Hands Up!

Up there, that’s your proof that Zumba is Crazy Signs done at Carlos n Charlies or Senor Frogs.

I’m not sure why Tiburon was stuck in my head this morning outside of it’s a crazy sign and those always get stuck in my head. I had to look through a few videos to get that proof. I mean, seriously, if you were in Ixtapa, can’t you just see Jerry and Lalo up on stage doing this? (Or Rebo, Caro, Eden and myself) Along with a couple GOs of course. The whole thing reminds me of visiting a Carlos N Charlies in Cancun. Hubby was so awesome to play along when I went to dance with the folks that work there. I never mentioned anything Club Med to them, so they were mildly confused when I hopped right in and danced along with them. Too cute the waiter in front of me who kept moving my hands from his waist to his ass. VIVA MEXICO!! (A donde mi corazon vive)

I don’t know what the story is with this week where I’ve been having trouble realizing what day it is, but I do know that I’m not alone. A couple people at work have been having the same issue this week. This makes me feel good because it makes me feel like I’m not losing my mind, or if I am, I’m not the only one. I think it’s partially because my personal calendar has less on it and my work calendar keeps gaining timesucks meetings. I’m Rick Ross in this piece.

Let’s talk exercise for a minute, because, well, I almost always do. Today was a new set of exercises – back and biceps. You may call me Master P because UUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHNNNNNNNNNN! I know that I will be feeling that tomorrow. I surprised myself at the beginning with how many unassisted pull-ups I could do and depressed myself at the end with how many unassisted pull-ups I could do (that would be zero because my arms were SHOT!). On the up side, I’ve reached a point in the program, that, as of today, there are no new workouts the rest of the way out. All that’s left is the pain I already know, so there is that bonus. I am going to be absolutely smoking for this cruise and the first pic I post shall be me all ripped up in that motherfucking split that I WILL HAVE by then. Pardon my dirty mouth. I’m rated R for mature language, mild violence, and sexual situations.

You know, quite often I wish I had a USB port in my head where I could simply download items to make room for new items. Oddly enough, I only just now realized that I sort of do in this blog. Sorry that you guys are my mind dump, but it’s much appreciated. I mean, you don’t want to see my head explode, right? Ok, so don’t answer that question. Instead, go enjoy the rest of your hump day. Toodles!

Jump!! Training

Ahh, Diamond Dave. With a split better than mine. Go head, DD. Couldn’t nobody mess with you back in the day. Well, you know, except Eddie and Alex. It has nothing to do with you that my favorite Van Halen song is actually a Van Hagar song, but Dreams, come on.

So it’s Tuesday and you  know what that means…plyometrics, aka jump training, aka all fucking squats, lunges, and jumping while doing them, aka this better make my ass look phenomenal. Seriously, by the time I finish this round, my ass better be damn near on my shoulders. I think it’s a more reasonable goal now that I can actually do squats. Three months ago, the area around my hips was so tight that I couldn’t even get into a squat properly. I was all head down, leaned over, and not even getting my quads parallel to the floor. Today, I can get past parallel. Or, I can when I properly handle the knot that’s currently residing in my left tensor fasciae latae and it’s being a total jerk at the moment. I need to talk my chiropractor into some Graston on that leg. Not because it causes me pain, per se, but because it’s hindering my split progress.

It’s Tuesday and that also means I get to go to Noodles and Company for some Thai Hot Pot. I don’t know what I’ll do with myself if/when they take that away. It is at about a 16 on a scale of 1 to 10 for a deliciousness factor. I couldn’t even put it into words. Just go find a N&C and find out for yourself. I don’t eat the peppers. I don’t know for sure what they are and I don’t want my mouth to be on fire.

And, it’s Zumba Tuesday. I missed the last two weeks as P90X was kicking my ass, but now I’m in the groove and I’m ready to get my cardio on and shake my ass. Makes me happy after a long day of sitting at a desk and banging my head against the nearest metal object.

Last night was a good night since I passed my level. However, last night was also a bad night since I remembered to take my glucosamine and fish oil pills that made my tummy rumble something fierce. Yikes. But, no bubble guts, no bubble butts. Of course that’s not true, but it rhymed.

Ok kids, I’m off to be productive. It’s Tuesday but it’s also my Thursday. Snowboard jumps, here I come!


Hmmm, March already. I must be getting old because I swear we just started this year last week. But, there’s no point in going backwards when there are so many good things to look forward to this year. Things like, achieving those dreams. Split and fit is what I’m going for.

With 91 days until vacation, the most awesome thing I could use right now is an accountabilibuddy. I’m going to work my tail off (well, hopefully not off, but maybe up) to really push through this round of P90X (back to the original) with doing Ab Ripper and following it with stretching. It’s likely that my writing will suffer because of this as there’s only so much time in the morning and I’m not getting up at 4:30. 5 is my early morning limit unless we’re flying out on some ass crack of dawn flight, which we’ve been known to do.

So yes, for the next 90 days, this is going to be focused around working out, getting that effing split, and vacation. I’ll try to keep it interesting for those who hang in there and still stop by on a daily basis. No measurements, no pictures unless I’m flat on the floor in that split, just me blathering on and you suffering through because you’re troopers! Way to go! Great work on  your part!

