First and foremost, get your sway on! Feel the rhythm of the ROCO flowing through your veins. If it tells you to get up, then GET UP! If it says to yell out, then YELL OUT!
Good people of the ROCO congregation, thank you for joining me in another celebration of the day we all love, Friday. And like Smokey said: "I know you don't smoke weed, I know this; but I'm gonna get you high today, 'cause it's Friday; you ain't got no job… and you ain't got shit to do."
That's right, I'm gonna get you high today, but we'll be high on Friday. Hit the weekend bong cuz it's right around the corner. Now, Puff puff, give. Puff puff, give. You fuckin' up the rotation.
It's been an excellent week for the head of the ROCO flock. Ain't nuttin bad happen to a muhfuh this week. Even the dog didn't pee on the floor this week which means that there was none of this: I grab a dog. I choke him and I kick the shit out of him. All day long got my foot up a dog's ass. Just bang, bang, bang up his ass. That's my pleasure.
Now, while I've got you here, ROCO congregation, please someone let me know who stole April. I swear just yesterday was the first of the month! I don't mind the time flying on by though, because the sooner we make it on over to February 2010, the sooner I will graduate and be able to be more in control of my life.
Oh, and where is my stimulus check?!?! Does the IRS not know that Playing with my money is like playing with my emotions, Smokey. (Just kiddin Mr. Tax Man. You take your time, but not too long, okay? Please?) Mama need a new pair of shoes!
Let's bring it down a notch for just a moment, my people. I need to mention something serious. Why could the Penguins not pull off the sweep last night?!?! Jerks. Just because you didn't HAVE to win, doesn't mean that you couldn't have done it anyways. Do you know what I wanted to say to the Rangers and their fans today? Do you?? You just got knocked the FUCK out! But no, now we have to play them again. At least it'll be at home though.
I want to thank each memeber of the congregation for joining me here today. I can only keep ROCO Fridays alive with your help. So when the collection plate comes down your aisle, remember that it's better to give than it is to receive. I would also like to thank the members who were with me in spirit this morning. Guiding my hand on the wheel when I had to drop off Kiddo at school at 4 FREAKING AM so she could go on a school field trip and I forgot to put my glasses on. A much appreicated thanks.
With that, my good people, I must bid you farewell. There are people out there that must be recruited into the flock. I usually knock on their doors on Saturday morning but they're getting wise to my ways. That does not mean that I will not keep making the ROCO presence known. And why, might you ask, do I keep pressing on? Because every Friday, I like to be able to say that For most people, Friday's just the day before the weekend. But after this Friday, the neighborhood'll never be the same.
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