2015

ROCO Friday – Safety Meetings

The congregation is at a near frenzy. The thought that the good Reverend might be returning today has an excited buzz rolling through the crowd. Electrified whispers start at the front of the room and spread to the back. Suddenly, a hush falls across the room as a solitary figure steps towards the pulpit.

*clears throat*

Good morning, my dear friends. You have been missed. Please know that the Reverend MiamiShyner has been itching to get back and speak to you. Let the congregation say ROCO.

Today, this wonderful Friday, let us talk about dancing, dancing safely, and safety meetings. We might also touch on the paranormal, but first things first: dancing. Oh yes, we all do it. Whether you admit it or not, at some point, probably today, you’ve either busted out a dance move, no matter how small. Perhaps you’re doing choreography in your head right now. If so, good on ya. If not and you haven’t even thought about busting a move today, get up and do so. I’ll wait……

Yeah, Tina. Get it.

That’s also about how I look when making attempts at dancing. Yep, I am the anti-stereotype. Black girl that can’t sing or dance and has no ass. I also hate watermelon and fried chicken isn’t high on my list of loves either. On the whole, I haven’t dated within my race (OMG, the horror!) and that’s not how I married. I contributed to the world interracial fund with a daughter and I think everyone else should too. Let the congregation say ROCO. But I digress.

Weekday mornings, I rise from my slumber and head to the yoga dungeon/workout lair/basement to visit with Shaun T. You know, you gotta love a Shaun T workout, unless it’s any of the Insanity ones in which case you can kiss the crack of my black ass. But Hip Hop Abs, Rockin Body, and Cize? Yeah. All day, every day. It’s dancing and dancing is fun. Or, at least, what I call dancing is fun.

Shaun T says everyone/anyone can dance. You know, I hate to call shenanigans on him, but I have to disagree. Everyone/anyone can follow choreography. Not everyone can dance. Like me, for instance. I can follow your choreography and get it down pretty quickly. Does that mean I look like I’m dancing? Nope. People around me might be doing the same thing and looking like they’re dancing, but I’ll look like I’m having a seizure. So, yes, everyone can follow choreography when broken down correctly, but not everyone can dance.

And I can’t dance safely. One might think for the activities in which I participate, that I would be much less of a klutz. But no, guess again. I fall over my own feet in any sort of complicated footwork, and this morning, I managed to strain my side. Dancing. Maybe I should just call what I do spazzing. The harder I try, the worse it looks, lol. You don’t believe me? Go ahead and watch that little clip below and laugh. My left side! It hurts, lol.

There you go. Proof that I can’t dance. And especially not safely.

I can, however, and have been known to in the past, ahem, conduct a safety meeting. What? I’m unapologetically me. I don’t do things to hurt others. And as long as I stay on that path, I’mma do WTF I want. Just like Eric Cartman. And, I live in Colorado, so bite me. Bite me like I’m a weed infused cookie that you’re dying to try.

Anywho, on a completely different topic, do you ever wonder if your house is haunted? When I was a kid and my great-grandfather died, we moved into his house. Now, we’re talking early 80s here. When houses were sturdy but wiring was probably questionable. After we moved in, odd stuff happened. Lights would turn off or come on of their own volition. A few electrical-type things happened, but the adults laughed it off. Once, just once, I heard an adult say that it was Grandpap doing it, but I think they also realized that I overheard that so then it became a full-on force about wiring. Adults, they’re crazy. Kids, they know the paranormal truth.

Jump ahead about 30 years and here we are in this house. We really know nothing of the history of it, and fortunately a Google search doesn’t turn up anything. However, the reality is that this neighborhood is basically a retirement community which means the probability of someone having passed under this roof is probably high. Not anything to be frightened of in my book. Many were the times I went into my grandparents’ house after my grandfather had passed there. I lived in my parents’ house after my father passed there. And now, on occasion, I hear people talking (and I make sure it’s not the landscapers) or I’ll hear music when I know that it isn’t coming from anything I’m doing nor anything my neighbors are doing. Fun, right?? I’m still waiting to experience something definite. I’ll let you know.

In the meantime, however, I’m off to do some Friday-type shit. Wishing you all a good weekend and a better Pittsburgh sports night tonight than last night was. #cutScobee

Hello, October

It’s Buctober!! Yes, after that 20 season drought, our Pittsburgh Pirates are in the playoffs for the third consecutive season. This is the year. This is the one where we go further. I’m hoping with everything I have that this is the year that we go all the way. I mean, who doesn’t want to see the Batman go out on top? AJ has put it in for us and I hope we can return the favor in this, his last season.

You know that song isn’t only about the Battlin’ Buccos (#theseguys), but it’s also all good for the gridiron gang, the Renegades, the Steelers. Even though our number one guy is holding it down on the sidelines with a bum knee, we still take the field strong tonight against the hated, dirty, filthy Ratbirds of Baltimore. May the good guys prevail.

