There is a reason that I should be writing things down as I think of them or making some sort of audio note of said things. That reason is I freaking forget them. Case in point, I had a topic for a blog yesterday in the later afternoon, but of course, by this point the next day, I’ve forgotten what the topic was. Really sucks, because I thought it was a good one, but apparently not good enough to remember. *shrugs*
I’m at day 24 of the shakes. I’m going to say I’m actually on day 22 because there have been two days where I did not have a shake. That’s not too bad. I’m still not feeling any adverse reactions. I’m not expecting to, but stating that there aren’t any.
Body is still doing its regular things of slim down/bloat/slim down. Menopause is the only thing that’s gonna make that stop and it will come with its own whole new boat of issues. Mood remains level even through pre-, D-, and post-MS. (yes, moods for pre, during, and post period)
It’s 3pm now. That sums up the day. It’s been research-heavy all day and my eyes may fall out of my head soon. Of course that’s an exaggeration. I hope. But I’ll tell you that I’ve seen enough error logs for today.
Talk of these logs is once again proving that I have some sort of education ADD. I have a folder of bookmarks for education. On the list of things I want to learn: WordPress, leviwand, hula hooping, rollerskating, silk fans, and FabPole.
Each of them has the ability to hold my attention for mere moments. Ugh! This is why I have a meditation practice (I’m trying to) in the mornings. Get focused and get on with the day. I’m finding that I may need a second session around mid-day to get re-centered.
I still have a few things to knock out for work and for play. Hopefully at some point I’ll remember what I wanted to write about yesterday and get it done. Til then.
Uuuuuggggh. Over the course of the last 11 days, I have started three blog posts, this being the third. Let’s see if this one gets all the way to completion and posted. I really would have been great on Tumblr because I don’t always have enough thoughts for a full blog post, but I have some super one-liners. In my opinion, anyway.
So back on the second, I had my video and everything. Living On A Prayer because we were halfway there. Halfway through the year. And honestly, about that, WTF?!?! How did half of the year get by us already? Yikes. If I made New Year’s Resolutions, now would be the time I would look at them and go, oh shit, I haven’t done any of this. But, I decided back in January that I wasn’t going to do that. I was making New Day Resolutions, giving myself 365 chances to get it right instead of one. I think my NDR was to simply be better than the day before or something like that. Probably not, dammit. Now I have to look.
Ok, I had 5 NDRs. Exercise/yoga, meditate, handstand, write/blog, flow. As we sit beyond the halfway point of the year, I probably haven’t been doing well with my NDRs outside of exercise. I think today just happens to be an “on” day for me as I will likely hit all the points today. I guess that the halfway point of the year is a great point to get back on track since I completely forgot about those things. Mind you, even though I forgot about them, or I haven’t been actively thinking about them, it doesn’t mean that they haven’t been happening. The writing takes the biggest hit, followed by flow. Exercise happens 6 out of 7 days because that’s an ingrained habit already. Handstands happen here and there. Man, I gotta get on the fucking ball. Anywho….
Yesterday, I had started another post as well. Monday is the day that the landscapers come, so the video was for Oh So Quiet because OMG why can’t they STFU. Yes, I realize they have a job to do but come on, Mantequilla, I have work to do also. I have this thing about silence and how much I enjoy it. I mean complete silence. At most, nature sounds from birds. I don’t want white noise, the tv, the radio. Just shhhhhhh. For whatever reason, me and focus aren’t friends, so any little thing is shiny and a squirrel for me to look at. I’ve been trying to get better at focus, but that is a really long work in progress.
Back to today, I’m for sure going to hit those NDRs. I might even pull the tracker back out because I’m feeling a little bit encouraged. I love to fill in a block or use coloring pencils or crayons (and I have a ton of them, lol) so yeah, that sounds like a good idea for today. Or maybe even the whiteboard (I have three. I’m mildly odd with office supplies. We have more writing utensils in here than Office Depot.) Come on, excitement train! Keep on rolling!
So yeah, this is my world. Some days it’s mad hectic and some days it’s shut all the fucking way down. That’s just how I roll. That sounds worse than the reality is, but I’ll paint outside my lines and you can paint outside of yours.
While I’d love to stay and chat, I have several things to accomplish including getting myself prepared to teach three pole classes over the next 7 days. One of those is my normal class and two are levels which I don’t usually do – one beginner, one not so beginner. I love planning classes but I hate the stress of planning classes. Fortunately, everyone is laid back and will enjoy whatever we do. Feels like a shit ton of conditioning before we do anything though. HAHAHAHAHA. Yeah buddy. Level three? You oughta be strong by now. You aren’t? You oughta be working out with me, lol.
