pole dance

Friends and Family

Ask, and you shall receive, Maria. šŸ™‚

First, this choreography! I need to go back to the 70s where I could keep up with the dancing. Step, together, step, tap, baby. I got that all. Day. LONG! My CM choreographers know this.

Second, if you aren’t thinking of the Pirates from the 70s when you hear this, well, I guess you just aren’t a Pirates fan, now are you?

Now, on to the meat of things: family.

Some folks might only have, one definition of family, that being those who fall under the category of people related by blood. Nope, nope, nope, nope nope. If you’re a Facebook user, you might be familiar with friends lists. In my world, they’re more like family lists. Let’s take a look at that, shall we? Not literally because you don’t need screenshots of my Facebook. šŸ˜›

Alrighty then, let’s start at the beginning. Steph and Jess had the most pimped out wedding ceremony you have never seen back on 8.1.70. They are my everything. Taught me all the good stuff about respect and being a good person. All the sirs and ma’ams to be had. But also pinochle, barbeque sauce, and banana pudding. And food takes us down the yard to Gram and Pops. Man. Totally my second mom and dad but with cookies and ice cream. Gram made the good good. Peach junk and mac and cheese. I can kinda replicate them because I spent so much time watching her make them, but any time I asked for a recipe, it was “a little bit of this and a little bit of that”. Pops got me my car knowledge as he “worked” in a garage and so I learned to change oil and tires which leads me to the first family that wasn’t blood. Let us not forget the little brother whom I clobbered with the ketchup bottle and the daughter who came much later down the road.

The VMH crew. Van Meter Heights, a name we entirely made up in our backwoods, rural one mile stretch of road. It was the kind of area where everyone knew everyone’s business, so there was no sneaking of anything! At least not for me, lol. I had mom and dads and brothers and sisters all up and down the road. They taught me friendship and fights and how to make up from them. These people were more than likely the beginnings of the unemployed comedian I am today.

My next sets of families came from work. The Don Pablo’s family, the Kanagroo’s family, the Houlihan’s family, and the Club Med family. Working in hospitality changes you! Everyone should have to do it at least once. These folks taught me about relationships and what they were and what they weren’t. They taught me what it was to have someone’s back and to know when someone had mine. I learned fantasy football with them, nearly got kicked out of baseball stadiums with them, went to back-to-back-to-back movies with them, did parking lot donuts in the snow with them, checked out WWF (back when it was still WWF) Raw with them, and took over Carlos ‘n Charlies with them on a weekly basis. Of course there were not so great times, but we got through them together and we’re all stronger for it. This isn’t to say that I have no family from non-hospitality jobs because I do. I’m looking at you Rebecca, Pedro, Justin, Holly, and Chris. OMG don’t be mad if I didn’t mention you. I can’t list every single person, Pramod. And Shiva.

A quick shout out to my pole and circus family! Y’all taught me to be my damn self and go ahead and be that self on stage. A couple sentences isn’t really enough, but I can’t be here all night!

And now, now I am growing a real estate family. It’s been fun! I am constantly out shaking hands and kissing babies. Mayor McCheese-ing like there’s no tomorrow. People who are teaching me how to get this job done; taking me under their collective wing and providing me with guidance and encouragement. I can already almost build a castle with business cards! (I’m not, but I COULD.)

Of course, I couldn’t end this without speaking of my not blood but close as you can be family. The hubster and his (now my) family. They’ve never been anything less than spectacular to me. Hubby puts up with more of my crapola than anyone in the world probably could without kicking me out. He has taught me, with no offense to one or two other people, what true love is, in giving and receiving.

So there you have it. Sometimes hard to follow but sometimes stream of consciousness is how I write. Don’t worry, you’ll get used to it as you get to know me. šŸ˜€ Come back tomorrow or the next day for some more confusion. It’ll be fun, I promise, fam!

Laying Foundation

Ha! You see what I did there with that title and that video? I got jokes.

Last night, I visited a pole studio that I’ve visited previously, but not for a while since it’s kinda far from home. BUT, Shawnda asked and since she’s been over to my neck of the woods, I could certainly return the favor. Here’s a little nugget about rush hour in Denver: it took me an hour to go 8 miles, lol. Of course, it didn’t help that it had started raining/snowing and people were driving like it was the Indy 500 and therefore crashing like it was Saturday night at the Motordrome. Shout out to Smithon!

