answer: no, in a trophy or medal way, I didn’t. But in so many other ways, yes, yes I did.
To my fellow Masters Division competitors, THANK YOU! You ladies made this experience so much less stressful and so much more enjoyable with your compassion, love, and understanding. Even though medals and trophies separate us, we still stood together (or leaned on our wheeled walkers together) in support for one another. I can be almost 100% certain that this is not how all competitions go, so I am oh so thankful to have had this experience with you. Mel, Lisa, Kris, Tammy…you’ll be in my heart forever. I’m so proud of each and every one of you for getting up there and putting your hearts and souls on display.
To Leesi and Sasha, for without you, I would be trying to pole on thin air, thank you for your generosity in allowing me to utilize your equipment and facilities to work out this performance. You are certainly my enablers in the best possible kind of way.
To Nina, for without you, there wouldn’t have even been this opportunity to perform. Thanks for holding it down for Colorado and giving competitors and those who wish to compete one day a place to do just that.
To Team Imperial Flyers, YOU GUYS!!! Thank you for coming out to the show! I loved seeing you there and I hope you had a blast. Nicky, Kristen, Violeta, and Alex, from the rig to the stage – HEP!
To the ladies of Boulder Spirals, much love. You guys are so supportive and you always have a smile and a hug for me no matter how long it’s been since I’ve seen you, poled with you, or even chatted with you. It’s with you ladies that I cut my pole teeth and for that, and for your love, I’ll be forever grateful. Jaslee, Leslie, Daisy, Linda, Chrissy, everyone. Thank you. <3 To my L’Ru Crew, well, I’m not sure what to say outside of FUCK YEAH! For having my back. For yelling till you’re hoarse. For laughing with me in the studio when I’m complaining about a move ripping off ass meat. For still loving me if I catch up to you in PDP on Monday nights. For accepting me for who I am, baked goods and all, lol. Joy, Alexis, Amber, Chelsie, Meg, (I know I am missing ladies and I am SORRY!!) but MAD LOVE to you guys! To ALL of the competitors, you all rocked! Thank you for sharing your vision and your talent. Thank you for your comraderie back stage. Ariel and Dave, Lauren, Nadia for being extra nice to someone you didn’t know. Meri and Sara, for just being you. 😀 To every single person that put two hands together or opened their mouth to cheer, thank you. There were some folks that knew me but I didn’t recognize in the excitement of the moment. For that, I apologize, but know that I am grateful. To the complete strangers who really got it, who got the energy, who felt pulled into the fun, this one was for you. Thank you for making me a winner! To my makeup guru, Holly (and her mom Tracy), a million thanks for helping me create the look I was going for. Great big expressive eyes to help tell my story. I do a lot of talking with my eyes and you certainly helped me to tell my story! Last, and certainly not least, I’d like to thank my family. Thanks to my brother, Jesse. Thanks to April for coming out. A tremendous thank you to my mom for FLYING OUT to see all of these shenanigans. And thanks to my hubby, Jorge, for putting up with all of the time away from the house, the grumpiness, the aches and pains, and everything in general that comes with competition training. I really couldn’t have done it without your support. So, in the end, did I walk away with a trophy? Nope. But, did I walk away with a sense of accomplishment, a sense of satisfaction, a feeling that I shared my energy? Yes, I did. Did people tell me they were encouraged to try pole based on my performance? Yes. Did a husband ask me to try to coerce his wife into competing? Yes. While I may not have touched the judges, I moved the crowd, and to me, that is far more important. Thanks, CPC, it was a wild ride.
Good Friday morning to the flock. Let the congregation say, ROCO! And not just any ROCO, it’s work from home ROCO. It’s I’ll be in my pajamas nearly all day ROCO. Yeah, that’s right, I came down the stairs in those mofos. It is almost the weekend! And the congregation says, ROCO!
I kid you not, this day is an integral part of my week. At least two days I week, I want nothing more than to be able to wear something super comfortable and instead I have to put on work clothes. Today, I wear what I want if anything at all. These are good times. They aren’t quite the best of times. That video is for another day. Maybe when I’m on vacation in 93 days.
Yes, I have a countdown happening. It’s on my whiteboard as a reminder not to slack off on working out for 90 days starting on Monday. Three straight months of getting it in will have me body-ready by then. It’ll also serve as a base for the strength I need to gain if I’m thinking about participating in the Colorado Pole Championship this year. The hardest part about the whole concept is that I need to prepare possibly two routines, supposing that I am accepted.
I lean towards going forward with this as I’ve been saying for some time that in year 40, I would do this. I’m still not 100% on board, but the wonderful feedback and support I got yesterday from just mentioning the though pushed me from 50% to at least 75%. 🙂 A big part of, well, everything, is flexibility and my lack of it. It’s something that I would REALLY have to work on along with strength. That full front split isn’t a requirement or anything, but there’s also so much more to flexibility than that. I need to work that upper back and shoulder shit too. Ohhh, the work involved to participate. Yes, participate, not compete. I want this to remain fun. It’s like a showcase but just on a bigger stage. I’m not going to think about winning or losing or placing or competition at all. I just want this performance to be better than my last one. Yep. That’s my goal.
It’s also my goal to get through this day of work successfully and that means getting to it. Have yourself a great Friday and never forget, ROCO!
Yes, I "borrowed" this from grrrace. I find it amusing.
1. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME: (first pet & current car)
Ginger Nova (that's right, I had a Chevy Nova. My brother used to say "You've gotta dig deep, a 77 Nova don't run cheap.")
2. YOUR GANGSTA NAME: (fave ice cream flavor, favorite cookie)
Pecan Praline Snickerdoodle. How gangsta is that??!?!
3. YOUR “FLY Guy/Girl” NAME: (first initial of first name, first three letters of your last name)
S Bur. Well that's just dumb.
4. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite color, favorite animal)
Royal Blue Sheltie. Hmmm, it's got potential.
5. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you were born)
Dinae Mt. Pleasant. That acutally works.
6. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first)
Bursh. It sounds like gas.
7. SUPERHERO NAME: (”The” + 2nd favorite color, favorite drink)
The Purple Mind Eraser. No, really officer, I'm not hopped up on drugs.
8. NASCAR NAME: (the first names of your grandfathers)
Jesse Clifford. Damn that's awful redneck for both of them to be black.
9. STRIPPER NAME: ( the name of your favorite perfume/cologne/scent, favorite candy)
Ass Mounds. No, I'm kidding. Vanilla Mounds. BWAHHAHAHAHAHA!
10. WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mother’s & father’s middle names )
Grace John. That's a good one, no?
11. TV WEATHER ANCHOR NAME: (Your 5th grade teacher’s last name, a major city that starts with the same letter)
This is why I answered this one. I'm Zeli Zelionople. Couldn't be much more awesome than that.
12. SPY NAME: (your favorite season/holiday, flower)
Fall Tiger Lily. Is that a name or a command?
13. CARTOON NAME: (favorite fruit, article of clothing you’re wearing right now + "ie" or "y")
Strawberry Shoey. Meh.
14. HIPPY NAME: (What you ate for breakfast, your favorite tree)
Bagel Dogwood. Nuff said.
15. YOUR ROCKSTAR TOUR NAME: (”The” + Your fave hobby/craft, fave weather element + “Tour”)
The Flying Trapeze Snow Tour. Oh yes. I'm hitting the road soon.