April 2008

Awesome quotes from the land in which I grew up

Pennsylvania.  Land of the Amish.  Next door to some serious rednecks. (WV)  Not a huge Republican state that I'm aware of.  With their choices being what they are, they are leaning towards Hillary.  But, that's not to say that the younger generation isn't putting in its two cents for Obama.  Neither here nor there.

Today, in the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette there were some great quotes taken from random folks on the street.  Here's a little insight into how PA rolls.

"A couple blocks east, at Jimmy's Quick Lunch, Hillary Clinton's the favorite of many regulars. 'I like her backup man,' said retired machinist Ronald Duser, referring to former President Bill Clinton. 'And her family's from Scranton. She seems to be an honest person, just like my wife.' Of Obama, Duser said: 'I'm not crazy about voting for a colored guy, but that's not why I don't support Obama. I'm not prejudiced. I just like Hillary.' A couple tables over, Jean Fetterman, a foster grandparent, said of Clinton: 'Oh, I love her. She's a very intelligent person, and she has her husband who went through this.' She scoffs at the idea of voting for Obama: 'I don't want to be a Muslim!' She looks dubious when told Obama is Christian. 'Then why did he go see what's-his-name over in Iraq, that Lama?'"

So Obama visited … a llama? The Dalai Lama? Osama? The Roller-rama? A bull from Bramah? Wagamama?

Sometimes people have mashed potatoes for brains and there's nothing you can do about it.

"And he didn't go to Iraq, either. Let's get this straight once and for all: that one time when he went to visit the llama, he wore the traditional garb of Suriname. He did it only because llamas, like illegal Mexicans, are from South America. Any politician, colored or regular, would have done the same. (Sigh.) But there you have it – this is now Clinton's base."

My home state.  Gawd bless 'em.

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ROCO Friday – What’s the 411?

(What's a 411 edition without a little Mary J?)

<insert a low, almost rumbling, soulful humming, southern baptist church style here>

Good people of the ROCO congregation:

We have come here today to celebrate the day that is ROCO Friday.  A day that is looked upon as the best day of the week.  A day that knows no black or white.  A day that is equal opportunity for everyone!  Let the congregation say ROCO!

<TESTIFY!>

We have traversed the trials and tribulations of another week and are able to hold our heads up high! (Until we go drinking tomorrow night and hang our heads down low, most likely praying to the porcelain god.)  We have held our ground against the evil known as Corporate America for yet another five days.  Let the congregation say ROCO!

We know, in our hearts and souls, that executives don't know more than us.  We know, in those same hearts and souls, that businesses would collapse without us.  We know, that no matter how much time we spend surfing the net or posting on Vox, that we still can't leave early in case someone needs us.  We know, that when the clock strikes 5 (or 4:30 in my case), the weekend has BEGUN!  Let the congregation say ROCO!

<CAN I GET A WITNESS?!?!?!>

Let the congregation rejoice in the concept of a tightly coiled resignation letter that has more personality that your boss. (Griffin, Brian. 2006) 

<humming is reaching a crescendo>

Now, let the congregation go forth and have the most ROCO Friday ever!  Spread your ROCO love and slap someone with it!  Let the congregation say:

ROCO!

<fried chicken and greens in the downstairs kitchen>

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I declare SHENANIGANS!

And I declare them on the lady that was in my exercise class last night.  SO tempting to post her plate number, but I won't.

What did she do, you ask?  Just this:

After an hour of dancing around like maniacs and sweating up a storm, she left the class and walked to her car.  Her nice, shiny car.  Her nice, shiny car that had a FREAKING HANDICAP DANGLY THING ON THE REAR-VIEW MIRROR!

I seriously wanted to hit her.  But I was too worn out from class. 🙂

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