To accentuate how long it had been, when I walked in, I said hello to the instructor. She said hello back and then did a double take. “Whoa! I haven’t seen you in forever! I actually can’t remember the last time.” So,Ā  yes, it’s been a while since I took a pole class strictly trick-related. We started out with a fun little combo. If you don’t dance, this will mean nothing to you, so just hang tight or skip ahead or something. For those of you that do, and for my own reference later, it went like this:

Girl on top, back hook, girl on top, step through to jasmine to the floor, two ninja turtles (lol, Shawnda)

We played with that for a little while and it was fun. I have to remember to keep my toes on the floor in ninja turtle, but other than that, I didn’t do too badly. Now, the other thing, lol. Teacher says while doing the moves: “Ok, so Apprentice, push out to Extended Butterfly, then tuck your hips to a Box Split. I’m not gonna leave out my non-pole dancing friends here. You can see the moves right there from left to right.

Nowwwww, not all of yinz know me or my broke ass hips, but that last move is pretty much just a no fucking way for me. My hips aren’t about that life, even though I stretch them daily. They’re making progress, but I’m nowhere near what is needed for that third move. Not that I would let these broke ass hips keep me from giving it a shot and providing some entertainment.

First move, sure, I can do that, because strength. Second move, yup, that was a go-to move on the regular when I was working out on the regular. So up I go and it goes like this: grunt, grunt, grunt, inverted grunt, hip cramp, scooch hands, scooch leg, get top leg lowered some, grunt some more, slide, slide, slide, find the pole with bottom leg, get both feet to the floor before I fall off the pole. All of this while people were watching. More people than I realized, lol.

After the grunt and scooch fest, the teacher comes to me and asks if I’m a runner. I reply that I am not. She says that something is making my hips tight. I tell her, yes, a partially torn labrum in one of them. We both laugh and she says, yeah, that’ll do it. Points learned: still got it, can roll with level 3s, hips are broke, I need to do more inverts because strong lower abs would help me in my handstand press. Oh, and I still enjoy it.

That’s all I’ve got today!

When You Write One Day And Post The Next

Writing. Writingā€¦.is what brings usā€¦togeverā€¦..today. Today, on this Monday morning. Where I woke up feeling and looking likeĀ I had partied like it was 1999. All I really did was watch my Battling Buccos come from behind (again), take the Cards to extraĀ innings (again) and win it in walk-off fashion (again!!) to win the series and go into the All Star break only 2.5 games behindĀ those dirty birds. And as a sidebar, the Black and Yellow seems to have to battle a lot of dirty birds (Cardinals, Ravens, TomĀ Brady).

Office life: On this oh so rough morning, all I wanted was to heat up my breakfast sandwich. However, someone chose to breakĀ the paper towel dispenser. Rummaging through drawers turned up nothing. So, Macgyver to the rescue, Iā€™ll just use a coffeeĀ filter. And then as I typed this, I splashed coffee all over my face. After I threw away my coffee filter napkin and before noticingĀ that someone took my last tissue from my desk and left an empty box. Splashed again. Is it 5 yet? Or even 4:30?

Yesterday wasnā€™t just the thrilling stress of baseball. It was also the culmination of a couple months of rehearsals and questionsĀ and heels and rehearsals and questions and heels(!) also known as the summer recital for Lā€™Ru Studios. For the longest time, Iā€™veĀ wanted to do some pole-related Cell Block type activities and, with the help of five of my lovely studiomates, I was able to makeĀ that dream a reality. There wonā€™t be video for a little while, and when there is, Iā€™ll post it, but I think it went off pretty well. I gaveĀ up my Squish role for one of Lipschitz and, I am pretty sure that everyone had a good time. I also played around with a soloroutine to ā€˜Miserableā€™ by Lit where I attempted to be sexy. The verdict is still out on that one. The routine was clean and I didnā€™tĀ blank out on anything though, so Iā€™ll call it a win either way.

Sooo, also of note, we moved. After nearly five years of renting in Westminster, we moved down the road a bit to Arvada. NotĀ because we wanted to, but because the homeowners decided to move back. The major point Iā€™m taking away from this move isĀ that, when we move back to Florida in about 3 years, I am hiring a moving service. No way am I packing up an entire house for aĀ third time. It is just too much.