Well, none of the things I need to do are gonna get done while I’m sitting here writing things that no one is going to read. Have a wonderfully magical day, imaginary readers!
It’s been a long time. Shouldn’t have left you. Left you without a FUCKING PRESIDENT for the last four years. Oops. I got a little excited there. But yeah. America. Dust yourself off and try again.
Ok, ok, the country on fire isn’t what I wanna write about today.
Did you make New Year’s resolutions (NYR)? I did not. Eff that madness. I’m all about New DAY resolutions (NDR). I’m all about knowing how I work. It’s been 47 years so I think I have it mostly worked out. I know that I’ll fail at NYR before the end of January so why would I set myself up for that?!?! Why would you? Why would anyone?
I suppose if I were making NYR, it would look something like lose 10 pounds, have a better handstand, write a book, get better with my flow toys, and be a better person. LOLOLOLOL, right? It’s so general. And so many people try to run their NYR that way and then in January of the next year wonder where they went wrong. I’m trying to break out of that rut with the NDR.
I’ve spent enough time in Corporate America hell to know how to set goals. SMART ya heard. That’s specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, and time-bound if you haven’t heard the spiel. What I listed before as NYR – not SMART. I tried to make my NDRs SMART. I guess really that I have five mini goals to get to my big daily goal of finishing my tasks. Every day, five quests upon which to journey on my way to GoalLand.
Exercise or do yoga – 30 min min, 60 min max
Meditate – 5 min min
Practice handstands – 5 min min, 10 min max
Write/blog – however long it takes to expel the word vomit
Flow (rotate through the poi, wand, hoop, fan, pole through the week) – 10 min min, no max
Those five things don’t seem like a lot of things and they aren’t. But like I said, I know how I am. I need to build a habit before I add something else to the mix. So I’m not stressing myself if I don’t make it to GoalLand every day. I know I won’t get to a blog post every day. We’re in the middle of a pandemic so I don’t really leave the house much. I love my home life, but there simply isn’t that much that happens that would merit a blog post. Of course I have a book of writing prompts and I thought I might combine the week of prompts or just pick one to do for the week and if I like more than one, I would write more than one post. Nooooo pressure on me. No pressure = I start enjoying writing again. I’m really hoping that happens because as I’ve said before, I have books in my head that need to get out.
The exercise/yoga is the easiest one. I’ve been in that habit for over ten years. I’ve been a fan of the BeachBody programs since the P90X days. They keep me (mostly) focused and typically produce results. The fasted workout is how I start my weekdays. Saturdays get studio time (and also counts for flow for the day). Sundays are for rest. Or golf. Or a hike. But I try to rest a day. I’m 47, remember?
Is the best way to get out of your head by going into your head? I hope so since I’m adding this mediation goal. Hubby’s job offered up a Headspace subscription so duh, of course I’m gonna take advantage of that. And the guy has a great accent so it’s pleasant to listen to him.
Acouplafew years ago, I had a really strong handstand game but for whatever reason, I fell out of my practice. I want those stripes back and the only way to get them is to put in the work. I know you’re looking at those numbers and thinking that 5 to 10 minutes doesn’t equal putting in the work, but I’m here to tell you that you’re wrong. WRONG. When I first started self-teaching this, that’s all I would do. Go out there and give it a shot for 5 to 10 minutes. As I got a little stronger, I started going to workshops to learn more. And although every workshop lasted no less than 60 minutes, we were never on our hands for all of that time. The constraints I had instinctually placed on myself turned out to be the knowledge passed on of not doing hour upon hour of handstand work at a time. Wrists aren’t made for that sort of pressure, so you gotta ease em into it. Like anal.
Ahh the flow toys. I think it started when I won a hoop on Instagram and snowballed pretty fast from there. Then I needed another hoop. Ooh, look a wand…it’s like magic. Oh, hey, where are my old poi? One more hoop won’t hurt. LED lights for the end of my wand?!?! Yes please! Yeah, I need twin hoops for doubles. Hey Christmas! Thanks, hubby! LED poi! So yeah, that’s kinda how it went. Now I have a lot of toys and I’m working to get better at them all. Nope. Never one at a time. All the things, all the time.