On to non-sports related items. On Tuesday, I caught up with an old buddy and we went to work out together. Good times! The text messages the next day were pretty hilarious as we realized that we’re a little out of shape and we commiserated on our pained muscles. Yep, we’re sore, but not so sore that we won’t try it again next week. Cuz we’re silly like that. And I need to get out of the house at least once a week to see people besides the one I’m married to. 🙂

In that same vein, more or less, for the last 2 weeks, I’ve been taking two supplements (which I got for free in exchange for an honest review). One is Ashwagandha (say that five times fast) which is sort of a stress reliever/fog clearer, and the other is a joint support formula that has glucosamine, chondroitin, and MSM. More for me than for you, so I remember what I want to write in my month-end review, neither produces immediate results, which is typical. I’m a chiropractic regular, so I asked my guy how long it would take before I might feel any effect from the joint combo. He said probably around two weeks and that’s where I am now. First, though, let’s talk about Ashwagandha, going forward known as Ash.

As I come to a close on the second month of my new job, I feel as though the Ash is helping. A new job is always a little stressful and this one is tie-one-on-inspiring. I promise you that three weeks ago, when I made it to 5 o’clock, walking away from my computer was the biggest relief in the world. Walking away was usually accompanied by some sort of relaxing function…like beer. Currently, 5 o’clock rolls around and I’m still happy to be done with my day, but I’m on a different mental level. I’m not feeling like I want to throw shit or punch puppies or bawl my eyes out. Just happy to have finished another day of work. I haven’t been overly upset with anything else either. And I’ve adopted a life’s too short kind of attitude. We’ll see how that all pans out. Go Ash!

Now, for the joints. Maybe you know, maybe you don’t, that I have a small partial tear in the labrum of my left hip. The tear itself doesn’t really cause any pain, but the muscles that tighten up around it trying to do their protection dance are real jerks. And, let’s face it, I’m not getting any younger and yet I keep putting my body through the paces of a younger person. In return, my body does most of this shit but lets me know it isn’t happy by groaning and creaking and sometimes crunching.

The crunching usually happens in the knees whenever I’m going down into or coming up from a squatting position. Has it stopped completely in the last two weeks? No. Has it gotten a little less loud? Yes. Joint point!

My feet. They’re a train wreck. My toes tend to raise up off the ground and I look ridiculous when I walk. Combining stretching, my gua sha tools, and the joint combo looks as though it may make things a little better. My toes almost lay flat on the floor when I put my foot down now. By the end of the bottle, maybe they’ll be normal and I’ll stop putting holes in my fucking sneakers because of my mangle-toes.

Back to those hips. They don’t lie. They also don’t really like me. But, they’re warming up to me as I keep feeding them the joint combo. Notice I said warming up and not opening up because, even though I put in work on them for the month of September, there was only a tiny bit of progress. But hey, I guess I can’t expect magic in 30 days after 30 plus years of abuse.

So, we’ll see what comes of another 2 weeks of this horse pill regimen. Because if I can keep choking these things down, I can do anything! Like stand on my hands. I WILL accomplish this…before I turn 45, lol. Giving myself a little buffer.

Have a great night, folks. Get behind my boys tonight. All of them! #blackandyellow

Adventures in Baseball

Since we’ve been out here in Colorado, I do believe that we’ve made it to at least one game of each Pirates/Rockies series. This year was no different. It took a while to decide which game to attend since there was a 4 game series this time. Originally, I considered Wednesday evening AND Thursday afternoon, but then I changed jobs and didn’t have the ability to take the day off on Thursday. Sad face. BUT, it became a no-brainer when I found out that the Batman was pitching on Monday.

After the first tough decision comes the second of where to sit. Typically, at most games, I would sit along the first base line because that’s where most of the action is, but since it’s been all away games when we go (Pirates and Marlins), we’ve taken to sitting on the third base side. I contemplate switching it up and then I can’t bring myself to sit on the home team’s side. StubHub has been, and remains, my go to for tickets to almost anything. When I logged in there and found some club seats for $16 (!) each, I knew we had a winner.

As is typical for Coors Field, or any baseball field/stadium for that matter, food and drinks are overpriced and not as tasty as you want them to be. Expected. As is typical for an away Pittsburgh game, there were plenty of Pittsburgh fans to be seen, repping the city. We had some behind us, some in front of us, some to the right (we were on the aisle) and even the usher at the top of the stairs was a Pirates fan even though he’s lived in Denver for the last 50 years (which likely meant he’d been somewhere else for at least 20, but more on him in a minute).

The game itself was pretty spectacular. A lot of action and not much of it negative. Happy to see AJ in person one last time before he hangs up the cleats. ICYMI, Pirates won it 9-3. Remember that usher (his name is Carl)? Once on a trip back from the restroom, Carl wanted to chat me up. Ok, I can deal, it’s a Burgh thing. Yeah, until he calls me over and wants to stroke my arm in a totally creeper way. Dude! Pretty sure I managed not to flinch. He’s harmless. It was just unexpected. And weird. And a little yucky. But I survived.

