QotD: The Last Time I Surprised Myself

When was the last time you surprised yourself?

This morning as I read this question, the dog had laid her head in my lap.  She indicated that she wanted to answer this question and so I am going to oblige her this one time.  While I will translate and type for her, it will still be in the first person so that you can fully enjoy her story.

Why, thank you for asking, Vox, as this happened just earlier today.  I was all alone in the house, relaxing before the two-leggers returned from wherever it is that they go all day.  They come home smelling like other people and other things, some nice, some nasty, but I'm getting away from the topic already.

Like I was saying, I was laying on the floor in the sun when I heard a noise come from somewhere behind me.  I lifted my head to see if anything was there, but alas, nothing but me and my fur tumbleweeds.  I laid my head back down, but just then a powerful stench struck my sensitive nose.  I sat up a bit to investigate this new smell.  As I sniffed around, I found that the smell seemed to be eminating from just below my tail.

On previous occasions when I have heard this noise, the two-leggers have often pointed at me and held their noses whilst saying my name in unfriendly tones.  And now, I realize what has happened.  I am the cause of this noxious odor.  I am surprised that this came from me!  I eat nothing but the finest in gourmet dry food — and sometimes some poop from the yard.  How could this happen?!?!  Maybe I am more ashamed than surprised.

I am glad she finally realizes that her farts stink.

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