Shyne

Eleven Twelfths

You are the reason I’ve been waiting all these years. Somebody holds the key. Yeah.

As we come to the end of another freaking year (seriously, how the hell did this happen?!?!) and I enter my 48th year on this wacky rock, I’m figuring out who the you and the somebody is. Spoiler alert: they’re both me.

Huh? Yeah. I’m the reason that I procrastinate. I’m the reason I’ve been waiting all of these years/months/days/hours/minutes to do ‘that thing’ that I’ve been meaning to do. I hold the key. I have the time. I’ve just been lazy. Or perhaps lazy is extreme. I’ve been floating without direction is probably more accurate.

Every year, or close to, I talk about what I’m going to do in the next year. I have taken New Year’s Resolutions out of my world and replaced them with New Day Resolutions. I simply stopped remembering this concept and let myself slip and slide down the hill to mediocrity and below. It took way too long, but I finally realized what the hell I was doing to myself and dragged my ass out of that darkness.

Not an easy task, ok? I hate this time of year. From November 1 through January 1 could literally be removed from the calendar and I would be cool with that. It’s even taking my birthday off the calendar. I’m cool. I’m not sure when it was that I went from ‘Yay Christmas’ to ‘oh, ok, Christmas’ to ‘FFS is it over yet?!?!’ but that last one is where I am. Not the most fun when it’s your other half’s favorite holiday. But, I deal. And then I can go back into my dark, hermit cave to recuperate from this mess that is the holiday season.

This year, I’m doing something that I’ve never done before – taking the last week of the year off of work. I’ve had the capability to do this for well over ten years now, but for whatever reason, I just never did. We’ll see how it goes, but having that whole week to set up my routines, get my planner all pretty, get everything in its place to start 2022 strong (really hoping to get some of these things implemented in December so I can cement them into place in January) and kick ass the whole way through. Yeah! Go me!

Something I’ve been asked a million times and I’ve never had an answer for (and still don’t) is “What is your why?” I hate this question. Partially because I think it’s just a stupid question and partially because I don’t have an answer. I suppose it would be neat to have that all wrapped up in a nice package, no? Some people do and can rattle off that answer no problem. Me? Uhhhhhhh, *shoulder shrug*. Is this really the end-all and be-all of life? Some of us are quite happy with just floating through, helping where we can, throwing in a laugh here and there. What’s wrong with that? Guess it depends who you ask.

I thought that this question was really geared more towards sales because that’s where it was pounded into me. Twice. (That’s what she said) First time, I made up an answer because I had to have one. I might also have been on or near my period so any and everything that was said got taken to heart with some tears. I coulda won an Academy Award then. The second time, I just didn’t answer it. Why lie, right? I don’t have this deep down desire to fix or rule the world because I know I’ll do neither. There isn’t some grand achievement that I’m striving for. I’m just living. Minute by minute, hour by hour. Why? So I can eat and keep a roof over my head. So I can pick up a toy or two and not worry about being broke afterwards. So is my why comfort? Could be. Seems selfish, but so am I.

Looks like I’m headed into December ’21 and all of ’22 on my usual bullshit with some extra corn on the side lol. The usual bullshit = work, exercise, pole dance. Extra corn = more fans/fabpole/handstands/poi/leviwand plus aerial silks, tarot and crystals. Still running my own personal PT with all the tools (and I found a video to reset my SI joint on my own and it is LIFE CHANGING!, nothing personal Dr. Z, I’ll still see you) and pushing to see if I can find the physique I had 10 years ago. A whole entire cob = finding that new house. Fingers crossed, y’all! I gotta go get on my shit!

Journey #24 –

There is a reason that I should be writing things down as I think of them or making some sort of audio note of said things. That reason is I freaking forget them. Case in point, I had a topic for a blog yesterday in the later afternoon, but of course, by this point the next day, I’ve forgotten what the topic was. Really sucks, because I thought it was a good one, but apparently not good enough to remember. *shrugs*

I’m at day 24 of the shakes. I’m going to say I’m actually on day 22 because there have been two days where I did not have a shake. That’s not too bad. I’m still not feeling any adverse reactions. I’m not expecting to, but stating that there aren’t any.


