Krav Maga

Well hey there! It’s great to see you again. Thanks for stopping by. 🙂

This past weekend, I had the opportunity to take a self-defense class geared towards women. I had taken the class about four years ago and figured it was time for a refresher. You see, I have somewhat of a Napoleon complex going on. I tend to think that I’m tough as nails with all 5 foot 2 of my badassery. I mean, I’m not totally off my rocker. I do know when to keep my mouth shut, but I like to believe that I could hold my own in a struggle if it came down to it…even against a man.

We spent a little over two hours in there learning some techniques that are based in krav maga. Everyone grabs a partner and we take turns holding the pad for the other partner to punch/kick. But before we got to all of that fun, we determined where our “bubble” was. in other words, how close is too close for a stranger to get. The exercise included getting into two lines and walking towards your partner until she yelled out to stop. Now, notice I said yelled. Some ladies neglected to bring their big girl voices. I hope that somewhere along the line they find those voices, especially should they ever need them. Me? Former cheerleader, tomboy, tree climber, trapeze flyer, performer with no microphone. I’m loud. And if I don’t want you near me, you’re gonna know. The instructor tells everyone, “hey, watch her and be loud like her.” I have crazy expressive eyes and when I’m in this class or possibly in danger, I just have crazy eyes. I will tell you a story with these eyes and if I don’t like what you’re up to, that story is gonna start with F*&K and end with YOU.

Anywho, we got through our brief warmup and figuring out our comfort zones. On to punching! Straight punches, heel strikes, and hammer punches, oh my! No gloves. Just blasting through that pad (and pushing my poor partner over). But ladies, you don’t just have those hands fo punching. Don’t ever be afraid or ashamed to gouge eyes and scratch faces. The overarching theme was FIGHT FOR YOUR LIFE. Whatever it takes. A well placed forehead to the bridge of the nose. Whatever. Oh, and hey, those stems! Groin kick! I tell ya, I P90X-ed the hell outta those kicks.

Last time, we learned escaping from a bear hug from behind – bend at the waist, elbow, elbow, elbow, elbow, elbow, elbow (is he off yet??), elbow, elbow, (oh he’s off now?), hammer punch to the base of your neck, hammer, hammer, hammer, groin, groin, kick, kick, kick, punch, punch. I’m done a la Wendy Testaburger. This time we worked on removing a choke hold from the front. The reality is that the move might not fully remove the assailant’s hands from your throat, but it’ll move them enough that you’ll still be able to breathe. And fight. For your life.It’s called a pluck and should almost always come along with a groin kick. Like they said in the Simpson’s, it ain’t Krav Maga if there’s no groin kick.

We do these drills for about 90 minutes before we’re ready to go to simulated attacks. We split into two groups and go into two rooms where our “attacker” is in a padded suit with a padded helmet. All of the ladies stand in a circle with one lady in the middle. They guy in the suit walks/stalks around you, saying some pretty ignorant sh!t, touching you, he pulled my hair (hard!), but you can’t react until he’s truly attacking you. Every word out of his mouth was pretty much the equivalent of overtuning the smallest string on the guitar and his hands on my neck was when the string popped.

There was a Timberwulf sighting at that moment. Pluck, kick, hammer, hammer, hammer, hammer, kick to the chest while you’re on the ground. I’m done. The instructor picked me to go first. Good to have it out of the way so I could just focus on cheering on the other ladies, and in some circumstances, providing hugs and words of encouragement like “in through your nose, out through your mouth!” because one girl was pretty close to hyperventilating. A LOT of tears were shed in that class. Some because, and this is just an educated guess, it was too real and too reminiscent of something that had already happened. Some because they just didn’t realize they had the power within themselves. And some just because like hip openers in yoga, this will just release some emotions right up outta you.

They have the class annually and I really shouldn’t let three years go in between taking it. But next time I go, I really have to remember to cool myself down better and to stretch better. Why? Class was Saturday; today is Tuesday and my shoulder is still crying. Icy Hot and Tylenol are my friends, but a little discomfot is better than not knowing how to protect myself and the options that come with that. I cannot recommend enough that every female get out there and find some sort of self-defense class and take it and take it seriously. It just might save your life.

Fresh For Monday

 

THE SHOW MUST GO ON!

These are the things we must remember when it’s Monday and we just want to stay in bed for a little bit longer…or the whole day. When we don’t want to go to work, but bills don’t stop coming in. When we just don’t want to…the show must go on.

