Insert Techno Beat Here

Move – slowly out of bed
Shake – the headache I woke up with
Drop – it like it’s hot

This morning was a tough one indeed. Don’t you just hate when you wake up with a headache? I do and I did. Luckily there were no weights involved in this morning’s workout. I actually skipped the assigned P90X for the day so I could do my new DVD. I heard about it through a 90 day splits challenge group to which I belong. It’s called Fit & Bendy and it’s by Kristina Nekyia, who is trained in all kinds of flexy stuff.

The DVD goes for approximately an hour and is broken up into 6 sections, I think.  It’s been several hours ago. First there’s an all-over warmup, followed by a splits warmup, stretching for splits, shoulder/back warmup, backbend work, and a cool down. I was familiar with all of the stretches in the video, however, each of them had its own little tweak that made it new. Mostly the new stuff involved PNF.

Realistically speaking, the all-over warmup isn’t enough of a warmup for me personally. I think I need to put in a half hour of cardio or something to that effect before I really feel warm enough to get a good stretch going. I would imagine that most folks would need a little more, but on the first time out, you live and learn. I’m not going to go through every single thing in the video, but there are hamstring, quad, and groin stretches in the splits part, working for both front and center splits as well as upper and lower back stretches in the backbend section.

At the end of the video, I was tired. Granted, it was also 6:30 in the morning and I was fighting a headache, but it’s more than just stretching and less than a full-on workout. The best part of it all didn’t happen until about 2.5 hours later when my body felt GREAT! I really and truly felt as though I was taller and just had better overall movement.

Let’s take an inventory by memory of the current list of items in the stretching arsenal:

·        Fit and Bendy DVD

·        Cleo the Hurricane DVD (Which I don’t use because I don’t find it to be safe for my body)

·        Valentino Brothers DVD (front split, side split, general stretching)

·        P90X (1,2,and 3) DVD (there’s some sort of stretching in each of those)

·        Foam roller

·        Lacrosse ball

·        Maxi-Flex stretching band (ha, go look that up)

·        Daily glucosamine/chondroitin (yummy fish oil burps)

With all of these things, one might imagine that I will certainly get that MF split soon. At least I better.

Porky Pig just popped out of a cartoon window and I second what he said.  That’s all folks!


Hmmm, March already. I must be getting old because I swear we just started this year last week. But, there’s no point in going backwards when there are so many good things to look forward to this year. Things like, achieving those dreams. Split and fit is what I’m going for.

With 91 days until vacation, the most awesome thing I could use right now is an accountabilibuddy. I’m going to work my tail off (well, hopefully not off, but maybe up) to really push through this round of P90X (back to the original) with doing Ab Ripper and following it with stretching. It’s likely that my writing will suffer because of this as there’s only so much time in the morning and I’m not getting up at 4:30. 5 is my early morning limit unless we’re flying out on some ass crack of dawn flight, which we’ve been known to do.

So yes, for the next 90 days, this is going to be focused around working out, getting that effing split, and vacation. I’ll try to keep it interesting for those who hang in there and still stop by on a daily basis. No measurements, no pictures unless I’m flat on the floor in that split, just me blathering on and you suffering through because you’re troopers! Way to go! Great work on  your part!

What’s on your agenda in this new week? I’m looking at pole class, Zumba, firing range, maybe more Zumba, and mostly looking forward to getting to the mountains on the weekend but never forgetting a shoutout to my dad who would have been 69 this year. Still miss ya, man! Go forward and spread good cheer even though it isn’t Christmas, k?

Mistakes Get Made

Oh, Monday, how you sneak up on a girl. Jerk.

While snowboarding on Sunday could quite possibly be “the thing”, it also is a bit of a bummer because we got back home yesterday and I immediately realized that the weekend was over. Tears may or may not have been shed. But of course, Monday brings good with it and not just work.

Good, but a conflicted good. You see, today I have a spin pole workshop with some ladies I used to dance/train with until I walked away a while back. Why did I walk away? Ask the chorus up there. Not all of it, just never shined through in what I’ve shown. I really feel like that sentence sums up my previous attempts at dancing. I have stories to tell and it’s as though I have writer’s block of the body. I am really and truly hoping that the time away has been helpful. I know I’ve lost a lot of pole muscle, but I can get that back. I think that the time away has freed me up a little from the constraints I placed upon myself. Ah, the pole world – you labeled me, I’ll label you. And we’re all unforgiven whether it be by ourselves or those we used to call or still call friends.

Between just wanting to be able to move today and trying to early morning prep for this evening’s workshop, I spent quite a bit of time stretching this morning. First the warmup from Dynamix to wake up the body, then a shoulder opening sequence, followed by the requisite split stretching (down to the yoga block having to be pushed to get under the space left on the good side), and ending with a little lacrosse ball to the glutes and hip flexors. After showering, it’s a quick big marble to the neck and shoulder where it’s sore with the anti-inflammatory cream and I’m ready to go to work! Yes, I am slightly off my rocker. I’m ok with it though.

On on!

I’ve put the vacation countdown on the whiteboard. Hubby thinks I’m a little nuts, but it’s kind of a reminder for me of how long I have to get into bikini shape. I saw a furry bikini that just made me smile…almost laugh, and considered buying it since I don’t go in the water, I only walk around the edge of the  pool. I did think that hubby might be slightly mortified walking around with me while I’m wearing it, but he wouldn’t say so. I’ll spare him and get something a little more normal. This time. Good morning, breakfast. Egg whites, spinach, and tomato, it’s good to see you guys again. Grapefruit will be joining the party soon. Skim milk isn’t invited back though. Salads are gonna make their return next week too. It’s a healthy party!

