Rectus Femoris? I Damn Near Killed It

This muscle is currently the bane of my existence. I won’t make you go look it up – let’s call it high, outer quad and then we all know what I’m talking about. I’ve been stretching and foam rolling this M-F-er and it just refuses to give in! I’m fairly certain that this muscle alone is the reason I get up from my desk like a neanderthal. It also makes my knee hurt. The human body is freaking amazing how it’s all interconnected (and sometimes all in pain). And no, I’m not a doctor, but I play one in my head by using my fun phone apps like Learn Muscles and Trigger Points. Oh, and I can’t forget WebMd – the preferred tool of hypochondriacs nationwide.

Did you know that the universe is a dick sometimes? For example, I have my list of things that I want to get done and I’m working diligently on them, and then along comes the universe and says, “Hey! What about THIS?!?!” as it dangles the most delicious looking creme brulee I’ve ever seen in front of my face. Why, universe, why? Today’s dessert comes in the form of a writing lab. I know it will be helpful and time well spent, but the question is, where will I find the time? Scheduling my free time isn’t my strongest suit. It’s why I write in the morning rather than waiting till the evening, weekends excepted. After I get home from work, I just want to decompress and not use my brain. But, and pardon me while I have a revelation here, I need to exercise my brain the same as I exercise my body. There ya go, genius. That’s how you get it done. Ok, writing lab is on the agenda.

Also, winter allergies. Is that a thing? It sure feels like it in my nose. I know the house is a little dusty, but I also know it’s not enough to be causing all of this mess. Maybe I’ll go WebMd myself and self-diagnose my ailments. Mild bronchitis? Possibly. Walking pneumonia? Probably not, but a semi-hypochondriac would swing for that fence, right? Of course we would! On a side note, my husband just shakes his head if he happens to catch me looking at WebMd. Ha, it’s medical porn and I love it.

This weekend, I’m going to, for the first time, take off my diva boots and drive up to Breck in the morning and return on the same day. We’ve been here three years now and yes, my spoiled ass has stayed up there at least overnight every time. I know, it’s terrible. I’m usually pretty thrashed though by the time we break for lunch and just the thought of a 90 minute drive makes me wanna cry. But, panties up! I’m doing it this weekend.

One last thing before I go finish preparing for this day. Dear all of y’all, particularly you circus/pole/aerial people: could you slow down on being so fantastic? I am trying to keep up and I am, for the most part, several years your senior. You’re making me look bad! 😛  Jokes! I have jokes! You ladies and gents keep on rocking because you give me something to strive towards. It’s not greatness in the general sense of the word, but greatness for my age, body, and abilities. Yeah. I’m not 26 and I can’t bend like that, but I will push myself to bend the best I can. I’m not so many things that you are, but I AM so many things that you’ll never be – like black. Bwahahahahahaha!  I’m a mess. Do you do this to yourselves? Do you strive to match/meet the goals of others? No? Just me? Ok. Carry on and have a wonderful Tuesday!

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