Shyne

The Journey #4 – Ain’t Cryin For Shit

Ooooh, boy does this song take me back. Hi Mario! Yeah, so there’s a small group of people who are going to get this song and unless I tag them on FB, they aren’t gonna even see this. BUT that doesn’t mean that this song doesn’t STAY in rotation on Spotify.

Back in the days of drinking. A lot. Like starting my shift at work with a mind eraser (straw version, hi Tania!)Like drinking all through the shift because trying to deal with a bunch of drunk people while you’re stone cold sober will have you punching people and losing your job. Like finishing your shift and going to the next bar and slamming down cheeseburgers like your life depended on it, lol.

Anywho, back in those days when everyone is pretty liquored up (Club Med, ya heard) after the main bar closed, off we headed to the after-bar bar. Of course, everyone is on a certain high and no one wants to bring that down just yet. Without fail, we would put this song on so Mario could rap it. But the first part is so slow and people would start to get mad. Complaining like we were at a high school dance all of a sudden. People knew me as the keeper of the booze so if I gave them a side eye, they piped down and right about then Mario busts it loose. Good times. Sharkies forever.

This is unrelated to anything but the 90s RnB is just HITTING today! Go look up DJ Cassidy and his Pass the Mic stuff. It’s great.

Ok, let me get into the update. MOOOOOOOOOD! Today, I’m feeling like I did a couple bumps after Shakeology. In this particular case, I’m not blindly making that comparison, lol.

I’m no angel. I’ve tried my fair share of illegal drugs. Starting with the black beauty I found in the couch as a kid (LOL I will never not tell that story, mom) I’ve seen the things. Cocaine is the ONLY drug I tried that I could 100% understand why people got addicted to it. Like why they wanted to go back and wanted to go back so badly. I did it twice in the span of a couple days and never again. Thinking back on that particular not wise decision will be enough. Besides, I’m obviously getting my crazy energy out of the Shakeology. Totally legal.

That actually takes care of both mood and energy. Still no weird cravings. What I am finding (again) is that I really gotta fuel myself better. I don’t have cravings, I’m just flat out hungry so it’s time to get back into making sure that I’m having my snacks. The first time I heard someone say I needed to eat 5 times a day, I thought they were out of their damn minds. This particular workout program is working me hard and I know because I am hungry. Breakfast, shake, lunch, snack, dinner, and then maybe some chocolate milk before bed. All the food. All the calories. Yes and yum. Gotta fuel the beast!

Ok, look. No one wants to talk about poop. Except me sometimes, lol. It’s just poop. We all do it. If you don’t, see a doctor. I spent a larger part of the day than I wanted to yesterday feeling like I had to poop. Every time I went in there, though, I got nothing but maybe a fart. That’s not to say I didn’t have my morning constitutional…twice. But then I just felt like I needed more. Then this morning poop acted like it needed a fucking written invitation. GTFOH you literal piece of shit!

Yeah, that’s probably a good place to end this today. You’ve had enough. But come back tomorrow because it’s Friday and the Reverend may be in rare form.

Bye, Norma!

Gasp and clutch your pearls! Did she just say that the great Marilyn Monroe could get the hell on?!? Damn right I did. So what? She ain’t/wasn’t perfect. *cough* JFK *cough *a bunch of other dudes* But this song for sure, she is wrong about.

I’m not a big jewelry hound. I’m not saying I don’t have any jewelry, because I do, I just don’t really wear it. I did wear it daily when I was going to work in an office, but now, I work remotely and hubby isn’t really interested in cute outfits with matching jewelry (not that anyone in the office was either, but I had standards to keep). So, yep, I put my wedding ring on if I’m going out somewhere, but other than that, my earrings/bracelets/rings/necklaces are just chilling in my jewelry box(es).

BUT, you know what is/are my best friend? SOCKS!! I have sock problems. No show, ankle, crew, knee, and thigh-high I have them all. Socks for sliding around the house, socks for sliding around the studio, and compression socks for working out. I LOVE SOCKS! I have stripes and checks, dots, hearts, and puzzle pieces. There are Batman, bacon, and Namaste as Fuck socks. Like I said, I have a sock problem. I’m ok with it though. Hubby enables me. When you’re married to me, it’s 1000% acceptable to give socks as a gift. Ain’t he lucky?

Let’s pop into the journey, shall we? Don’t stop believing.