With that lunacy, I’m going to leave you to your Monday. Because my laptop batter is dying and I have to take that aforementioned shower. More fun tomorrow when I’ll probably be even more sore but hopefully I’ll have fun spin pole stories to tell. There’s a whole big world out there. Go get it!

Well, It Isn’t

The video quality there is not so hot, but it ain’t my fault.

Sorry, this post doesn’t really go along with the song, but it was the last thing I heard before I got out of the car last night and I knew that I wanted to use it this morning. This morning, where I’m coming to you live from the basement, either in pigeon pose or foam rolling my inner thighs. Have you ever foam rolled your inner thighs? Like down towards your knee? I’ll let you in on a secret. IT FUCKING HURTS! Damn you, fascia! Damn you, ego, for wanting to move around like a 20 year old when you never even started stretching until  you were almost 30. Damn you hot knives jamming in my leg..oh no, that’s just the roller. It might be possible that I have the tightest hips on the planet. I think I need more hot tub time. Yeah, that’s the ticket. The bonus is that I can have it, I just have to make my way over to the gym. Best $20 a month I spend without doubt. I’m up $20 a month after only going to Zumba. Everything else is a double bonus.

I’ll tell ya what is not a bonus. It’s barely been above 30 degrees here for the last week. I do not mind the temperature because I spend very little time outside when I’m not fully dressed for it. What I *do* mind is the return of spiders. In case you buggers didn’t know, which obviously you didn’t, it is NOT yet spider season. I do not wish to see you (blurrily) out of the corner of my eye when I am working out/stretching/doing yoga. How do you think I can focus on what I am doing when I constantly have to worry about where you went?!?! I’d ask how you even got in, but that would just be a stupid question. I mean, you are a spider and you’re kinda small. Big enough that I’m concerned you might have the ability to bite, but still small in the grand scheme of things. Hear that, spiders? You’re still small UNDER MY SHOE! Today, you live. Tomorrow, we’ll see.

Last night I went to my first group pole class in I don’t know how long. Ugh. I’d call myself a deer on ice skates, but that would be too graceful to describe the hot mess that I currently am. Nothing like a little hiatus to take you back to square negative one. Some takeaways from class include I need to stretch even more (or get new hips), P90X3 may not be nearly enough and I might need to lift, and flow, flow, flow not herk-e. Jerk-e. I’ve not made it to the section yet that really involves weights as that’s in another 2 weeks, but I could see myself going back to the original. It might totally mess up my morning routine, but it’ll be worth it. Probably crazy with this morning routine, but you know, goals and junk.

Just as I suspected, this short week is well on its way to taking forever. Even when I have classes after work, somehow things are still slowing down. Every now and again, I consider more Zumba, but I try not to leave my poor hubby all by his lonesome too many times a week even though he is supposed to be playing Rocksmith while I’m out working out. Tough being married to me, all being expected to play video games. Ah, that reminds me that I haven’t played my own set of video games in a while. So much to do, so little time. Still have to catch up on the first three episodes of The Following. Did manage to catch up on The Blacklist though. I honestly never knew how much I loved James Spader until this show came along. Not young James Spader, now James Spader, particularly as Red. Easily my favorite tv villian-ish guy. I think these are the characters I enjoy the most. Give me a Red Reddington or a Hannibal Lechter any day. Yes, I’ll probably end up tv-dead, but it’ll be fun while it lasts.

Alright, I’m about to go head-to-head and toe-to-toe with Tuesday.Keep  your guard up and strike when your opponent’s guard is down. Work the jab and throw in a combo here and there. Don’t go flat-footed and let’s get that KO! Yeah, watch boxing much?

Slave To The Grind

Nothing starts out your Monday morning like some Skid Row, right? It was really a rhetorical question.

Four day week! At least in our house. Which means, of course, that these four days will take the equivalent of about 6 days. Hopefully having four days off in a row combined with the joy of an income tax refund (that just gets used for paying bills…how boring) will overcome the daily drudgery. Fingers crossed. Four days then I can get that monkey. Off.My.Back.

By the way, Skid Row, saw them in concert back in the day. They opened for Aerosmith. I went with my mom. She found perverse uses for the binoculars. End of story.

Oh, Monday. I wish you didn’t have to be so rough. I know you wouldn’t be if I could do better on weekends, but it’s so tough when all I wanna do is lay around  and eat bon bons or white cheddar Cheetos, take your pick. I promise (myself) that when we hit 90 days in that countdown, the workouts get real (or more real than they already are) because it’s bikinis and vacation and I’m vain.  Wait, let’s make that I’m VAIN. I’m ok with it cuz, hell, I look pretty damn good for 40.

Now, if I could just feel as good….hips, you will be my bitches. Hamstrings, you will comply and loosen up enough, along with your hip co-conspirators,to allow me to get into this front split before the end of the year. I wonder if training oversplits would help me get the regular ones. Someone told me that once. I don’t recall this person’s name, but said person was uber-flexible.

I feel like I should write a lot more here, but at the same time, I’m at a loss for words. Hit it, Baby D. So, yeah, that reference was for all 3 people out there who understand it. I’ve got to go kick Monday in the arse. Have a great day and know that you can do it. Put your back into it.

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