In Shynes Mind

8/30 – Book Love/Hate

At eight days into this challenge, I now know why I don’t write for a living. Sometimes I just don’t want to do it, like 2 days ago, when I threw out a post that probably didn’t even make it to 250 words. On on.

I’ve been a pretty voracious reader ever since I can remember. My mom said that I was kind of a weird kid and she blamed it on my love for reading Stephen King. I would literally be hiding one of his books behind some school book in high school. I read…a lot. Even today, I’ll get caught up in a book series and just go dark to the world. My poor husband, lol.

Even though I just mentioned Stephen King, it’s one of his books that lands in the most hated position. The Tommyknockers. Mind you, I first read this when I was, oh, under 18 anyway. I didn’t really love the story, but what bugged me the most was that, in one part of the book, one of the main characters got sick. Coincidentally, I got sick at the same time. This really turned me off from the book.

It would be pretty difficult for me to pick out a favorite book. I like pretty much all of the rest of Stephen King’s books. I liked both the Adept and Incarnations of Immortality series from Piers Anthony. Let’s not forget the Myth Adventures series from Robert Asprin and the Dragonriders of Pern series by Anne McCaffrey. I’ve kept up with Janet Evanovich’s Stephanie Plum series.

Sometimes these days I read shitty erotica. I still like crime stories. But I’m not super picky. And there you have it.

1-2-3 1-2-3 Drink

 

Happy Monday. You know, I’ve known this song has been around a little while, but I never paid any attention to it. The only reason it popped up this morning is because I started my last week of Cize and this is the song. So wait, last week of Cize?!?! That means that for the last five weeks, I’ve been diligently getting up in the morning to go down to the dungeon and make my best attempt at dancing. That means that the last routine is so freaking hard that I will spend two weeks on it, making it weeks six and seven. ย That means it will be seven of the easiest (mentally) weeks to get up and work out. And I don’t usually stick with things for that long, but I’m trying to change those sorts of bad habits.

Back to Sia. Have you ever listened to this?

Party girls don’t get hurt
Can’t feel anything, when will I learn
I push it down, push it down

I’m the one “for a good time call”
Phone’s blowin’ up, they’re ringin’ my doorbell
I feel the love, feel the love

1,2,3 1,2,3 drink
1,2,3 1,2,3 drink
1,2,3 1,2,3 drink

Throw ’em back, ’til I lose count

I’m gonna swing from the chandelier, from the chandelier
I’m gonna live like tomorrow doesn’t exist
Like it doesn’t exist
I’m gonna fly like a bird through the night, feel my tears as they dry
I’m gonna swing from the chandelier, from the chandelier

But I’m holding on for dear life, won’t look down won’t open my eyes
Keep my glass full until morning light, ‘cos I’m just holding on for tonight
Help me, I’m holding on for dear life, won’t look down won’t open my eyes
Keep my glass full until morning light, ‘cos I’m just holding on for tonight
On for tonight

Sun is up, I’m a mess
Gotta get out now, gotta run from this
Here comes the shame, here comes the shame

So how’s that for a gut punch? Not so much for you? Good on ya. Hit me like a truck. I used to live this way. No need to point fingers or any such madness. I’ve grown beyond that point although it took a long, long, LONG while. Drinking to not feel the pain, drinking to feel included, drinking to the point of not caring, drinking like the party girl to not get hurt, “fly like a bird through the night, feel my tears as they dry”, “gotta get out now, gotta run from this; here comes the shame, here comes the shame”. Yeah, that pretty much wraps it up. I could go into detail about feeling like that, but that’s another blog post for another day.

On to lighter topics. Last night, I carved my first pumpkin. Ever. Sounds crazy, right? To be coming up on 42 years old and to have never carved a pumpkin? Well, it’s true. And to be honest, it’s fucking gross. The inside of pumpkins smell awful. All those pumpkin guts are nasty. There was no way I was going to toast those seeds. I just couldn’t see putting that in my mouth. Yuck! However, we got a book of stencils and we have at least four left which means that we’ll be doing a second round before Halloween shows up. Here’s round one:

wpid-20151004_192207.jpg

Lovey did the bat, and I did the other..thing. You can tell more from this shot that it’s two people holding hands than it’s also a skull. Gotta get that from just the right angle to see it in that way. Overall, I’m good with how these came out. Even though the pumpkin head on the left actually lost its head and it’s held together with toothpicks. I guess I won’t be quitting my day job to become a pumpkin carver any time soon.

Last thing I want to touch on before I move right along with my day is positivity and getting shit done. On the forward-facing front, I do well with the positivity. We all have problems and hearing mine doesn’t make anyone’s day better so I keep that shit to myself. It isn’t that I’m trying to present myself as something I’m not, I just internalize a lot of stuff. Then there’s that getting shit done part. Another of my weak points when it comes to my own personal life. At work, no problem. I’ll tackle my tasks, your tasks, her tasks, and his tasks, and likely get them all done. But when the only overseer is me, I slack. That’s right. You heard me. I slack on myself. Probably the worst possible place to be slacking.