Moving is such a purging opportunity. My goodness. Between the amount of electronics that we took to Best Buy for free recycling, what we gave to Goodwill when the truck was across the street, and then what we gave them on other trips after more cleaning probably should be a mega tax writeoff, but who really has time for that? Not me. I just wanted it GONE! JustĀ thinking about what else is going to have to go between now and the next move makes me cringe. But you know what doesnā€™tĀ make me cringe? The thought of having a convertible and being top down a lot of the time in Florida. Thatā€™s the thing Iā€™m lookingĀ forward to.

The new house is nice. Quite spacious even though we technically downsized from the house we were in. I finally have a place toĀ hang my OmGym and took advantage of that for some long overdue inversion time this morning. My yoga dungeon really and truly is a dungeon now in the unfinished basement of doom. You know, where we keep the smallest tv connected to Directv, lol.Ā The dungeon with windows and AC or heat depending on the season. I guess Iā€™m not painting a very good picture of a dungeon.Ā Well, seeing as how weā€™ve made it past noon here in the mountains, I suppose it is time to wrap this up. No wonder I slack onĀ writing when it takes me half a day to get one post done. Work getting in the way, as usual. Weā€™ll see if we try this againĀ tomorrow.

The End.


Whew! Itā€™s over. Colorado Pole Championship 2014 has come and gone. The most prevalent question is always, ā€œDid you win?ā€ Ā The answer: no, in a trophy or medal way, I didnā€™t. But in so many other ways, yes, yes I did.
To my fellow Masters Division competitors, THANK YOU! You ladies made this experience so much less stressful and so much more enjoyable with your compassion, love, and understanding. Even though medals and trophies separate us, we still stood together (or leaned on our wheeled walkers together) in support for one another. I can be almost 100% certain that this is not how all competitions go, so I am oh so thankful to have had this experience with you. Mel, Lisa, Kris, Tammy…youā€™ll be in my heart forever. Iā€™m so proud of each and every one of you for getting up there and putting your hearts and souls on display.
To Leesi and Sasha, for without you, I would be trying to pole on thin air, thank you for your generosity in allowing me to utilize your equipment and facilities to work out this performance. You are certainly my enablers in the best possible kind of way.
To Nina, for without you, there wouldnā€™t have even been this opportunity to perform. Thanks for holding it down for Colorado and giving competitors and those who wish to compete one day a place to do just that.
To Team Imperial Flyers, YOU GUYS!!! Thank you for coming out to the show! I loved seeing you there and I hope you had a blast. Nicky, Kristen, Violeta, and Alex, from the rig to the stage ā€“ HEP!
To the ladies of Boulder Spirals, much love. You guys are so supportive and you always have a smile and a hug for me no matter how long itā€™s been since Iā€™ve seen you, poled with you, or even chatted with you. Itā€™s with you ladies that I cut my pole teeth and for that, and for your love, Iā€™ll be forever grateful. Jaslee, Leslie, Daisy, Linda, Chrissy, everyone. Thank you. <3 To my Lā€™Ru Crew, well, Iā€™m not sure what to say outside of FUCK YEAH! For having my back. For yelling till youā€™re hoarse. For laughing with me in the studio when Iā€™m complaining about a move ripping off ass meat. For still loving me if I catch up to you in PDP on Monday nights. For accepting me for who I am, baked goods and all, lol. Joy, Alexis, Amber, Chelsie, Meg, (I know I am missing ladies and I am SORRY!!) but MAD LOVE to you guys! To ALL of the competitors, you all rocked! Thank you for sharing your vision and your talent. Thank you for your comraderie back stage. Ariel and Dave, Lauren, Nadia for being extra nice to someone you didnā€™t know. Meri and Sara, for just being you. šŸ˜€ To every single person that put two hands together or opened their mouth to cheer, thank you. There were some folks that knew me but I didnā€™t recognize in the excitement of the moment. For that, I apologize, but know that I am grateful. To the complete strangers who really got it, who got the energy, who felt pulled into the fun, this one was for you. Thank you for making me a winner! To my makeup guru, Holly (and her mom Tracy), a million thanks for helping me create the look I was going for. Great big expressive eyes to help tell my story. I do a lot of talking with my eyes and you certainly helped me to tell my story! Last, and certainly not least, Iā€™d like to thank my family. Thanks to my brother, Jesse. Thanks to April for coming out. A tremendous thank you to my mom for FLYING OUT to see all of these shenanigans. And thanks to my hubby, Jorge, for putting up with all of the time away from the house, the grumpiness, the aches and pains, and everything in general that comes with competition training. I really couldnā€™t have done it without your support. So, in the end, did I walk away with a trophy? Nope. But, did I walk away with a sense of accomplishment, a sense of satisfaction, a feeling that I shared my energy? Yes, I did. Did people tell me they were encouraged to try pole based on my performance? Yes. Did a husband ask me to try to coerce his wife into competing? Yes. While I may not have touched the judges, I moved the crowd, and to me, that is far more important. Thanks, CPC, it was a wild ride. image

