Day 1 of 90 – The torture begins

Hi there. 🙂

So, as you may or may not know, in 89 days, on a beautiful beach in Cancun, I'll be sporting a wedding dress and getting married to my Lovey. Pretty normal to want to look your best for that particular occasion, no? In anticipation for this festive occasion and all of the bikini wearing madness that will go along with it, today I started P90X. If you're at all like me and can't help but to watch infomercials, maybe you've seen it. What it boils down to is it's a workout that tries to kill you. Yay!

There's no real working your way into it on the first day or in the first week. This guy just throws it at you like you're learning dodgeball from Patches O'Houlihan. "If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball!" Typically, I don't get sore from a good workout until the next day. I'm already feeling it 12 hours later. Doesn't make for a good sign for tomorrow.

As with any exercise program, they give a diet to go along with it.  Usually I ignore these types of things and just try to eat healthy, but this time, I'm going to try to not follow it exactly, but at least try to come close.  One of the biggest issues is having to eat 5 smalls a day.  If you're not accustomed to it, it's a lot harder than one would think.  Breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, dinner.  And another snack before bed if I get hungry.  So. Much. Food!  I guess I need it to stay functional though.

I have a feeling that lifting my arms tomorrow may be a challenge…..

It’s Time To Take A Step Back

Dear Ben,

I'm sure that there are plenty of letters just like this one out there, some nicer than others, but all with the same theme of "Really, Ben?!?!"  I had to re-open my blog for this.  I'm serious.  I don't think for a minute that you'll find your way to my blog to read this, but I hope that you find your way off of the road you're currently riding down.

When, exactly, do you think you're going to come to the realization that you're a target?  Not just on the field, either.  You can't scratch your, ugh blorf, hairy ass without it hitting the media.  So, yeah, happy birthday.  28, huh?  Time to grow up.  You're actually quite overdue to tell the truth.

Let me put this as plainly as I possibly can, Ben.  Keep your dick in your pants.  If you aren't pointing that at a urinal, it should remain put away.  Look, I wasn't there so I don't know what happened.  What I do know is this is the second time in too short of a time period, although a second time EVER would've been too short of a time period.

Here's a newsflash for you, Ben:  There are no chicks in jail.  Or, at least none that have actual vaginas.  Maybe you will think about that the next time you're hammered and out having a good time.  I think that time is gonna be a little while down the road though, because I also think you're going to do a little time.

If, by some chance, you get out of this, I'm going to make a suggestion.  Since it is obvious that your boys aren't looking out for your best interest, what you appear to need is a WingWoman.  Your WW will keep your simple, drunken ass in line.  She isn't interested in you in the least little bit and won't be afraid to kick you square in the nuts if you step out of line.  If she can't keep you from getting TOO drunk, she'll at least be there to keep you out of trouble.  She can fend off some of these chicks who are strictly looking for a quick payday and hey, maybe even introduce you to someone that'll keep you in line permanently.

It's one thing, Ben, if you want to throw away your career and everything you've worked for if it affected only you.  That is not the case and you know it.  You have teammates and coaches who count on you.  You have little boys and girls around the country who looked (notice the past tense) up to you as a role model.  You have, not a city, not a state, but an ENTIRE NATION of people who are shaking their heads right now, wondering why and possibly watching their season go up in flames long before it even starts. 

Let me get off of my soapbox because it isn't as though I've never done anything wrong.  I had a police incident once too. I actually was young (14) though, and I didn't hurt anyone.  I'm sure a lot of people are telling you a lot of different things right now.  Hopefully you'll be able to filter out the information that you actually need and put it to use before you've alienated everyone, lost your job and do some time.  Oh, and by the way, stop trying to live that stupid party like the white boys song!

With dwindling love and respect,

MiamiShyner

ROCO Friday – Running Down A Dream

All hail the Friday ROCO congregation!

The good Reverend MiamiShyner is pleased and blessed to have made it through another week. Let the congregation say ROCO!

I am also blessed to have such a wonderful congregation. I may only see you once a week, but know that I appreciate you and keep you in my thoughts.

There are some days when I feel that this song is just appropriate. Many days on the way home from work, we open the song:

It was a beautiful day, the sun beat down
I had the radio on, I was driving

But long before I get to that point, somewhere before the halfway point of my run, I feel like this:

I felt so good like anything was possible
I hit cruise control and rubbed my eyes

Music can speak to you, ladies and gentlemen, if you’ll just open your ears. ROCO!

Maybe you’ve noticed your Reverend looking a little more trim these days, maybe not. Well, I am running down my dream in small steps. The first step is to run a 5K. I’m more than halfway finished with the training for this and my first 5K is on Thanksgiving morning. That’s right, I’ll run and then come home and stuff my face. There are several 5Ks that I want to run before working my way up to a half marathon, and then finally, a full marathon. I must be insane. 🙂

So, congregation, I ask you, do you know what path you’re on? Do you have a path? How can you run down your dream if you don’t have a path to follow? Tom Petty’s mama didn’t raise no dummies.
There’s something good waiting down this road
I’m picking up whatever is mine

I hope that you’ll all realize that you each have something good waiting down your road. Take the time to pick up whatever is yours.

With that, my dear flock, I ask that you go forth and spread the good ROCO word. Have a wonderful weekend. Be safe and have fun. And last but not least, ROCO!

ROCO Fridays – Welcome back, Kotter

After a long hiatus, the Reverend MiamiShyner has returned to her flock to once again spread the message of ROCO Fridays. *cue music*


Welcome Back Kotter


Let us reacquaint ourselves, shall we?

Please turn in your hymnals to page 305 for responsive reading.

Rev: And as your boss sayeth unto you, “Can you stay late today?” Let us respond with a phrase fitting the Sweathogs…

Congregation: Up your nose with a rubber hose!

Rev: ROCO! And whosoever wishes to leave early today shall make it known to all.

Congregation: *hands raised energetically* Oooh! Oooh! Oooh!

Rev: And should that one annoying co-worker request that you do his/her work before you leave, the congregation shall say..

Congregation: Off my case, toilet face.

Rev: Let the congregation say…

All: ROCO!

Today, on a day when our President has won the Nobel Peace Prize, when we have crashed a missile into the moon, when it’s freezing in Corporate America, we still must give thanks for all we’ve been blessed to have. Your Reverend is learning to take one day at a time and to enjoy each and every one of those days. Rev MS is spending her last several months in Miami doing some things for herself and she suggests that you do the same be it in Miami or Moscow, Pittsburgh or Portland.

And now, because I know that we all have things to do, I will wrap up today’s sermon. Take this good word and go forth and ROCO!

*congregation rises*
*Reverend walks to the back of the church*

Let the congregation say ROCO!

*Rev MS stands at the back of the church shaking hands and kissing the babies of the congregation.*

Chicken and biscuits with gravy and mashed are downstairs. Don’t forget to try Sister Kiddo’s sweet potato pie!

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