I’m not even sure how this happened, but it is already almost the end of 2015. I’m not ready! Summer just snuck by without me getting out to the range to smack some golf balls around. (Although we did get one of these to start doing more winter swing work in the basement.) And now, before anyone even knew it, it’s time to start waxing boards and looking for thermals.

How can I jump ahead like this? Well, it isn’t hard with Park City, Keystone, and Breckenridge all talking about getting ready to make snow and get the mountain ready for our impending visit(s). The weather is finally starting to turn and it’s in the 60s – it’s been way above normal until now – and it smells like fall outside. Plus, Halloween is right around the corner, which means Thanksgiving isn’t far behind. And if Thanksgiving isn’t far behind, you know that retailers will start putting up Christmas stuff in another couple of weeks. Yikes.

The end of summer/beginning of winter (see how I skip right over fall?) also brings about my birthday. In seven weeks and two days, I will have spent a whopping 42 years on this big ole ball of dirt. While I don’t currently have plans for the big day, especially since it’s in the middle of the week, I decided yesterday that I would take the next eight weeks and see what I could do with my body in terms of strength and flexibility in that time period.

I’m not totally off the deep end. Since I already have a base level of strength and flexibility, it shouldn’t be too terrible what I’m about to do. I just need to get it done and get it done right. First up is to start treating my body better from the inside out. I have been horribly neglecting my water intake and my body is hating me for it. You know I’m not totally right upstairs and I would know I’m not drinking enough water and want to see how far I could go. Yeah, I’m a nut. But I know better and am promising myself, at the very least, these next eight weeks of proper hydration. So hopefully no little nagging headaches along the way.

Just water won’t do it though. I need food. And lots of it. Back to having snacks and properly fueling myself so I don’t crash and burn when trying to work out. Snacks and protein shakes, welcome back into my life! Fortunately, sleep has always been a part of my life. And I find it to be very important so no changes there. Exercise, however, is getting a facelift.

After 7 weeks of Cize with Shaun T, I’m moving to something that basically targets the lower body since I’ll be needing a lot of that for the upcoming snowboarding season. So, like a lunatic, I put together a little morning regiment. I’ll start off with whichever day it is for the T25/PiYo hybrid calendar – today it was sculpt, which wasn’t as horrific as the first time I tried it. Follow that up with some gymnastics foundations work, then some stretching. By this time, I usually have to head upstairs for a bathroom break. This morning, getting back down the stairs was almost an incident. Legs tried to give out on me a little bit. But, Bambi legs and all, I made it back downstairs to finish up the morning work of an aerial yoga flow. That’s what I’ve got. 6 days a week for the next 8 weeks. 1 down, 47 to go. Will I stick with it? Only time will tell. All I can say is that I will try.

And with that, boys and girls, I think I shall call this a post. May the week ahead be filled with fun and happiness, and if not, at least may it not be filled with stress and hardships. Until the next post, I’m outta here!

 

1-2-3 1-2-3 Drink

 

Happy Monday. You know, I’ve known this song has been around a little while, but I never paid any attention to it. The only reason it popped up this morning is because I started my last week of Cize and this is the song. So wait, last week of Cize?!?! That means that for the last five weeks, I’ve been diligently getting up in the morning to go down to the dungeon and make my best attempt at dancing. That means that the last routine is so freaking hard that I will spend two weeks on it, making it weeks six and seven.  That means it will be seven of the easiest (mentally) weeks to get up and work out. And I don’t usually stick with things for that long, but I’m trying to change those sorts of bad habits.

Back to Sia. Have you ever listened to this?

Party girls don’t get hurt
Can’t feel anything, when will I learn
I push it down, push it down

I’m the one “for a good time call”
Phone’s blowin’ up, they’re ringin’ my doorbell
I feel the love, feel the love

1,2,3 1,2,3 drink
1,2,3 1,2,3 drink
1,2,3 1,2,3 drink

Throw ’em back, ’til I lose count

I’m gonna swing from the chandelier, from the chandelier
I’m gonna live like tomorrow doesn’t exist
Like it doesn’t exist
I’m gonna fly like a bird through the night, feel my tears as they dry
I’m gonna swing from the chandelier, from the chandelier