Today in the shake, I learned a valuable lesson. I need to go ahead and puree my blackberries and strain them because I spent WAY too much time spitting out seeds while trying to drink my shake. *facepalm* However, having the right amount of fluid in it made it, again, something I didn’t hate. I wouldn’t say that I’m a picky eater, but I would go out on a limb and say that I have a refined palate. Thanks, Club Med! Introducing me to world foods. Texture is almost more important than taste in some cases. I’m weird. Know what’s great? The texture of a kiwi. I love the sandiness of it. See? Weird.

Anyway, nothing has changed with my mood or energy. I did have a brief moment of extra tired last night before it was time to actually be tired, but it passed pretty quickly. I’ve been sleeping like a champ. Solid 6.5 hours, pushing 7 over the last two weeks. The last two nights, the ole Fitbit said my sleep was excellent. We’ll see if that streak holds. I’ve never really had sleep issues, but high sleep scores are fun to see. I remain my same slightly grumpy at the world but generally pleasant self.

Still pooping. I think that the shake may send me to the land of two poops a day. I can deal with that being at home. Besides, we’re all walking around with like 5 pounds of shit in our colons (or so they say. Who knows if it’s true. Do you get an ultrasound of a colon? Can’t be an x-ray. MRI doesn’t really make sense. I digress. Not important. But what is important and kinda going along with the poop is drinking all of this water. First two days I had to pee just under a million times. Fortunately, the bathroom is right next to my office and my office is in my house and nobody cares how many times I pee. But if you’re at home often, this is the perfect time to up that water intake. Cuz you’re probably dehydrated.

Well, since my router died and now I gotta use data…peace!

The Journey: Day 2

Heeeeeey there! Welcome back. When we last left our heroine, she was setting about her day of doing IT stuff and stuff. As we’ve returned today, she’s doing the same thing! Imagine that. It isn’t always interesting, but it pays the bills and the people are nicer than Bob Ross and Mr. Rogers put together.

Let’s jump right into it. Today’s workout is done. Truthfully, something has to be really wrong where I don’t work out. Like an extreme amount of physical pain. I will work out through headaches and cramps and usually feel much better after in both cases, so a little bit of pain doesn’t stop the train. It wasn’t as sweaty as yesterday, but I know I still put in work. This is a whole new concept in working out, for me, anyway. It’s the way I wish I had always known or been taught to work out. Functional fitness is just everything that I need.

One of the things (a pair of things) that I am using to determine how my flexibility, strength, and mobility are changing is squats. The other is side lunges. Neither of these things is a strong point for me, however, I am certainly seeing some progress. Where I never could before, I can now sit all the way down in malasana AND I can stand back up without having to tip forward and use my arms. My squats have been shit for a long time, but I’m finally getting to a point of getting parallel to the floor without issue. Baby steps, ya know? Those side lunges? Hated them. Still do, but now a little less. Glute meds are opening up and I’ve gotta be breaking up some scar tissue around my hip.

I know you’ve been dying to hear about today’s shake. Well, wait no longer! It was, dare I say, tasty? First off, even though the instructions say use 8 to 12 ounces of water/milk, I didn’t do that yesterday. Then my shake was thick and gross and so whey forward that I scooped it like melted ice cream (but it wasn’t quite that satisfying). Today, I wised up and actually followed the instructions and whaddya know, not too bad. Now, truly, can you ever go wrong with the combination of peaches and crystallized ginger? I think not. Calling the shake a win today. The right amount of liquid plus fruit plus spice equals a tasty drink.

As I mentioned yesterday, mood and cravings are on the tracker. Again, not feeling really any different as far as mood. I have thought of something to be consciously aware of as far as mood goes, though, so I’ll keep an eye on that. No, I’m not telling you here because you don’t need to know every damn thing about my life. I mean, seriously. But seriously seriously, there are like 4 people reading this, so I could tell you where I buried all the bodies and no one would be the wiser.

DISCLAIMER: I HAVE NOT HIDDEN ANY BODIES ANYWHERE!! OMG

While the shake is supposed to curb cravings, last night I wanted something sweet from out of nowhere. We didn’t have anything so I didn’t eat anything, but I thought that was something of note. It wasn’t a level 10 get me cake or die craving, more like a level 2 passing thought of some cake would be nice. I can handle that.

