How Many Lights Do You See?

Before I get to the lights, let me tell you a little story.

You see, it’s been quite some time since I have written anything and the thoughts and reasoning behind why I’m back will be after the story when I will try to tie this all together and probably end up with a ball of knots. Anywho, for reasons to be explained later, I’m back. Usually, when I fall off and then show back up, I change the look and feel of the blog. It gets me kinda excited about writing again, or at least about looking at this page. Off I go to WordPress.

I’m not really picky with what I want the site to look like since there’s all of maybe five of you reading it and I’m not quite concerned enough to go do some CSS work. Proceed to downloading! First theme I didn’t really care for since it didn’t want to embed videos and videos are often quite related to the point I’m trying to make. The second theme looked good. I installed it. My site died.

Now, not to the point where if you just went to the site, it gave you a pretty 404 or anything. The Internet taught me that I basically had the white screen of death. Broke-ded-ed. Shit. Ok, well, I’ll just go change the theme from my dashboard. Ohhhhhh, FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDDDDGE! But I didn’t say fudge. Because I’ve got the WSOD on my dashboard. I can’t access my site. Sad face.

Lucky me, y’all. I’m a bright star when I wanna be and I know how to use dem dere dubbyas. Also, lucky me that I remembered how to actually access my account where this madness is hosted. And I know basic stuff. And FTP-ing. Yeah. Fixed. And damn if I can remember the name of the theme that killed my site, but if I do, you better believe I’m gonna complain.

Moving right along….

It seems that, as of late, I’ve had some anger management issues. Ok, they’ve probably always been there, but I maybe have letting it slip out a little bit lately. Pretty sure that my attitude has been THERE ARE FOUR LIGHTS! complete with the ‘get off me’ arm shake. Because there were four lights. You were right, Captain. Four. Fucking. Lights. Unfortunately, the Enterprise isn’t coming to get me and being right isn’t getting me anywhere except straight to the land of frustration.

What’s changed? What’s changed? Still working for the man. Still working out. Still getting my ommmm on. Ohhhh, hey, remember back when you used to write all the time? When you published gems like this or led congregations like this? Remember when you were funny? Like, regular funny, not I’m laughing but man is that chick a bitch funny. Remember when you could turn your anger to funny? Remember when you could let go of shit? Let it literally flow through your fingers and into the webiverse? You gotta get back there. And that’s why I’m back again.

I probably won’t ever go into specifics about anything because it’s 2018 and this isn’t private, but I’m sure that I can get back to funny me. I can shake em off like Picard, but those Cardassians we’re shaking off, they’re all the frustrations of the Corporate Federation. BUT I’M STILL THE CAPTAIN OF THIS MOTHERFUCKING STARSHIP! On this ship, it’s still a motherfucking party. It’s like a mullet. Business when we’re on-screen, party when we’re off. Right, Number One?!?!

Aaaaanywho, it’s Monday and does anyone else get an obscene amount of junk email in their work inbox related to other jobs?!?! It’s total madness. Dear Spam Emailers, I don’t make decisions! Leave me alone. Ok, I do make decisions. I’m the Captain, after all. And I’m back.

 

Happy July!

Happy Half New Year! What’?!?! That’s not a thing? Of course it is. I just made it one.
Well, then, I’m certainly not going back to revisit my New Year’s resolutions to see how well I’m doing so far this year because we want to keep this positive today.

Positive things like how I was *this* close to passing my level in my pole class. If I would be a little more careful and not skip moves, I would have passed last night. It’s quite enjoyable to me that these levels are pushing me. They’re pushing me to slow my dance a touch and they’re pushing me to focus. They’re also pushing me to do moves that I usually wouldn’t. Mind, I’m not saying moves that I’m not ready for, just moves I don’t usually do. I mean, iguana mount has been in my repertoire, but I never used to sit up out of it. I was always scared of it until I did it the first time and found out that it isn’t so tough after all. Shoulder mount to brass monkey? Huh, no shit. Got it. And sitting up out of that brass monkey? I apparently have brass balls. Bow and arrow? Sure. Drop it to the floor? My feet, not my ass…it’s messy yet, but I can do it. I could possibly be scary if I trained. Well, and had better flexibility. These. Hips. Of. Miiiiiiiine. (That’s a Motown throwback for you young folks.)

