had to share

Pondering

While sitting at the doctors office (THAT doctor) I wonder if she's wearing so much freaking perfume to cover up something else.

Oh, and I hate being made to wait so much that I might fart on him. Take that! My time is important too!

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Overheard

Two guys at the next table. Yeah, Im drinking in a bar, so what.

Guy 1: I'm gonna tell you something but when I tell you, you can't act surprised or I get to gut you with a butter knife.

Guy 2: Okay

Guy 1: My salary is 450% of yours. How's that? Does that feel like a kick in the nuts or getting stabbed with a butter knife?

Guy 2:

What a douche.

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