ENERGIA!! (That is only funny if we worked together in Ixtapa…boobies boobies) Yup, plenty of energy. Possibly too much. It wasn’t the best night of sleep, but I’m going to go ahead and blame that on the storms that rolled in and stuck around a while. Somewhere in the middle of the night, there was thunder so loud it woke both of us up. Now, to wake Lovey up doesn’t take much, but I sleep through everything. Not that thunder. I wake up with plenty of energy and the levels stay high throughout the day unless I smoke my face off. Then I’ll be a little tired before 9, lol. But I’ll also be uber-relaxed. You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and there you have us smoking weed on the couch. (Legally. If you’re so uptight. I have a medical card for my state.)

What’s left? Everyone’s favorite topic! Poop! I’m such a good pooper. That’s what I thought until this morning when I went to the well and the well didn’t produce much. Huh. Oh well. HAHA. Sometimes it just takes a workout to get things moving and move they did so again I’ll check the box for regularity. Smooth.

Legit other things happen in my life and maybe one day I’ll get back to writing about those too. Who knows. But until tomorrow, drink your water, say your prayers, know your role and SHUT YOUR MOUTH! Jabroni.

The Journey Begins

Well hey there reading friends. How ya been? I know that I go and leave you all alone with no warning after I get you into a habit of checking what silly shit fell outta my brain on any given day, and for that, I apologize. Will I do it again? Oh, 100%. But that’s simply how I roll so round off your edges and just roll along with me.

What’s with the 30 days, you might ask? Well, for as long as I’ve been doing these Beachbody workouts, I’ve always heard about Shakeology. I did try it twice before and it wasn’t my jam. BUT, for the sake of research and actually seeing if it makes a difference in me personally, I decided to suck it up and try to have one of these shakes every day for a month. I’m going to make my best effort to blog about it daily, although it’s highly likely that Sundays will be a rest day for writing the same as they are for working out.

Maybe you know, maybe you don’t that there are several different flavors of Shakeology. I tried four of them and decided that vanilla would be my best bet for this trial. While chocolate seems to have more recipes, I’m not the biggest fan of chocolate and fruit seemed like it would go better with vanilla. In that vein, I stocked up on my frozen fruit. For the beginning of the challenge, I have strawberries, blackberries, mango, banana, and peaches. I think that fruit can always use a little spicing up, so for that there’s the always available cinnamon, honey, and some crystallized ginger.

I started the week with just strawberries. It isn’t that the shake has a bad flavor. It is, however, pretty whey forward. Which leads me to wonder if I should try the vegan one since it’s made differently, but I digress. I feel fairly certain (no I didn’t read the label) that there isn’t caffeine in this, per se, but there is definitely something in there that gives me a somewhat caffeinated feeling. It’s made with Madagascar vanilla but I feel like it could still use more. Mmmm, might have to get some Mexican vanilla extract, ooh look a squirrel! Anyways, day 1 shake has been consumed.

When you get an order of Shakeology, you get a tracker to see how you’re feeling over the course of the month. They touch on four topics: energy, cravings, mood, regularity. Over the course of the next 29 days, I’ll keep track of those four things plus trying to make sure I get 64 ounces of water a day. Yes, I’m legit gonna talk about pooping. Hooray!

The first one here, energy, is going to be interesting. Why? I don’t usually have energy drains. I have a schedule and my body is pretty accustomed to it. We get up at 5:30 and we’re back in the bed by 10. Sleep is key. Like I said, I feel as though there is something energizing in the shake, how much it affects me remains to be seen.

Next up is cravings. Again, kind of a weird spot for me. I’ve trained my body and mind to know that we know what we’re gonna eat and when we’re gonna eat it. I’m not someone who has a sweet tooth – I am really picky about my sweets. I will admit to having cravings for steak about once a month. You go ahead and do that math. That’s actually calmed down also now that I’m on my iron pills.

MWAHAHAHAHAHA MOOOOOOOOOD! If we were at two years ago, if we were at 4 years ago, my mood would, without a doubt, be something I needed to take a look at. However, current day, I work from home so no traffic and no germy office. I don’t have to be concerned with what I wear to work. I can step outside for fresh air any and every time I feel like it. If I need a day off, I can take it and no one is an asshole about it. If I’m simply not feeling well, they say go lay down. It’s kinda like working for family (with that every now and then annoying cousin popping in). Perhaps the hubby should be the better monitor of my moods, lol.

SHIT! Hahahahahaha, oh yes, I’m a child. 30 days of hearing about my poop. Are you not excited?!?! For the sake of the science, I’m a one-a-day’er mostly. Right about 5:45 before I can work out, lol. Every now and then, I’ll catch a second visit to the porcelain lair if I’ve had a particularly strong coffee. But yeah, I’m pretty regular.

