To Boldly Go…

From the title, I’m assuming that you know that this is going to be a post that has to do with Star Trek. If you didn’t, now you know. Then you might wonder why Beastie Boys. I guess if you knew Star Trek you’d know, but in case you don’t, take three minutes and watch this:

Then go watch the rest of the movie if you have the means. It’s pretty good.

If you aren’t familiar with Star Trek, this is gonna be the time that you’re gonna want to go ahead and jump ahead or click away or something because the rest of this post is going to be all kinds of nerd jokes.

One day, online, I saw one particular bird compared to one particular vehicle in Star Trek and that sent me down this path of trying to equate the local birds to races of people/creatures on Star Trek. Round these parts, we have a plethora of birds. The birds in play are the Great Blue Heron, storks, geese, marsh hens, ducks, spoonbills, eagles, sandhill cranes, and ibis.

Let’s start with the birds that got it all started: the geese. What I had seen online was something along the lines of a flying goose looking like a Klingon bird of prey. While I had never thought about it previously, the next time I looked up and saw one, I certainly saw the correlation. When you add on that geese can be pretty aggressive and mean, I thought that them being Klingons worked out pretty well. Qapla’!

Next up are the marsh hens. We call them water chickens because they really kinda are. They don’t fly far and they just walk around pecking at the ground. They have ZERO defense mechanisms. We watched hawks (who I just realized that I didn’t list) pick off the babies as easily as you or I might pick up the remote. Since they just looked like balls of fluff when the hawk had a snack, marsh hens are the tribbles. They even make stupid squeaky noises.

Every comparison doesn’t have a really strong correlation. Like, why are the Blue Herons Vulcans? I don’t have a great backstory for them just yet, but they do seem kinda stoic and standoffish, so that’s who they are for me.

Kinda cousins to the Vulcans are the Romulans. So while it would kinda make more sense to have the ibis be them, I’m giving it to the ducks. They’re kinda smart, at least smart enough to dive and hide from predators. I already told you, they’re not all winners.

I bet when I say pink bird you automatically think flamingo. I don’t think I had seen a spoonbill before we moved here, but they’re also pink, much smaller than a flamingo, and the end of their bill looks like a spoon, hence the name. If you’ve ever seen a Cardassian, not to be confused with a Kardashian, you know that smack in the middle of their foreheads, they have a ridge that looks like a spoon. I mean, how could I not make them that?!?

Back to the ibis. They run in packs and look for food in those same packs. Just pecking away, pecking away, almost shoulder to shoulder. It’s like they all move together…one set of thoughts…one mind…yes, the Borg. Usually if you spook one of them, they all fly too.

Our friends the storks. They are a cornerstone of the humanity of lying to your children about where babies come from. It’s because of this connection that I made them Betazoids. There’s a definite mental connection between humans and storks. They’re in our minds. Betazoids can’t get IN minds but they get them there feelings.

Because we are human (or I’m assuming you are if you’re reading this…if not, ummm, hi?), self-preservation and preservation of our other humans (the ones we like anyway) is one of the biggest traits of being human. Yeah, even boring old humans make it to outer space. We are big headed enough to think we started that shit. But, back to preservation, the sandhill cranes are the humans. They’re protected by the US Migratory Bird Treaty Act like the Federation of Planets. You gotta follow all kinds of rules about them, lol.

Last, and certainly not least in either the bird or the Star Trek kingdom is the eagle. A symbol of strength and well, superiority basically. You know how *we* do here in America. That symbolism and attitude is why eagles are the Q Continuum. They’re the most rarely seen character of these and it’s the most rarely seen bird. (Yes, I see cranes more than eagles)

Once again, I started a post at about 8:30 and it’s taken me four hours to finish it. Maybe when I can get down to pushing out this many words in under an hour, I’ll be able to focus long enough to write for my books, lol. Guess we’ll see!

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