But I’m holding on for dear life, won’t look down won’t open my eyes
Keep my glass full until morning light, ‘cos I’m just holding on for tonight
Help me, I’m holding on for dear life, won’t look down won’t open my eyes
Keep my glass full until morning light, ‘cos I’m just holding on for tonight
On for tonight

Sun is up, I’m a mess
Gotta get out now, gotta run from this
Here comes the shame, here comes the shame

So how’s that for a gut punch? Not so much for you? Good on ya. Hit me like a truck. I used to live this way. No need to point fingers or any such madness. I’ve grown beyond that point although it took a long, long, LONG while. Drinking to not feel the pain, drinking to feel included, drinking to the point of not caring, drinking like the party girl to not get hurt, “fly like a bird through the night, feel my tears as they dry”, “gotta get out now, gotta run from this; here comes the shame, here comes the shame”. Yeah, that pretty much wraps it up. I could go into detail about feeling like that, but that’s another blog post for another day.

On to lighter topics. Last night, I carved my first pumpkin. Ever. Sounds crazy, right? To be coming up on 42 years old and to have never carved a pumpkin? Well, it’s true. And to be honest, it’s fucking gross. The inside of pumpkins smell awful. All those pumpkin guts are nasty. There was no way I was going to toast those seeds. I just couldn’t see putting that in my mouth. Yuck! However, we got a book of stencils and we have at least four left which means that we’ll be doing a second round before Halloween shows up. Here’s round one:

wpid-20151004_192207.jpg

Lovey did the bat, and I did the other..thing. You can tell more from this shot that it’s two people holding hands than it’s also a skull. Gotta get that from just the right angle to see it in that way. Overall, I’m good with how these came out. Even though the pumpkin head on the left actually lost its head and it’s held together with toothpicks. I guess I won’t be quitting my day job to become a pumpkin carver any time soon.

Last thing I want to touch on before I move right along with my day is positivity and getting shit done. On the forward-facing front, I do well with the positivity. We all have problems and hearing mine doesn’t make anyone’s day better so I keep that shit to myself. It isn’t that I’m trying to present myself as something I’m not, I just internalize a lot of stuff. Then there’s that getting shit done part. Another of my weak points when it comes to my own personal life. At work, no problem. I’ll tackle my tasks, your tasks, her tasks, and his tasks, and likely get them all done. But when the only overseer is me, I slack. That’s right. You heard me. I slack on myself. Probably the worst possible place to be slacking.

All of this when I have goals, or at least things that I know I should do. Things I know I can do if I just put my mind to them. Things I know I can do and do well if I would just get out of my own head. Things that would get done if I could simply let go of this fear of failure. Because you can’t fail if you never start, right?

But that isn’t how I want to live my life. That’s not how anyone should live their life. I’ve been trying to ingest some positive vibes to keep myself on a good level and to encourage me to do what I know I can do. What I’ve been told I can do. What’s waiting for me on the other side of that door if I just grow up and open it. Starting today. Starting now. So, for the two people whom I “scope” the most, know that my effort is real. My effort is sincere. And my effort is for me. Here we go.

Hello, October

 

It’s Buctober!! Yes, after that 20 season drought, our Pittsburgh Pirates are in the playoffs for the third consecutive season. This is the year. This is the one where we go further. I’m hoping with everything I have that this is the year that we go all the way. I mean, who doesn’t want to see the Batman go out on top? AJ has put it in for us and I hope we can return the favor in this, his last season.

You know that song isn’t only about the Battlin’ Buccos (#theseguys), but it’s also all good for the gridiron gang, the Renegades, the Steelers. Even though our number one guy is holding it down on the sidelines with a bum knee, we still take the field strong tonight against the hated, dirty, filthy Ratbirds of Baltimore.  May the good guys prevail.

On to non-sports related items. On Tuesday, I caught up with an old buddy and we went to work out together. Good times! The text messages the next day were pretty hilarious as we realized that we’re a little out of shape and we commiserated on our pained muscles. Yep, we’re sore, but not so sore that we won’t try it again next week. Cuz we’re silly like that. And I need to get out of the house at least once a week to see people besides the one I’m married to. 🙂

In that same vein, more or less, for the last 2 weeks, I’ve been taking two supplements (which I got for free in exchange for an honest review). One is Ashwagandha (say that five times fast) which is sort of a stress reliever/fog clearer, and the other is a joint support formula that has glucosamine, chondroitin, and MSM.  More for me than for you, so I remember what I want to write in my month-end review, neither produces immediate results, which is typical.  I’m a chiropractic regular, so I asked my guy how long it would take before I might feel any effect from the joint combo. He said probably around two weeks and that’s where I am now.  First, though, let’s talk about Ashwagandha, going forward known as Ash.