On a totally different positive note, I am only a week and a half away from going back to where my love for Colorado started. Lovey and I are going to stock up on allergy meds and go walk the wildflowers of Crested Butte. We’re even staying at Elevations, aka Club Med Crested Butte. One might say that I’m super excited to go back. I mean, of course it would be doubly awesome if it were ski season, but I’m hoping to get up there this coming season. Ex-GO reunion anyone? Can’t wait to see what sort of changes they made around the hotel! And food. Secret Stash? Yes. Bloody Mary at The Last Steep? HELL TO THE YES! I might even walk up to the old apartments and take those 77 steps that we all used to dread. Man! The memories from Crested. So many fun people, so many fun guests. That’s where I met Jo Dee Messina and Trick Pony (for the country music folk). I re-met people I had met in other villages. I met people that I would meet again in other villages. Site of my third (I think) concussion. Wow, they’re just flooding in. Crested is the village that has no scars. I can’t say that nothing bad happened that season (concussion, hallway arguments, psycho boys), but all of the good certainly outweighed it. So, excited a bit? Yeah, maybe. J

Sidebar: Kick, Push by Lupe Fiasco. Go. Now. <3 Ok, this is 1 of 31. I feel good about making my goal of one post a day for July. It’s much more feasible than a post every day for a year. I mean, come on, life really gets in the way. Sometimes I don’t have anything to say. And as if I don’t have enough stuff going on in July, hey, let’s try to make it through Camp NaNoWriMo too. I really have to get this damn book out. I suppose I’m going to have to come to terms with my sworn enemy – the outline. Sorry, Mrs. C., I still can’t stand writing outlines. I’m much more of a stream of consciousness writer. BUT, an outline is needed because there’s so much that needs to happen in this one that I will probably get lost in it myself if I don’t do an outline. It’s a good one. Interesting story (I think) with gratuitous sex scenes. Would you expect anything less, really? What a complicated relationship between five people. YES! Well, that’s about it for today. Let’s meet up again tomorrow and chat. Same time, same place. See you then.  

The Tax Man

I’d say that we’re almost officially into tax season. I don’t know if it has an official start date,but if there were, I would guess that it’s January 31, the latest date by when employers are supposed to have all the tax forms out. This season is always interesting to me with people and their radically different filing ways. Always some wait till the very last day to files and some immediate files.

Sidebar: Pretty sure my parents were the wait till last day folks. I distinctly remember driving all the way to downtown Pittsburgh one year when I was young so that they could get their taxes in the mail before midnight. Course, could be my silly, muddled mind making things up, but pretty sure it isn’t.

I have always been a member of the file immediately group, except for last year when we had to pay (WTF). Cannot even begin to tell you how many times I’ve heard about changing my deductions and crap because I’m giving the government an interest-free loan. Gah! Yes, there is likely some truth in that, but there’s also truth in the fact that I probably wouldn’t tax myself and then give some of it back in February either.

We’re just so happy that we aren’t paying this year. That was a real kick in the teeth last year, but we made the proper adjustments and now we’re getting a refund greater than either of us had thought it would be. A fun little unexpected surprise that we’ll use for fun things like paying bills. Boring! Maybe we’ll have cool bonuses (boni? ha!) at work and can do something fun with that. Probably like pay more bills. No more credit card debt in 2014? Feasible if I keep the plastic hidden. It’ll also be a lot easier once we get past ski season because a random weekend trip to the mountains in the summer is a lot more affordable than a winter one. Gotta admit that we’ve gotten some super sweet deals this season though on lodging.

So, here we are, almost at the end of January. In my opinion, time, in 2014, has lost its everloving mind. Some days and weeks are flying by and some are taking their sweet time and the sweet time of the time in front of it. Time must be like a tiny ball of snow at the top of a mountain. In January, it just moves along, slowly gaining momentum, until POW! It’s a huge, killer ball of snow racing down the mountain at the speed of time and all of a sudden it’s Halloween/Thanksgiving/Christmas and 2014 is over. Yes, that’s exactly how it is.

It’s probably at about the end of January every year when, if I’ve made resolutions, I say to myself, “hey you, you shoulda done month to month goals instead of over the whole year goals,” and every new year I forget to do it that way. At almost 1/12th of the way through the year, I think I’m doing ok. I’ve definitely gotten words down in the blog daily. I’m working out and stretching (probably overstretching). PHP training has started although it’s on a bit of a hold until I finish up with the writer’s lab. Steps have also been taken to get good at an apparatus. I don’t know that it’ll stay FabPole throughout the year, but who knows. It’s a challenge. More of a challenge than saying I’ll get good at flying trapeze this year because I know I won’t, lol. Yeah, yeah, go across more, return to the bar, return to the board. Maybe. If I fly at all this year. *GASP!*

Well, folks, it’s about that time of the day where I go prep to get at it. While I’m gone, tell me,do you file right away or do you hop on my procrastination wagon? I mean, what else are we gonna talk about on a Tuesday?

Challenges and Blathering, aka Who Am I and Why Am I Here?

Hey there! Two days in and I’m still sticking with it!

Along with having these writing prompts for a year, Daily Post is also doing something they’re calling Zero to Hero: 30 Days to a Better Blog. I’m going to attempt to do this for January whilst still adding in the writing prompts and anything else that I might want to recall in the future. Nothing like piling it on, huh?