Those are the things. Accomplishing them all in one day gets me a ticket to GoalLand. For all intents and purposes, we are through the first week of the year and I have yet to get that golden ticket. I’m ok with that. I feel pretty good about getting four out of five by February. Change takes time, folks. You don’t have time? I bet you have more time now than you would next year when you’re looking back saying you shoulda started then.
Another week has flown on by. As much as I dislike admitting it, time really does start to go faster the older you get. With nearly three quarters of 2013 gone (ok, more like 7/12), I can only wonder where the heck the year went. I do feel as though I’ve learned some things so far this year, though, and that there’s still more to take in before the year closes.
Something I never would have thought was possible seems to be happening. I’m staying fit simply by doing yoga three times a week. Or, at least, that’s all I’m doing in the gym. I laid off the cardio machines (and my hip thanks me), and I stay away from the weights. We’ll see if it continues to work out this way as I’m only basing this on about a month’s worth of yoga. But here’s hoping.
I’m also learning that it isn’t necessary for me to go balls to the wall 100% of the time and everything doesn’t have to be all or nothing. So maybe it’s taken nearly 40 years, but I’m finally getting to a point of being ok with just doing what I can. Can’t expect others to accept me as I am if I can’t accept myself. I’m a work in progress.
Meditating has positive consequences. Maybe not the first time, maybe not even the second or third, but if you stick to it and really give it the attention it needs, it works.
Sidebar: As I write this, I am sitting in my back yard, enjoying the sounds of the wind in the trees and taking in all the green. Unfortunately, one of our back neighbors is also at home. He is in a band. He plays the guitar– which I can handle. He is also singing. I am fairly certain that he does not sing in the band as he is more than a little off key. If he is singing in the band, well, it’s not a great wonder that they’re still playing locally.
With the guidance of my yoga instructor, Lexi, I’ve been working on unblocking/clearing my heart chakra as I’ve mentioned. Yesterday, I tried a different method that she mentioned and not only did I feel an emotional weight lift, there was a physical aspect as well. Later in the day after my meditation, I started to feel slightly congested, or moreso as though I was at the end of congestion. It was really neat to me to have this happen – the physical unblocking – although at the time I did wonder if I was just getting sick. The body is a really wild tool that we possess.
In non-body related news, I’m very much looking forward to this weekend. We’re taking a staycation down in Denver tomorrow night, complete with dinner out (likely at Edge because we love that place), a hotel stay, and Pirates baseball on Sunday afternoon. I’ll be that annoying girl with the huge Jolly Roger raising it as the Buccos take out the Rockies, hopefully in a sweep. Let the games begin…baseball AND football. Black and yellow till I die!
When we last left our superheroine, she was light-headed and falling over in her asanas…
Yesterday morning, I was wrestling with some things in my head which nearly overwhelmed me. I considered not going to yoga at all, but then I realized that not going just wasn’t going to help anything. So, off I went to the gym.
One of two things is going on. Either 1) I am getting better at this or 2) the instructor was taking it easy on us. I honestly don’t know which it was, but what I do know is that I felt like we were just getting started and it was already time for Shavasana. I am beginning to look forward to and enjoy this class. Sometimes, it is difficult to continue focusing on my breath, but I do my best.
On Monday, as you may remember, meditation was suggested. If you know me, you know that I have a pretty tough time sitting still. This week, I gave up coffee. I’ve been having a lot of Vanilla Rooibos tea. As a result, I am exhausted and one grumpy ass mofo. While I try not to take it out on others, I don’t always succeed. However, I digress.
After class, I was putting away my mat and the instructor asked how I was doing. My honest answer was “meh”. She asked if I had been meditating and I fessed up that I had not, possibly could not, do this. She has more faith in me than I do. She said that I should look into yoga nidra and that I could find downloads on iTunes. “You really should try this. Your body wants to meditate. I can tell.”
I have no idea what kind of silent signals my body is giving off that says I need to meditate or that my body wants to my brain is holding up progress. I do know it gives off that stupid neon sign that says “talk to me” that always blinks brightest when there’s a creepy guy nearby. But, if my body is giving signals that I’m oblivious to but others can see, I will take her word for this for now.
Like a good student, I downloaded the things that my instructor mentioned, and tonight, before bed, I will try to listen to at least ten minutes of them. They’re supposed to help you sleep better. I typically sleep as though someone has hit me in the back of the head with a blunt object so I’m assuming that this may put me into a temporary coma. I’ll let you know. Assuming I wake up tomorrow. Namaste.