As I come to a close on the second month of my new job, I feel as though the Ash is helping. A new job is always a little stressful and this one is tie-one-on-inspiring. I promise you that three weeks ago, when I made it to 5 o’clock, walking away from my computer was the biggest relief in the world. Walking away was usually accompanied by some sort of relaxing function…like beer. Currently, 5 o’clock rolls around and I’m still happy to be done with my day, but I’m on a different mental level. I’m not feeling like I want to throw shit or punch puppies or bawl my eyes out. Just happy to have finished another day of work. I haven’t been overly upset with anything else either. And I’ve adopted a life’s too short kind of attitude. We’ll see how that all pans out.  Go Ash!

Now, for the joints. Maybe you know, maybe you don’t, that I have a small partial tear in the labrum of my left hip. The tear itself doesn’t really cause any pain, but the muscles that tighten up around it trying to do their protection dance are real jerks. And, let’s face it, I’m not getting any younger and yet I keep putting my body through the paces of a younger person. In return, my body does most of this shit but lets me know it isn’t happy by groaning and creaking and sometimes crunching.

The crunching usually happens in the knees whenever I’m going down into or coming up from a squatting position. Has it stopped completely in the last two weeks? No. Has it gotten a little less loud? Yes. Joint point!

My feet. They’re a train wreck. My toes tend to raise up off the ground and I look ridiculous when I walk. Combining stretching, my gua sha tools, and the joint combo looks as though it may make things a little better.  My toes almost lay flat on the floor when I put my foot down now. By the end of the bottle, maybe they’ll be normal and I’ll stop putting holes in my fucking sneakers because of my mangle-toes.

Back to those hips. They don’t lie. They also don’t really like me. But, they’re warming up to me as I keep feeding them the joint combo. Notice I said warming up and not opening up because, even though I put in work on them for the month of September, there was only a tiny bit of progress. But hey, I guess I can’t expect magic in 30 days after 30 plus years of abuse.

So, we’ll see what comes of another 2 weeks of this horse pill regimen. Because if I can keep choking these things down, I can do anything! Like stand on my hands. I WILL accomplish this…before I turn 45, lol. Giving myself a little buffer.

Have a great night, folks. Get behind my boys tonight. All of them! #blackandyellow

 

On The Third Day, There Was Rain

Another sea day, folks. First things first, it’s our anniversary. Four years. J  Secondly, lemon cookies. They’re awesome. Onward.

Yesterday we got a good bit of rain but it was still warm. I am still trying to stay away from wet decks so I don’t take another spill. The amount of walking we’ve been doing is slowly declining. I think we only did 5 miles yesterday as opposed to the nearly 10 the first day. I think that we’ll get those numbers back up in Belize though.

On that exercise type note, I got a body composition analysis done. It was kinda neat – the printout they give you, that is, the actual procedure is just like standing on a scale and holding handlebars. The bottom line of it is that I’m not retaining too much water, I need 1358 calories a day, and my body will give up 6 pounds of fat which should come from my legs and I need to go back to doing legs or running or something. No wonder I can’t hold my legs up in iron X……6 extra pounds.

And speaking of feats of wonder, we went to the ice show. The actual space for skating isn’t overly large so double axels were the biggest tricks that were thrown. But hey, it’s not like I can do one. It was still fun to see and then all of a sudden, it got awesome. There was a couple that came out and did German Wheel. Did you hear me? They did German Wheel. On. The. Ice. Yup, super impressive.

We signed up for lessons on the FlowRider. You’ll have to wait until tomorrow to hear about that disaster. I’m just hoping to not injure myself. You’ll probably hear me screaming from where you are. Sometimes I wonder why I torture myself with these water activities. My rational, conscious mind keeps me out of the water for the most part because my irrational subconscious is ALWAYS trying to get me to jump in like I wouldn’t sink and die. Stupid brain.

Lastly, and most importantly, we went to Sabor last night. Yes, as a matter of fact, it was slap yo mamma delicious. Guacamole was made tableside for us. The queso fundido was sloppily delicious, and the tuna crudo, OMG so good.

1 2