Back Down Memory Lane

I was going to insert that song, but as I started to listen to the lyrics outside of the chorus, it just didn’t go with what I’m looking for here. And The Little River Band is so much more appropriate for so many reasons.

Many, many moons ago, like half my lifetime ago and then some, I was a shy kid who never felt like she fit in anywhere. (I still don’t fit in, but it’s purposely these days.) I struggled so much with my identity back then. I felt like I was always a step behind and that I would never catch up. I suppose that chronologically speaking, I was behind since I was a few years younger than the majority of the people I hung out with, but for the purpose of today’s story, that is neither here nor there.

Sidebar: I’m making breakfast as I write. FOUR SLICES?!?!  Four slices is one serving of Canadian bacon? That’s a lot.

So, as this child, I wanted nothing more than to be a part of the group and to do what they were doing. Sometimes this worked, but sometimes it did not. And the did not times were the ones that happened to be the most important ones to me. I knew that there wasn’t anything I could do to force the did not times, so I didn’t try. I wallowed quietly in my sorrow (except for that one time I locked myself in a room and played the same song over and over and over just crying it out.) and figured that was just the way life was gonna be.

I never vocalized these things, just let them fester (which led to a whole lotta things down the road, like RAMPAGE), and for the most part, it all went unnoticed. Except for by one person. I swear to you that I only had this revelation within the last year. This person saw my pain and waited until just the right time and took it away. Said person gave me the one thing that I was looking for, and for that, I am grateful.

I know this is ultra-vague but sometimes, that’s just the way it’s gotta be. The person of whom I’m speaking will likely never read this. The possibly one person who would know about this and might read this probably still wouldn’t put these things together. Still, and always, what a debt of gratitude is owed. That person is the one who started me on the journey to who I am now (so blame them, lol).  So to my Rude Dog, my ride-or-die before that was even a thing, and most importantly, my friend, I say thank you. What you did for me cost you nothing, but it was worth millions to me.

And on that vague note, I’m outta here! Let’s see if we can’t make this short week fly by!


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