rain

The vacation recap

So I'm a little slow in posting this.  I'm okay with that. 😛

There were photos.  I mean other than the random ones that I posted from my phone.  Of course, they're in my Flickr account.  A lot of them will look similar since I found the function on my camera that takes a bunch of pictures in a row.  I tried to keep those ones toward the end and keep the more interesting ones in the front for your viewing pleasure.

  • Friday – Typically, we wouldn't leave until Saturday morning, but we got the word that the house was ready so after work we packed up all of our stuff (why can't we ever travel light?) and hit the road.  iPhones make for great timewasters especially when you can play with the GPS.  I'd guess it was close to 10 by the time we made it down to the Keys so there wasn't much to do but unpack and rest.
  • Saturday – Good morning, RAIN!  You suck!  You kill outside plans.  But Lovey's mom cooked for us and damn was it good.
  • Sunday – The plan was to go out on the boat.  Some friends were coming down and we were to make a day of it.  Guess what?  Good morning, RAIN!  YOU STILL SUCK!  Good evening Lovey's mom.  You make the most fantastic dinners.  EVER! (do I really wonder why I can't lose any weight?!?!)
  • Monday – It's still raining.  But you know what's fun in any weather?  Knocking down some pins!  Yeah, bitches, we went bowling.  I LUUURVE bowling.  I can't help it.  I practically grew up in a bowling alley and knew how to keep score before I was 10.  Later on, I bowled with my folks in a league.  Good times.  But I digress.  COSMIC bowling!  Yeah, I was p-s-y-c-h-e-d (psyched is what we wanna be, get psyched, alright Leps, get psyched).  I donned my bowling shoes (just noticed that cafepress has a gajillion bowling shirts!)

    and found a ball that wouldn't rip my arm off and got set up.  Let's just say that these particular lanes haven't necessarily been well taken care of.  If you've been bowling or watched it, you might see folks slide on that last step before releasing the ball.  Yep, tried that and damn near fell on my face AND broke my knee off.  Damn you humidity.  Know what else humidity does?  Warps lanes.  Oil might help the situation but I think there was only one small patch on the entire lane.  I'm about a 150 average (on the Wii, lol) and maybe about 120 or so when I was bowling for real, so bowling under 100 didn't please me.  Oh, and when you hear the ball bump over the warped part of the lane, over the music, I might add, it's just time to throw in the towel and finish the pitcher.

  • Tuesday – Would you believe it was a little rainy?  Apparently it hadn't rained in months before we came but thankfully it could rain for three straight days on our vacation.  Oh well.  At least I got to sleep in and drink the pineapple/mango/Parrot Bay combo all day.
  • Wednesday – Let's hit the road to Key West!!  We stayed in the most awesome place!  Their pictures don't do it justice.  We rocked the "private suite".  It was like a little apartment.  Schweet!  Last year, we walked everywhere.  This year, we came better prepared with our bicycles.  Much easier to stop back at the hotel when it only takes a couple minutes. Hello frozen drink containing grain alcohol, bourbon, 151, vodka, lemonade and grape juice.  And hello delicious food!
  • Thursday – Giddyup!  Continental breakfast, chillin in the pool, laying around, riding bikes, taking pictures, SWEATING!  So, so hot.  Nighttime bars that included live music and a ridiculously drunk local that I have a picture of but am too lazy to upload.
  • Friday – Back north to Key Largo.  We must chill on this last day and chill we do.  There's nothing like the freedom to do nothing.  Ordered subs from a local place that ROCKED!
  • Saturday – Home again, home again.  It's always nice to go on vacation but it's just as nice to come home to the familiarity of my own bed!

And that's it in a nutshell, kids. 

 

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Today, the universe hates me

Why would I make such claims you might ask?  Maybe this is best explained in bullet points.

First, though, let me say that it's okay to laugh.  Yeah, I'm mad but I'm also laughing.

  • Today in our office it is 10 degrees below zero.  Which is 10 degrees colder than usual.  My sweater means nothing today.
  • Storms are rolling in and out like crazy.
  • I am on a diet.  But sometimes, I just need some junk food.  Today happened to be one of those days.  It was dark out, but it was not raining.  I jetted across the street to McDonalds.  If I'm gonna splurge, I'm going big.  So, gimme a number 2 (QPC meal) and oh yeah, let me have a Key Lime pie too.  Yeah, it's piggish but I've had practically nothing but Weight Watchers food for three weeks now.  Money handed over and back to the office I go.  But guess what, now it's raining and raining hard.  I pick up the pace a bit.  All of a sudden, my bag seems a little lighter.  Why?  WHY?  WTF?!?!?  The bottom fell out of the bag placing my french fries, QPC, ATM card, telephone and Key Lime pie on the ground in a puddle.  My exact reaction?
  • MOTHERFUCKER!!  The bums standing around loved that one.
  • Bums were kind enough to pick it up and silly enough to ask me if I was gonna eat that.  Are you kidding me?!?!  People piss on these streets and this little bit of rain isn't enough to clean it up. I don't care if it's still in the box, it's in a PUDDLE!
  • $7 down the drain.  Literally.
  • Now I'm back in the office – cold, wet, and without my junk food, eating what?  You guessed it, another Weight Watchers meal.

Life's a bitch and then the universe grabs the bottom of your Mickey D's bag.

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