First, let me say that, yes, just yesterday, I said I was taking a Vox hiatus. I am still taking that hiatus but it is unfair to the congregation to leave them without a leader since I got them all riled up so here I am.
Let the congregation say: ROCO!
Do they do that in other churches? You know, have the pastor read while the congregation reads along and responds as it is written or is that just the Baptists? At any rate, ROCO!
Well, my people, let's get on with the announcements. Today they'll be read by Sister Idadi (if she doesn't mind).
<Idadi does a roundoff back handspring to the pulpit.>
Good day members of the ROCO congregation.
<congregation replies in kind>
As you know, the Reverend has been having some interesting times that nearly took her away from the flock, but we are happy to say that, at least for church, she will be staying with us.
We are proud to announce that the Reverend, who has a full time job when not doing the work of the ROCO community, has received a promotion. She is moving up the white devil also known as the corporate ladder (sorta) from department paper pusher/whipping bitch to company-wide whipping bitch aka Help Desk/Junior Business Analyst.
<AMEN! Tell it!>
In other ROCO business, all members of the community are encouraged to bring a friend to church next week because the Reverend is a comment whore.
<snickers among the congregation>
That's all we have for this week.
Thank you, Sister Idadi.
Let us move on to tithing. The ROCO congregation is all about helping each other and others not so fortunate. Please give freely of your time and of yourself for a time may come when it is you that needs help.
As CNN just came on, please, let us take a moment to direct our thoughts to New York, the site of a crane collapse this morning wherein two people have been injured, possibly losing their lives at the corner of 91st and 1st Streets.
The ROCO congregation would never make light of such a tragedy, but we must move on, although our hearts are slightly heavier.
We have no sermon today, just thoughts. Thoughts such as:
When leaving the house, make sure that you didn't leave your wallet in your Lovey's truck, hence leaving you without ID, money, plastic and leaving you with the sinking feeling that you lost your wallet and have to cancel your credit cards until you realize that it's in your Lovey's truck.
A clean house is a happy house. Take it from me and my newly cleaned house. (One room to go minus Kiddo's. Teenagers live in funk.)
Gaining 10 pounds in 2 months is simple. Losing 10 pounds in 1 month is way harder. Lesson learned.
Online group projects really suck.
MiamiShyner (not the Rev. MS) will probably return to regular blogging during her vacation to the Keys that begins in 42 days, although it could be sooner. Hallelujah!
Live rock is awesome and sorely lacking in Miami.
Spam emails with the subject "You look really stupid MiamiShyner" are crappy! I don't care if it's spam, quit saying mean stuff!
Have the best possible weekend. Remember that the little things are just that, little things.
Most importantly, ROCO!!
Peace out to the congregation! I'm shaking hands at the door. Please step out into the vestibule, take the stairs down to the kitchen, and enjoy some refreshments. We were told that there would be punch and pie and punch (grape Kool-aid) and pie (peach cobbler) there is!
We've been in this relationship for a little while now, close to a year and a half. We've had our good times but I feel myself drifting away from you.
It's not you, it's me.
I don't feel as though I have anything of importance to say to you anymore and the things I want to say are probably better left unsaid.
Sure, occasionally you bring a smile to my face still, but more often than not, well, you don't.
Maybe we just need a trial separation. Maybe I need to see other blogs. Just remember, it's not you, it's me.
I guess I shouldn't expect you to wait around until I come back, although as long as I don't hit 'Delete', you don't really have a choice. It's not fair to you, I know, I'm taking up space that your new writer could have, but I'm selfish. I want it all, and I want it now.
I'll probably make my way back to you, but I think for now it's best that MiamiShyner goes on a little hiatus. MS may show up elsewhere, rambling on about things, but she may be incognegro so she can say some things that she's got on her mind that she isn't ready to own up to yet.
Don't call it goodbye, just see you later. I'll still stop by every now and again to see how you're doing and remind you that I am still around and just waiting for the right time to come back. I'm sure you'll be fine without me. It's been fun. Really. I won't tell you I love you because it would just be wrong on so many levels.
You'll always hold a special place in my heart. Maybe someone else will ROCO your Fridays and Mount Up your Mondays. Until then…
Word 'em up to the ROCO congregation!
We have reached the pinnacle (that means I reign supreme, I'm notorious I'll crush you like a jellybean. I'm bad.) of the week. The day that signifies the end of work and the beginning of alcohol. Yes, my people, it is Friday.
First and foremost, because I care about my flock, please be careful if you are hitting the roadways this weekend. Don't drink and drive or do anything else that might cause you to not get to ROCO church next Friday. We want to grow the congregation, not thin it out.
Now, more cowbell! This ROCO Friday, let us celebrate, rather than let it grate on our nerves, that little sound in the background that is always there but we usually ignore. Bring it to the front like a prominent shape in Photoshop (or Visio, the devil's work). Ring it loud and ring it proud!
Reverend Miami Shyner would like to take a moment to send thoughts and prayers to our brave men and women of the military. To those who gave their lives in honor of our country so that we (the general we) can live in this, the land of freedom, of choices, of opportunity. I salute you.
Long weekend. Hooooooooooooooo! ROCO!
I hope that you all have plans for an awesome holiday weekend. Just remember that anything worth doing is worth doing ROCO-Style. The 1230 Congregation plans the typical Saturday night at a new bar this week though and then a trip to Key Largo on Monday with the Trav's.
I hope that more cowbell is stuck in your head for the entire day. I hope that I win the lottery tomorrow. I hope I come up with an idea that'll make me a millionaire. I hope that you're still reading this. And if you are, and you go to a BBQ over this weekend, I hope you remember this:
Big ups to Natalie Dee for the toonage.
Have a great weekend all! ROCO!!
My brain is off on some sort of vacation and I need to try to lure it back because we have things to do, contrary to the title of this post. I guess I will try luring it back with fun stuff. So off I went to the Writer's Digest site for some thoughts on what to write about. When I get inspired, I will take their topics and make funny or disgusting stories for your amusement. Enjoy. Just not right now.