Body is still doing its regular things of slim down/bloat/slim down. Menopause is the only thing that’s gonna make that stop and it will come with its own whole new boat of issues. Mood remains level even through pre-, D-, and post-MS. (yes, moods for pre, during, and post period)


It’s 3pm now. That sums up the day. It’s been research-heavy all day and my eyes may fall out of my head soon. Of course that’s an exaggeration. I hope. But I’ll tell you that I’ve seen enough error logs for today.


Talk of these logs is once again proving that I have some sort of education ADD. I have a folder of bookmarks for education. On the list of things I want to learn: WordPress, leviwand, hula hooping, rollerskating, silk fans, and FabPole.

Each of them has the ability to hold my attention for mere moments. Ugh! This is why I have a meditation practice (I’m trying to) in the mornings. Get focused and get on with the day. I’m finding that I may need a second session around mid-day to get re-centered.

I still have a few things to knock out for work and for play. Hopefully at some point I’ll remember what I wanted to write about yesterday and get it done. Til then.

Journey 22 – WHY?!?!

I cannot begin to tell you how much I despise someone asking me this question. I had made it over 40 years of my life before this question started invading.


I’ve done a lot of things for work in my years from offices to outdoors. I’ve taken pretty much all the personality/what color is your personality/number/sign test that there is. For the most part, even if I were only basing my vision on those things, I know who I am.


The big difference between those times and question times is who was signing my check. That someone was always someone else. I had never been an entrepreneur. I didn’t see myself as that when I was a real estate agent either, which is why it turned out to not be my thing.


Here I am again in a position where personal development comes into play. I am once again immersed in reading and I am once again reading the same things. This question is the basis of so much personal development. It might be THE basis.


What is your why?


So look. I’ve never thought about this before I was in real estate. Why? I don’t know. I suppose it never came up. But once it did, it’s everywhere. And yes, there’s a term for that and I read it recently but I can’t remember the name. It’s the same as when you buy a car and then you see everyone has it.


Anyway, when I was in real estate, I was on the spot to come up with my why so I invented one. I mean, why did I want to sell houses? To make money. Duh. But there had to be some grand reason in order for my why to be valid. And that’s why I hate this question.


“People” will be so quick to tell you that your reason isn’t enough, that there has to be more. There doesn’t. Yes, I’m giving the finger to a lot of personal development there, but everything doesn’t have a reason. “Why not?” is a valid reason in my book.


I fully understand that my lack of a why keeps me from knowing my true purpose. I would like to know why the fuck I’m floating around here. I’d love to believe that I have some grand purpose in this life and I haven’t found it yet.
Who’s to say that I’m not on my path? What if my purpose here is to help the people I’ve helped? Yes, there will be more people to help in the future and I’m here for it. What if I am supposed to walk the path I’m walking (which may not seem interesting) so that I am able to cross paths with the people I am supposed to help?


I will have to think about this further. Not knowing isn’t the best. Not having interest is worse. I’m trying to not lose interest. So I try to do fun things on my path, whatever that may be. It actually isn’t even a path. It’s more like some trampled down grass that you can see if you look hard. At the next clearing, I’m throwing down dance challenges because I want people I know to have fun and be healthy.


I don’t feel like I know what my why is. I may never have some clear cut vision of it. I’m ok with that. I’m going to keep setting my little goals for myself and helping whoever is along the way.


PS. I know I promised you something last week. I haven’t forgotten. I had a tough time coming up with a subject, but I’ve got one and I’ll share it this week.

Journey 17 – T Sizzle

Nope. No way. Uh uh. There is nothing to do with that football player here. GTFOH. In this case, the T is for TFL. We can also say it’s for tushie. What the hell am I talking about? I’m talking about a 3am wakeup call that sends painful tingles down your leg. And you might think you can walk it off, but first you’ve got to struggle to just get out of the bed….all while doing your best not to grunt and wake your hubby. Yay.