As you may have gathered from the title of the post, the challenge part of today is to do an introduction of yourself. I know that the three of you that actually read this already know me, but I should introduce myself to the masses of readers that I’m hoping to cultivate. The DP (ha!) provided some questions to answer, so I will answer those, but you should just know that I’m an off-the-cuff kinda chick with a super dry and sarcastic sense of humor. A lot of folks think I’m, well, not very nice, but those are the folks for whom my sense of humor goes right over their heads. I’m ok with that. I need smart humor in my life. Now on to those questions…

· Why are you blogging, rather than keeping a personal journal? – Well, it’s 2014. This *IS* my personal journal. It’s just that I’m sharing it with you all. I try to stay true to myself and therefore true to you. If I put it out there, I know it can come back at me, so like Popeye says, “I yams what I yams”, or something like that.

· What topics do you think you’ll write about? – What topics *won’t* I write about?!?! I’m really a stream of consciousness kind of writer, so I write about whatever I’m thinking about mainly. However, you’re likely to find me chatting about circus stuff, pole dancing, working out in general, music, books, and trying to make my work life a little better. Throw in some occasional jokes and silliness and you’ve gotten in my head.

· Who would you love to connect with via your blog? – Easy peasy. Any and everyone that finds what I write helpful or amusing. Someone who wants me to write for them professionally in my non-professional manner. Authors with tips on how to start/finish a book and then get it published. Aerialists with new moves. Readers with good books. You get the picture.

· If you blog successfully throughout 2014, what would you hope to have accomplished? – I’m a simple girl. I just want to get back into the habit of writing on a frequent basis. Perhaps daily writing will push out a daily short story that I could put in an anthology. Who knows? Aim high, right?

So there you go. That’s my “intro”. If you are truly new to the blog, please feel free to browse through and see what I’m about. It’s a lot of silliness.  If you’re not new, hi there. Thanks for stopping by again.

Before I go running off to do whatever it I do all day, let me touch on today’s writing prompt, as if I haven’t written enough for one day. Today’s topic is:  Have you ever made a New Year’s Resolution that you kept? Without searching through my blog archives, I would really have to say no on this. I know that I’ve wanted to do things like get a massage once a month (that lasted for 2 months), get better with my Spanish (that’s just sheer laziness not doing that one), and work out more. While I am fairly consistent with my working out, I probably am not consistent enough to consider it accomplishing a NYR. All in all, when I look back at this post in a year, I want to be able to say, “hey, I did pretty good this year!” Wish me luck as I wish you the same in your blogging/writing/achieving endeavors!

Happy New Year 2014

Well, here we are. Most of us, anyway. Those of us who were lucky enough to make it out of 2013 and into 2014. This is, of course, the day of resolutions and such. I’m gonna go to the gym, I’m gonna eat better, blah, blah, blah. We all hear these same things every year, whether it be out of our own mouths or out of the mouths of others. As such, once again, I’m not making “New Year’s Resolutions” per se. There are a couple of things that I’d like to accomplish this year, but I’m not going to beat myself up about them if I don’t. So here they are, my non NYRs:

  • I’m going to attempt to have ZERO zero-word days on the blog. Typically, this is pretty tough because I don’t always have something to talk about. Remedy for this? The Daily Post provided an ebook that has 365 writing prompts so I’ll always have something to talk about. Formatting could change, but I will likely start off daily with the provided topic then continue on with my rambling if there’s rambling for the day.
  • As perhaps you know, I’m a Beachbody junkie (P90X, P90X2, Hip Hop Abs, Insanity) and I just got P90X3 and T25. Just because I don’t like to start programs in the middle of the week, I’ll be starting P90X3 on Monday. If I can stick with it (I know I can, lol), I will do each program twice this year and I will look phenomenal at the end of the year.
  • I’ve got to do some more stretching. I am, after all, not getting any younger. And it also goes along with…
  • Really focus on getting good at something this year. I haven’t yet decided what the thing will be. Pole? FabPole? Fabric? (not likely…makes my hips scream after every drop) Dance trap? I don’t know. One of those. One of something else. Something.
  • I may also work on something professionally. You’d think those priorities would be the other way around. But I’ve always been ass-backwards. SharePoint anyone?
  • Read! I want to read more. Perhaps I’ll actually use my GoodReads account this year? I read a lot of crappy books this year, I just didn’t put them in there. I need to expand my book horizons.

I’m sure that I don’t need to put any more unnecessary pressure on myself here.  So with that, let’s talk about today’s writing prompt: Stroke of Midnight – Where were you last night when 2013 turned into 2014? Is that where you’d wanted to be?

This one is easy. Boring, but easy. I was watching the oh, so interesting movie that was showing on the backs of my eyelids from the comfort of my pillowtop bed and Sleep Number pillow. New Year’s Eve hasn’t been a big deal for me almost ever. I can remember two specific times when I went out to a party. One was the suck and one was hysterical. However, I’m not interested in having drinks spilled on me or coming home smelling like a dirty ashtray. I’m also not interested in DUI checkpoints and the people who escape them and cause crashes. As such, I was safe, comfortable, and 2014 looked the same at 8am as it did at 12:01am, I’m sure.

Let’s see how long it takes me to fall off the wagon. It isn’t pessimism. I know me. Have for 40 years. Happy New Year to you and yours. I hope that 2014 brings you everything you’re looking for.

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