office supplies

ROCO Friday – The Dumbest

Good morning, congregation! The Rev. SteelerShyner greets you with a hearty ROCO! It is indeed Friday, and thusly we celebrate the day with our cocks out whether they be literal or figurative. For verily, thou hast made it through another week. And whether that week was full of work or just full of shit, you conquered it nonetheless. ROCO!

Dearest congregation, as is the norm, we have two very different topics today. Let me start by asking you – what is the dumbest thing that you have ever done? I have a laundry list of stupidity. I’ve done some things that could have gotten me seriously injured or killed (looking back at them – I didn’t think that then).

Of course, as kids, we jumped out out or off of things into or onto other things that we thought would magically cushion our falls and somehow always did. I grew up country so I had my share of ATV incidents. I’ve walked across the outside of a train trestle (not really a big one but in this case I don’t know what else to call it). I’ve escaped some frostbite. I’ve gotten in cars with people who shouldn’t have been driving. I’ve gotten into cars with COMPLETE STRANGERS and driven DISTANCE and lived to tell about it. Crashed my own car once where I thought things were gonna be over. Walked around foreign countries alone (where you don’t speak the language)? Yep. Gotten drugged in one of those foreign countries? Yep. Walked around NYC as a 19-year-old female late at night alone? Sure, why not? Mild electrocution? A couple times. Dated (and almost married two) a bunch of fucking idiots. (Not you, J) So, suffice it to say, I’ve done my fair share of dumb shit.

Today, friends, I came to the realization that I topped the charts in stupidity. I made this grave realization when I wanted to pay for breakfast this morning. I realized that I didn’t know where my ATM card was. Shit. Fortunately, I had other ways to pay and breakfast was still obtained, but SHIT! Where’s my ATM card?!?!

As I started to backtrack my life, I came to a stunning realization. One, I don’t leave the house very often, and two, I THREW AWAY MY FUCKING ATM CARD! How, praytell, did you do that, smart one? Welp. It all started when I needed to pick up my prescription from CVS. I didn’t want to get out of the car so I went through the drive-thru. If you’ve never been through their drive-thru, you send your payment method through their zoomie and they put your payment method (if it’s a card) back in the bag with your prescription and send it back through the zoomie. Well, I got home and not thinking about it, I put my pill bottle where it belonged and THREW AWAY THE BAG. Fuck. I didn’t even realize I did it (that was on Tuesday) until today. Card canceled, no harm no foul. But damn. That was some stupid shit. I think I’ll go in from now on.

Now that the mystery has been solved, I can move on with my day. I promised you two topics and here comes the second one. My desk is an absolute disaster area. Truth be told, I have too much space for too much shit (actually I just don’t have enough space to properly space out my shit so it doesn’t look/feel cluttered) and sometimes I may just let things pile up. Well, this morning, I had enough so I decided I needed to straighten it up a bit. (Full disclosure, sometimes you can see my desk in my pole videos and I’m not trying to have that.)

As a former administrative assistant, former server, former bartender, and former restaurant manager, I feel some sorta way about office supplies. Like, I love them. I can never have enough of them. If I were a hoarder, it would be office supplies and books. I know I’m not alone. I love notebooks. Cracking a fresh one open. Having different ones in different shapes and colors for different things (that I don’t do). Mmmmm, yes. And writing utensils? GTFOH. Just gimme all of them. So here’s the desk straightening tally:

  • Calendars/planners: 3
  • Other notebooks: 6
  • Calligraphy pen: 1
  • Highlighters/markers: 20
  • Stick eraser: 1
  • Mechanical pencil: 1
  • Colored pens: 13
  • Erasable colored pens: 8
  • Regular black/blue pens: 15
  • Colored pencils: 60
  • Art pens (glitter and shit): 120

Quite obviously I have some issues but I don’t think I’m ready to address them just yet. Just know that I’ll always be prepared to take notes and get that receipt.

Well, the rest of the things I need to do today ain’t gonna do themselves, so I’m off to do it. ROCO y’all and have a great weekend!

It’s My World

Uuuuuggggh. Over the course of the last 11 days, I have started three blog posts, this being the third. Let’s see if this one gets all the way to completion and posted. I really would have been great on Tumblr because I don’t always have enough thoughts for a full blog post, but I have some super one-liners. In my opinion, anyway.

So back on the second, I had my video and everything. Living On A Prayer because we were halfway there. Halfway through the year. And honestly, about that, WTF?!?! How did half of the year get by us already? Yikes. If I made New Year’s Resolutions, now would be the time I would look at them and go, oh shit, I haven’t done any of this. But, I decided back in January that I wasn’t going to do that. I was making New Day Resolutions, giving myself 365 chances to get it right instead of one. I think my NDR was to simply be better than the day before or something like that. Probably not, dammit. Now I have to look.

Ok, I had 5 NDRs. Exercise/yoga, meditate, handstand, write/blog, flow. As we sit beyond the halfway point of the year, I probably haven’t been doing well with my NDRs outside of exercise. I think today just happens to be an “on” day for me as I will likely hit all the points today. I guess that the halfway point of the year is a great point to get back on track since I completely forgot about those things. Mind you, even though I forgot about them, or I haven’t been actively thinking about them, it doesn’t mean that they haven’t been happening. The writing takes the biggest hit, followed by flow. Exercise happens 6 out of 7 days because that’s an ingrained habit already. Handstands happen here and there. Man, I gotta get on the fucking ball. Anywho….

Yesterday, I had started another post as well. Monday is the day that the landscapers come, so the video was for Oh So Quiet because OMG why can’t they STFU. Yes, I realize they have a job to do but come on, Mantequilla, I have work to do also. I have this thing about silence and how much I enjoy it. I mean complete silence. At most, nature sounds from birds. I don’t want white noise, the tv, the radio. Just shhhhhhh. For whatever reason, me and focus aren’t friends, so any little thing is shiny and a squirrel for me to look at. I’ve been trying to get better at focus, but that is a really long work in progress.

Back to today, I’m for sure going to hit those NDRs. I might even pull the tracker back out because I’m feeling a little bit encouraged. I love to fill in a block or use coloring pencils or crayons (and I have a ton of them, lol) so yeah, that sounds like a good idea for today. Or maybe even the whiteboard (I have three. I’m mildly odd with office supplies. We have more writing utensils in here than Office Depot.) Come on, excitement train! Keep on rolling!

So yeah, this is my world. Some days it’s mad hectic and some days it’s shut all the fucking way down. That’s just how I roll. That sounds worse than the reality is, but I’ll paint outside my lines and you can paint outside of yours.

While I’d love to stay and chat, I have several things to accomplish including getting myself prepared to teach three pole classes over the next 7 days. One of those is my normal class and two are levels which I don’t usually do – one beginner, one not so beginner. I love planning classes but I hate the stress of planning classes. Fortunately, everyone is laid back and will enjoy whatever we do. Feels like a shit ton of conditioning before we do anything though. HAHAHAHAHA. Yeah buddy. Level three? You oughta be strong by now. You aren’t? You oughta be working out with me, lol.

Well, none of the things I need to do are gonna get done while I’m sitting here writing things that no one is going to read. Have a wonderfully magical day, imaginary readers!

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