All of those things, we’ll see how they go, but the most important ones for me are the scale numbers. Pounds and percents. Today I’m at 137.6 and 27.8. I would love to see some magic at the end of this 30 days. I’m going to be eating well (that doesn’t change), drinking lots of water, exercising my ass off (nope, exercising one ON), and having these shakes. My first goals are 130 and 26. (Next goal is to stay there) I invite you to read along, ask questions, or maybe even join in? Until we meet again….

ROCO Friday – The Dumbest

Good morning, congregation! The Rev. SteelerShyner greets you with a hearty ROCO! It is indeed Friday, and thusly we celebrate the day with our cocks out whether they be literal or figurative. For verily, thou hast made it through another week. And whether that week was full of work or just full of shit, you conquered it nonetheless. ROCO!

Dearest congregation, as is the norm, we have two very different topics today. Let me start by asking you – what is the dumbest thing that you have ever done? I have a laundry list of stupidity. I’ve done some things that could have gotten me seriously injured or killed (looking back at them – I didn’t think that then).

Of course, as kids, we jumped out out or off of things into or onto other things that we thought would magically cushion our falls and somehow always did. I grew up country so I had my share of ATV incidents. I’ve walked across the outside of a train trestle (not really a big one but in this case I don’t know what else to call it). I’ve escaped some frostbite. I’ve gotten in cars with people who shouldn’t have been driving. I’ve gotten into cars with COMPLETE STRANGERS and driven DISTANCE and lived to tell about it. Crashed my own car once where I thought things were gonna be over. Walked around foreign countries alone (where you don’t speak the language)? Yep. Gotten drugged in one of those foreign countries? Yep. Walked around NYC as a 19-year-old female late at night alone? Sure, why not? Mild electrocution? A couple times. Dated (and almost married two) a bunch of fucking idiots. (Not you, J) So, suffice it to say, I’ve done my fair share of dumb shit.

Today, friends, I came to the realization that I topped the charts in stupidity. I made this grave realization when I wanted to pay for breakfast this morning. I realized that I didn’t know where my ATM card was. Shit. Fortunately, I had other ways to pay and breakfast was still obtained, but SHIT! Where’s my ATM card?!?!

As I started to backtrack my life, I came to a stunning realization. One, I don’t leave the house very often, and two, I THREW AWAY MY FUCKING ATM CARD! How, praytell, did you do that, smart one? Welp. It all started when I needed to pick up my prescription from CVS. I didn’t want to get out of the car so I went through the drive-thru. If you’ve never been through their drive-thru, you send your payment method through their zoomie and they put your payment method (if it’s a card) back in the bag with your prescription and send it back through the zoomie. Well, I got home and not thinking about it, I put my pill bottle where it belonged and THREW AWAY THE BAG. Fuck. I didn’t even realize I did it (that was on Tuesday) until today. Card canceled, no harm no foul. But damn. That was some stupid shit. I think I’ll go in from now on.

Now that the mystery has been solved, I can move on with my day. I promised you two topics and here comes the second one. My desk is an absolute disaster area. Truth be told, I have too much space for too much shit (actually I just don’t have enough space to properly space out my shit so it doesn’t look/feel cluttered) and sometimes I may just let things pile up. Well, this morning, I had enough so I decided I needed to straighten it up a bit. (Full disclosure, sometimes you can see my desk in my pole videos and I’m not trying to have that.)

As a former administrative assistant, former server, former bartender, and former restaurant manager, I feel some sorta way about office supplies. Like, I love them. I can never have enough of them. If I were a hoarder, it would be office supplies and books. I know I’m not alone. I love notebooks. Cracking a fresh one open. Having different ones in different shapes and colors for different things (that I don’t do). Mmmmm, yes. And writing utensils? GTFOH. Just gimme all of them. So here’s the desk straightening tally:

  • Calendars/planners: 3
  • Other notebooks: 6
  • Calligraphy pen: 1
  • Highlighters/markers: 20
  • Stick eraser: 1
  • Mechanical pencil: 1
  • Colored pens: 13
  • Erasable colored pens: 8
  • Regular black/blue pens: 15
  • Colored pencils: 60
  • Art pens (glitter and shit): 120

Quite obviously I have some issues but I don’t think I’m ready to address them just yet. Just know that I’ll always be prepared to take notes and get that receipt.

Well, the rest of the things I need to do today ain’t gonna do themselves, so I’m off to do it. ROCO y’all and have a great weekend!

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