Luckily, I have some of the tools to fix myself in the home arsenal. Massage wands, percussion massager, inversion table, pretty much all of the RadRoller stuff, and other stretching tools, but I’m still lacking the mother of them all. It’s a little tool I like to call the sander. Why? Because it looks like something you would sand a floor with. Hell, it might actually be the same tool. Waking up in pain was pretty much the straw that broke the camel’s back and it’s getting ordered today.

In the meantime, I managed to punch the muscles into submission with the percussion massager until I could get to the chiropractor today. But even before that, it was (oh so thankfully) mobility and stability day. I didn’t think I was going to be able to get through it and the first round was really rough, but by the third and final round, I started thinking that I didn’t even need to go to the chiropractor. That thinking is incorrect, but I still thought it.

So yes, first thing off I went. I always get the standard neck and back stuff but today I asked for and received the sander because pretty much my whole left side was in spasm. He had to release all of those muscles before he could put things back into place. Imagine it. Muscles are freaking out so badly that they’re pulling bones out of place. Cut it out!

In addition to the regular stuff, I request what I like to think of as the 10-point tuneup. That involves the ankles, knees, hips, elbows, and shoulders. I guess I’d been ignoring my check engine light for too long as I was 80% out of alignment in my tuneup. But lemme tell you something: once everything got put back into place, it was like an instant head rush/high/ With everything back into its optimal position, I felt like a million bucks!

I guess the moral of the story here is to take care of your body, folks. It can do some magical shit if you treat it right. I’m treating it right with these shakes. At the halfway point of month one, I think it’s cleared the extra poop out of the ole colon. I’d really like to see if/how it’s changed my bloodwork in a month, BUT I even more really don’t want to visit the vampires. As such, I’m gonna just have to go by feeling and looking. Looking good, Billy Ray!

Nothing new to report on the shake touchpoints. Rolling along at an even keel for everything. So with that, I’ll take my leave. Just a reminder that tomorrow is Thirsty Thursday and no one has sent me any messages. I’m gonna have to go into my own damn bank. Fine. See you then.

Journey 16 – CIZE It Up

Yeah, so already I know that today’s post is simply going to be all over the place. This is one of those days where I didn’t really have a topic in mind to write about, which made it harder to pick a video header (that I don’t need but damn if I’m gonna write without one) which sent me down the YouTube rabbit hole. But I’m back and I’m ready to blather on about nothing in particular.

In the odd event that you’re wondering about that title, CIZE is a workout program from Shaun T. He uses this song at the end of the program and boy lemme tell you, even though I’ve done it numerous times, I always get the feels when I dance along with this one. I know not all of you will get that, but if you’ve been a choreographer, have put together a little ditty, or even just love dance, I think you do.

OMG, I simply cannot today. So, Shakeology, I had you today and you are not fixing my mooooooood. What’s up with that? I’m not even gonna blame it on that though. I knew when I looked in the mirror and it was confirmed when I stepped on the scale that I’m ovulating and so all rules are totally out the window. Eat what I want and be cranky all I want. LOL, doesn’t bode well for class tonight. Pushups until I’m tired!

Speaking of being tired, I feel that I am getting appropriately tired at the appropriate times. I do wish that I could consistently stay asleep for a little longer than I am. Part of this comes with having to pee but part comes with my constant struggle of opening these hips and probably breaking up a decade or more of scar tissue in there. The other day I literally heard and felt a pop that felt like it freed up at least a year of oppression.

Every post doesn’t have to be a book and today it’s just going to be a note. I’m going to do a Pants (Size) Off Dance Off challenge next month (in addition to the bike rides because I’m crazy like that) based on dancy things from Shaun T. If by some chance you’re reading this and you want in on it, best to go follow me on IG. In the meantime, I’m out!

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