Is the bar tender here?

What did the termite say when he walked into the bar?

I love tending bar.  I want to do it again.  Soon as I buy me some boobies, I might be able to get a job on South Beach.  In the meantime, I'll settle for quizzes to tell me how good I am.

Your Score: Bacardi 151

Congratulations! You're 132 proof, with specific scores in beer (100) , wine (116), and liquor (104).

151
151

All right. No more messing around. Your knowledge of alcohol is so high that you have drinking and getting plastered down to a science. Sure, you could get wasted drinking beer, but who needs all those trips to the bathroom? You head straight for the bar and pick up that which is most efficient.

Link: The Alcohol Knowledge Test written by hoppersplit on OkCupid, home of the The Dating Persona Test
 
Are you joining me behind the bar or in front of it?

Read and post comments

QotD: I'm A Completist

Do you own all the albums of any particular musical artist or group? Who?
Submitted by dutterman.

Boy, I'm chatty today.  Anywho, the only artist whose CDs I own all of is a friend of mine, Garen, formerly known as Granian, currently as KTA (Kill The Alarm).  If you're in NY/NJ and he's playing, you should check him out.  Good stuff.  This is one of my favorites from him.

 

Ain't That A Shame
Ain’t That A Shame
Granian

Read and post comments

Afterhours at the 1230

Things are never normal at our house.  Nowhere near, actually.  More importantly, things are always funny at our house.

I am trying to do the whole "good mom" thing and keep my daughter focused on school.  To help with this, I limit the time she has her cell phone (when she's at home, heaven forbid something happen and she doesn't have it) and her laptop (yeah, she's a little spoiled).  When 9 pm rolls around, she has to hand them both over.  Last night, she knocked on the bedroom door, as usual, and gave me the laptop and the phone.  I put them down in their usual place and then Lovey came over and picked up her phone.

He was just turning it over in his hands and then he said, "You know what would be funny?"

Any converstaion that starts with those words in our house can be nothing but trouble.  I asked him what he was thinking anyways.  So he proceeds with, "You should take a picture of your butt and put it on her cell phone."

R O F L M F A O!

We went on to discuss how it should be her background and her welcome picture and it would be a perfect birthday present for her in another week or so.  She would have to look at my butt for a long time until she figured out how to change it.  I didn't do it.  Yet.

We are sick individuals.

Read and post comments

A Sucker-Free Sunday

Does not include me.

I am a sucker.  I have a very bad tendency to want to try new products and infomercials are my worst enemy.  After Lovey and I got done laughing at the infomercial for Hip Hop Abs, I surely went ahead and ordered it.  At least it's not just sitting on the shelf though.  I am doing it and it does work as long as you do it.  Have I lost any weight?  About a pound, but the inches that have come off are way better than the pounds anyways.

So, I have the most luggage ever in the depository under my eyes.  It doesn't matter how much sleep I get or how much water I drink, I always look like I'm either high, almost asleep, or in dire need of sleep.  Of course, makeup does wonders, but I'm too lazy for that and I haven't made it to the store to check out the right shade in the mineral makeup yet.  Dermatologist is the next step, but in reality, I don't think I care enough to go.  I'm not picking up any boys or starting up a modeling career since I'm too short.

Well, if there's a new product out, I'm gonna give it a try.  Vanity sneaks out every now and again and I want to be the most beautiful girl in Miami that has her real lips/boobs/hips/ass/hair/fingernails.  Wait, according to Lovey, I already am.  Whatever.  I figured if Oil of Olay came out with something that would put away the suitcases, I'd give it a shot.

 

Olay
Olay

And there it is.  The eye derma-pod.  They stuck some creme in a little pouch that you open by squeezing it and it magically comes out on the sponge at the end.  Spread evenly on upper lids and underneath eyes and massage in for one minute per eye.  Contains 24 derma-pods, best results if used thrice weekly for 8 weeks.  Yup.  8 weeks.

But I'm game.  I figure it might help.  I have less than two weeks left and I'm slowly finding out that Olay just doesn't work for everyone.  I'm not posting any before and/or after pictures, mainly because I didn't take any but I'm seriously not seeing any difference here people.  No, I take that back, I'm not seeing any positive difference.  Is the skin underneath my eyes different from the rest of my face now?  Yes, it is, but it looks like, to me, that all this has accomplished is making the wonderful lines under my eyes even freaking deeper!  Now there's just a place for makeup to hide!!  Aaargh!

Olay has less than two weeks to change my mind on this, but I just don't see it happening.  Maybe this only works for people who only THINK they have bags under their eyes, not people who actually have them.

 

Read and post comments

« Previous Page — Next Page »

You Missed

Ramblings

Nothing To See Here

Ramblings

Too Damn Slow

Ramblings

Ghosts (of Days Gone By)

Ramblings

Raunchy Activated