All of this when I have goals, or at least things that I know I should do. Things I know I can do if I just put my mind to them. Things I know I can do and do well if I would just get out of my own head. Things that would get done if I could simply let go of this fear of failure. Because you can’t fail if you never start, right?

But that isn’t how I want to live my life. That’s not how anyone should live their life. I’ve been trying to ingest some positive vibes to keep myself on a good level and to encourage me to do what I know I can do. What I’ve been told I can do. What’s waiting for me on the other side of that door if I just grow up and open it. Starting today. Starting now. So, for the two people whom I “scope” the most, know that my effort is real. My effort is sincere. And my effort is for me. Here we go.

Books ‘n Books

Now that I have almost everyone trained to give me a gift card to a bookstore for any present-giving event, I'm looking for suggestions.  I have a "typical" read, but am always willing to check out something new.  So, neighbors, if you don't mind, tell me your top two or three (or five or however many you want) books.  PLEASE. ๐Ÿ™‚

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thngs n tsdy – jly 8, 2008

>.<  stuff

  • Up until last night, a serious lack of good sleep
  • I miss my Kiddo although I know she's in good hands and is having a blast
  • Dude.  Work.  Seriously.  I'm smarter than this.
  • Almost finished with Duma Key already

:-D  stuff

  • 4th of July weekend was totally fun
  • A mere four days remain until vacation for real
  • Two melatonin let me sleep through one hell of a storm
  • I'll be an iPhone whore in a couple days
  • The second bathroom will function within the next month!
  • Hooray book club
  • BruddaShyner may go check out Kiddo at camp
  • The end of accounting is in sight
  • OMG, last night's hamburgers were freaking delicious
  • EDAMAME!
  • It's 2 for Tuesday.  Hoo HA!

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Friday the 13th….I’m baaaaaack

But there will be no ROCO because I'm just not feeling it.  You may want to just skip over this post altogether because it will be full of things that I just need to get out there.

  • I believe that 3 years is a decent amount of time to give something a try.  That said, Miami sucks.  No matter what you've seen on television, that's television, and living here, well, as PittGirl would say, is church. (Thanks for the shout.)
  • Getting this piece of paper has become ridiculously important.  It signifies more knowledge, more money, and more distance between me and south Florida.
  • <sarcasm> There is nothing more encouraging than a supervisor questioning your clothing choice of the day (that has been worn on many occasion previously) and stating, with an air of hopefulness in his/her voice, that you look as though you may have an interview today.  </sarcasm>
  • I am dieting and it sucks.  Why am I dieting?  Because it is incorrect for a woman of 5 feet and 1.5 inches to weigh 140 pounds.  Three weeks in and I have lost almost 9 pounds.  That does not suck.
  • Possibly because of dieting, I have recently started forgetting things and have lost my ability to focus, even on things that I enjoy.  This is bad.
  • I now have two gray hairs.  At least they aren't visible.
  • Steve Jobs is the devil and on July 11, I will become one of his minions.
  • In four weeks and one day, I will be toasting the beginning of vacation.  Parrot Bay and mango/pineapples all around.
  • I have a book rolling around in my head and I hope to push it out soon.  It is taking up too much space.  I think it's a good I'm-on-vacation-sitting-at-the-beach/pool-and-I-want-to-read-but-not-think kind of book.
  • Is it football season yet?!?!  No?  Well, in the meantime, go Marlins, I guess.
  • Does ANYONE think that I am coherent when I write?
  • The weekend is nearly upon us and guess what fun I have in store!  Nothing like cleaning the house, eh?
  • Oh, by the way, how does one tell if one is depressed?
  • I am a crappy friend because I neglected to call one of my very best friends on his 30th birthday.  My bad, Ant.  Here's a shout out for your biz.  If you live in the New Jersey or five boroughs, you should stop by and give that a shot.  If you are female, even more so because the boys are eye candy.
  • I miss my friends who "get me" and let me be me.  True friends are still your friends the day after you DDT them onto a concrete floor in a bar in Mexico.
  • Ohhhhh, almost forgot this gem.  Kiddo's father, possibly one of THE biggest asshats moving around on two feet, had the nerve audacity balls non-functioning brain notion that I would add him as a friend on Facebook.  HAHAHAHA.  Just for kicks, I looked at his friends list.  Know what it said?  Dxxxx Kxxxxx has no friends.  Well, DUH!
  • Mmm, right.  Celebrity Circus on NBC.  I have yet to watch the full episode but from the first three acts, well, not so much.  I've seen (and taught) children to do more in a week.
  • I MISS MY CIRCUS STUFF!

You know, I've rambled on long enough regarding things that you, dear reader, aren't so interested in.  I leave you with wishes for a happy weekend.  Shyne on.

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