I’m gonna be hard pressed to find ten interesting things about myself. So, I’m gonna tell you ten things about whatever comes to mind.
- After having a child and still having no boobs, topped with living in Miami making me feel insufficient, I got a boob job for myself for my 35th birthday. From 34A to 36D. Holla!
- I have lived (if I slept there for more than 2 months, I count it) in New York, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Florida, North Carolina, Colorado, Mexico, Turks & Caicos, and Tunisia.
- No matter how hard I’ve tried, front splits have and continue to evade my broke ass hip ass.
- Table manners are so. Fucking. IMPORTANT! I’m sure this is partly because of how big of a stickler my dad was. No elbows on the table, chew with your mouth closed, and don’t talk with your mouth full. Or I’ll want to kill you.
- I prefer pro football to college but college basketball to pro. I know. I’m weird.
- *knock on wood* I’ve never had a cavity nor have I broken a bone (because a toe just doesn’t count and I’m not even sure it was broken because there was no way I was going to the hospital just to be sure it was broken when there wasn’t even anything they could do about it.
- Thanks to growing up country with many boys, I’m fairly car savvy. As in, I can change all of the tires, lights, fluids, filters, and in some cars, brakes. My not-so-secret dream is to own a place where pretty ladies do car maintenance. Boobs & Lubes. Ha!
- Ugh, this is tedious. I don’t like water where I can’t control the temperature and sure as shit not where I can’t touch the bottom. I can swim well enough to get to the side of the pool I’ve just been thrown in for sassing the fuck out of a bartender who threw me in even though I told him I couldn’t swim (he left a friend to make sure since he had to get back behind the bar). Ocean City.
- I am not and have never been concerned about going out alone. Dinner, movies, bar, wherever. I’ve met a ton of awesome people because I went out alone and talked to whomever didn’t look like a serial killer.
- I can’t dance. I can’t sing. I don’t go to church. I don’t like watermelon. I don’t have big lips. I don’t run quickly. I know what you’re thinking. I’m an asshole.