What’s on your agenda in this new week? I’m looking at pole class, Zumba, firing range, maybe more Zumba, and mostly looking forward to getting to the mountains on the weekend but never forgetting a shoutout to my dad who would have been 69 this year. Still miss ya, man! Go forward and spread good cheer even though it isn’t Christmas, k?

You Ran Out Of Words

Someone please get me one of these outfits. I guess the jacket is all I need, well, maybe some huge ass gold earrings and a necklace too. Ok, so I need 3 jackets, lots of bling, and 2 people who want to recreate this video with me. I’m laughing hysterically at my own ridiculous ideas. Let me know if you wanna make that happen.

Yesterday I weighed myself at the gym. Big mistake. The scale lies. But I’m gonna see what it says after I lop about 5 inches off of my hair because this stuff is out of control at this point. Some of it is reaching my butt and that’s just too long. I think I’m going to bring it up to about 3 inches below my shoulders. That could be 5 pounds. Probably closer to 3, but too much nevertheless. For now, I’m going with I’m just muscular and that’s why I weigh the most I ever have in my entire life including pregnancy. Sheesh, scale. See why I don’t like you?!?!

It’s a mid-week break. Today I get to come home right after work and simply relax. No workshop like Monday, no Zumba like Tuesday, no work outing like Thursday, and no chiropractor like Friday. I don’t know how I accidentally strung together such a busy week, but I certainly will try not to do it again. Somehow, even with all these things going on, the week still drags. Because….

The more I get paid, the more I appreciate time off. Why? Because these mofos are driving me damn near insane, and we all know that was a short drive in the first frigging place. I love my job. Or at least that’s what I keep telling myself.

Shorty today. I was struggling to get this much. Perhaps after today’s decompression, I can come back fresh tomorrow morning with something that will make you laugh or smile or just wanna open up the damn link and read. See ya then.

Well, It Isn’t

The video quality there is not so hot, but it ain’t my fault.

Sorry, this post doesn’t really go along with the song, but it was the last thing I heard before I got out of the car last night and I knew that I wanted to use it this morning. This morning, where I’m coming to you live from the basement, either in pigeon pose or foam rolling my inner thighs. Have you ever foam rolled your inner thighs? Like down towards your knee? I’ll let you in on a secret. IT FUCKING HURTS! Damn you, fascia! Damn you, ego, for wanting to move around like a 20 year old when you never even started stretching until  you were almost 30. Damn you hot knives jamming in my leg..oh no, that’s just the roller. It might be possible that I have the tightest hips on the planet. I think I need more hot tub time. Yeah, that’s the ticket. The bonus is that I can have it, I just have to make my way over to the gym. Best $20 a month I spend without doubt. I’m up $20 a month after only going to Zumba. Everything else is a double bonus.

I’ll tell ya what is not a bonus. It’s barely been above 30 degrees here for the last week. I do not mind the temperature because I spend very little time outside when I’m not fully dressed for it. What I *do* mind is the return of spiders. In case you buggers didn’t know, which obviously you didn’t, it is NOT yet spider season. I do not wish to see you (blurrily) out of the corner of my eye when I am working out/stretching/doing yoga. How do you think I can focus on what I am doing when I constantly have to worry about where you went?!?! I’d ask how you even got in, but that would just be a stupid question. I mean, you are a spider and you’re kinda small. Big enough that I’m concerned you might have the ability to bite, but still small in the grand scheme of things. Hear that, spiders? You’re still small UNDER MY SHOE! Today, you live. Tomorrow, we’ll see.

Last night I went to my first group pole class in I don’t know how long. Ugh. I’d call myself a deer on ice skates, but that would be too graceful to describe the hot mess that I currently am. Nothing like a little hiatus to take you back to square negative one. Some takeaways from class include I need to stretch even more (or get new hips), P90X3 may not be nearly enough and I might need to lift, and flow, flow, flow not herk-e. Jerk-e. I’ve not made it to the section yet that really involves weights as that’s in another 2 weeks, but I could see myself going back to the original. It might totally mess up my morning routine, but it’ll be worth it. Probably crazy with this morning routine, but you know, goals and junk.

Just as I suspected, this short week is well on its way to taking forever. Even when I have classes after work, somehow things are still slowing down. Every now and again, I consider more Zumba, but I try not to leave my poor hubby all by his lonesome too many times a week even though he is supposed to be playing Rocksmith while I’m out working out. Tough being married to me, all being expected to play video games. Ah, that reminds me that I haven’t played my own set of video games in a while. So much to do, so little time. Still have to catch up on the first three episodes of The Following. Did manage to catch up on The Blacklist though. I honestly never knew how much I loved James Spader until this show came along. Not young James Spader, now James Spader, particularly as Red. Easily my favorite tv villian-ish guy. I think these are the characters I enjoy the most. Give me a Red Reddington or a Hannibal Lechter any day. Yes, I’ll probably end up tv-dead, but it’ll be fun while it lasts.

Alright, I’m about to go head-to-head and toe-to-toe with Tuesday.Keep  your guard up and strike when your opponent’s guard is down. Work the jab and throw in a combo here and there. Don’t go flat-footed and let’s get that KO! Yeah, watch boxing much?