Ā 

Happy July!

Happy Half New Year! What’?!?! That’s not a thing? Of course it is. I just made it one.
Well, then, Iā€™m certainly not going back to revisit my New Yearā€™s resolutions to see how well Iā€™m doing so far this year because we want to keep this positive today.

Positive things like how I was *this* close to passing my level in my pole class. If I would be a little more careful and not skip moves, I would have passed last night. Itā€™s quite enjoyable to me that these levels are pushing me. Theyā€™re pushing me to slow my dance a touch and theyā€™re pushing me to focus. Theyā€™re also pushing me to do moves that I usually wouldnā€™t. Mind, Iā€™m not saying moves that Iā€™m not ready for, just moves I donā€™t usually do. I mean, iguana mount has been in my repertoire, but I never used to sit up out of it. I was always scared of it until I did it the first time and found out that it isnā€™t so tough after all. Shoulder mount to brass monkey? Huh, no shit. Got it. And sitting up out of that brass monkey? I apparently have brass balls. Bow and arrow? Sure. Drop it to the floor? My feet, not my assā€¦itā€™s messy yet, but I can do it. I could possibly be scary if I trained. Well, and had better flexibility. These. Hips. Of. Miiiiiiiine. (Thatā€™s a Motown throwback for you young folks.)

On a totally different positive note, I am only a week and a half away from going back to where my love for Colorado started. Lovey and I are going to stock up on allergy meds and go walk the wildflowers of Crested Butte. Weā€™re even staying at Elevations, aka Club Med Crested Butte. One might say that Iā€™m super excited to go back. I mean, of course it would be doubly awesome if it were ski season, but Iā€™m hoping to get up there this coming season. Ex-GO reunion anyone? Canā€™t wait to see what sort of changes they made around the hotel! And food. Secret Stash? Yes. Bloody Mary at The Last Steep? HELL TO THE YES! I might even walk up to the old apartments and take those 77 steps that we all used to dread. Man! The memories from Crested. So many fun people, so many fun guests. Thatā€™s where I met Jo Dee Messina and Trick Pony (for the country music folk). I re-met people I had met in other villages. I met people that I would meet again in other villages. Site of my third (I think) concussion. Wow, theyā€™re just flooding in. Crested is the village that has no scars. I canā€™t say that nothing bad happened that season (concussion, hallway arguments, psycho boys), but all of the good certainly outweighed it. So, excited a bit? Yeah, maybe. J

Sidebar: Kick, Push by Lupe Fiasco. Go. Now. <3 Ok, this is 1 of 31. I feel good about making my goal of one post a day for July. Itā€™s much more feasible than a post every day for a year. I mean, come on, life really gets in the way. Sometimes I donā€™t have anything to say. And as if I donā€™t have enough stuff going on in July, hey, letā€™s try to make it through Camp NaNoWriMo too. I really have to get this damn book out. I suppose Iā€™m going to have to come to terms with my sworn enemy ā€“ the outline. Sorry, Mrs. C., I still canā€™t stand writing outlines. Iā€™m much more of a stream of consciousness writer. BUT, an outline is needed because thereā€™s so much that needs to happen in this one that I will probably get lost in it myself if I donā€™t do an outline. Itā€™s a good one. Interesting story (I think) with gratuitous sex scenes. Would you expect anything less, really? What a complicated relationship between five people. YES! Well, thatā€™s about it for today. Letā€™s meet up again tomorrow and chat. Same time, same place. See you then. Ā