That video right there? I’ve never even watched the whole thing. I’ve never heard the entire song. I’ve simply seen some pretty funny fail videos set to it. Also, it’s the sort of thing I like to yell at random times. TURN DOWN FOR WHAT?!?!

Geez, I just looked at the “lyrics” to the song. Typical Lil’ Jon minus the what, yeah, and ok. Literally, it’s repeating the phrase over and over. I bet it’s great for an entrance though with a music mashup behind it.

Two weeks ago (2 weeks already?!?!), I shared the news of getting into the Colorado Pole Championship. Now I’m on this countdown. 43 (Troy!) days of choreography and training and possible new moves remain. I will then have two weeks to polish said choreography before a rest day of picking up my mom from the airport and having more chicken. Because chicken. It’s what’s for dinner. Almost every day. And quinoa. And black beans. Some days, a girl just wants a cheeseburger, ya know? And some days, this girl has a cheeseburger. Because, hey, competition isn’t the end of the world and I like food. I just try not to look like I like food as much as I do.

And how does one do that? Well, for me, this morning, after a night of sleeping like absolute crap because my shoulders are sore as are my legs, 5am rolled around much too quickly. I was ultra-groggy and I didn’t want to get up. However, since the alarm went off and Lovey woke up to wake me up, guilt gets me out of bed. So there I was, half awake and wanting nothing more than to crawl back into bed. Instead, I took it downstairs one level. I went into my thinking room to talk myself into moving. The conversation I had with myself went a little something like this:

Me: I’m tired. I don’t want to work out.

Me: Do you think other people aren’t tired? I bet they still get up and work out.

Me: It’s only Tuesday, I have three more days to work out.

Me: It’s. Only. Tuesday! Don’t be lazy so early in the week.

Me: I’m sore.

Me: Do you think that other people aren’t sore? They’re still gonna get up and train and then they’re gonna beat you.

Me: Fine.

And so, I went down one more level and had a little talk with Shaun T, and by talk I mean sweat-fest. Because I’m a glutton for punishment, after I was done fighting it out with Shaun, I took on Tony Horton. Thank goodness for 30 minute workouts. How else would I jam all this into the morning, right? But wait, there’s more! Finishing out the holy trinity of sweat and pain is Kristina N who pushes me to stretch for that split – and backbends when I don’t spend so much time trying to talk myself into working out. There’s Zumba on Tuesdays too. I think all I do any more is sweat. Huzzah!

Obsess much? Yeah, I do. And I’m not even full-on yet. I think that poor Lovey may shoot me before this is through. If he can catch me at home, that is. At least it’s only once.

Since we all (most of us) know that abs are made in the kitchen and not in the gym, I’ve been trying to keep an eye on my food intake. Making sure that I’m getting enough calories (I usually am at least 100 short for the day.) and trying to get to some magic formula that will keep me awake and able to work out but won’t pack on fat pounds (muscle pounds are fine) and will slim me out a bit…for that day. The rest of the days, I don’t really care if I look thin. With so much conflicting info out there, it’s tough to determine the right numbers for me personally and I’m not even thinking about paying a nutritionist. My best guesstimate from all that I’ve read is that I should keep chugging down the water which I’m getting better at, ramp up the protein just a touch, perhaps a tad more fiber (mmmm, Metamucil), and somehow, less carbs even though I realize that they are fuel. Perhaps I just need different ones.

Wow, what a ramble! I guess this is going to turn into my competition diary, so don’t expect much else in the way of posts for a little while. But keep on coming back if you’re interested in that sort of thing. I’m sure I’ll have something funny to say about myself most days. Until tomorrow, keep putting one foot in front of the other. It’s all we can do.

By Shyne

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