Downtown Denver after dark. I don’t dig it. I’ve done my fair share of downtowns after dark: Pittsburgh, Miami, New York, but Denver actually leads the scary list. Yes, over New York. As Lovey and I were walking back to the car, well, there was plenty of blog fodder, but I’ll keep it to this:

We’re walking down the sidewalk and we’re approaching a group of five young men (and I use that term VERY loosely) sitting on a wall that we have to pass. I move a little closer to the edge of the sidewalk toward the street as I was a step or two ahead of Lovey. We gave each other the eye, confirming we were both aware and prepared for any bullshit in 3-2-1-now. As I’m passing, one of them screams, literally screams at me, “HEY!” Now, first of all, I’m no stranger to people with penises not knowing how to speak to people with vaginas. But really? Trying to scare the shit of someone isn’t the best way to try to grab their attention. Besides, it’s so disrespectful. Holla holla holla holla holla holla holla.

After this penis person’s “greeting”, I whipped my head around and gave him the most evil eye I could muster. Somehow, it wasn’t until the evil eye was thrown that Penis Yeller put two and two together that Lovey and I were together. Congrats, genius. And now that you know you have no chance (but really, you NEVER had a chance. NEVER. Because I’m way past the point that someone sitting on a wall with his boys at 10 at night might be of interest to me. 20 years past. But anyway) of getting anything beyond said evil eye from me, you turn your focus to Lovey. And you have the audacity (and maybe you know what that word means), to tell Lovey that “You better keep an eye on your girl *spoken loudly*, because I’m out here *spoken softly*” LOL!! I’m not gonna call you out your name here, but son, you done lost your motherfucking mind. Both Lovey and I know that I don’t need to be “kept an eye on” because I can handle my shit. And yeah, you’re out here. Out here not doing one damn thing. Oh Penis People, you never cease to amaze and astound me.

And that, my friends, is a night in Denver. Where even in the club seats at Coors Field, a mouse will run across your foot. Peace!

It’s. My. Life.

It’s my life
It’s now or never
I ain’t gonna live forever
I just want to live while I’m alive

Sometimes, we (meaning I), just completely forget this. It is my life. I’m not gonna live forever. And I do want to LIVE while I’m alive. It really literally isn’t now or never, but figuratively, it might as well be.

Last night I was handed some interesting news regarding my job. Nothing bad, just something that may cause me to be way more “in front” than I was planning to be quite so soon. While my job has been new and exciting thus far, things are gonna ramp straight up to overdrive next month.

After I had some time to absorb this news, I started thinking about my own well-being. I started thinking about the things that I’ve seen others do that I want to be able to do. I started reminiscing about the things that I used to be able to do and my body balks at them now. And I started thinking about how if I didn’t make a change, there would be no changes forthcoming.

Typically, I would have this revelation and then say to myself, OK! We’ll start this on Monday. But that’s how I would usually do things and the usual way hasn’t been getting things done. I decided to start this morning. During the week, I’m always up at 5 to get my workout/yoga in before I start work. I slack for a while and check Facebook/Instagram/email/Candy Crush before I get moving. Then before I know it, I’ve wasted too much time and I haven’t gotten everything done that I wanted to do. Yes, I’ve wasted too much time to complete things in an almost 3 hour window. Moral of the story: smartphones are the devil.

With this newfound (ha!) insight into my life, I figured I would try something new. The devil was to stay on its charger until AFTER I finished all the things I needed to do and it could come out to play when it was Instagram time. Whaddaya know, it worked! This morning I got my groove back with Cize (Shaun T), then probably bruised up my core with my weighted hoop, and finished it off with some yoga focused on the second chakra as it is Sacral September after all. Know what? It felt great! Something as simple as leaving that fucking phone alone left me all kinds of time this morning. Even enough time to buzz and gua sha my leg.

Buzz = using my magic wand to loosen up muscles and gua sha = something similar to Graston which you’re just gonna have to look up on your own. You’re welcome. You learned something today.

Even though it’s only been one day, I feel that I am now on the right path. I can start to believe that I am exactly where I need to be. This path of putting down the electronics and getting on the mat and being more present is where I need to be. A little more fit and a little more happy is where I need to be. I can see the path I should be on to meander around where I need to be and perhaps those branches that lead to where I can go.

I’m a work in progress, even at 41 years old. I’ll probably always be a work in progress and that’s ok. If you’re not making progress, then what are you doing? Question I had to ask myself. Do you need to ask it of yourself? Are you where you need to be? Do you know how to get there? Do you even want to? These questions – and many others – can only be answered by you….or the next episode of Soap. ( I SO hope that the theme song started playing in your head!)

Until the next time, all 4 of my readers, I hope you find all that you are seeking.

Ha! Hoo Ha!

Ah yes, the kung fu. This song was number one on the charts somehow when I turned 21. I am NOT that old.

So, hey, September already. Summer is pretty much gone and snowboarding is right around the corner. Someone wanna explain where all that time went? Please?!?!

With August came a new job. First month down and it’s been interesting to say the least. First time working in a true startup. I have so many ideas but I really have to try to dole them out a little at a time. I can be overwhelming. 😀

Now I’m mostly into the swing of things and I’m taking multi-tasking to a whole new level. It’s kinda crazy but fun. And keeping on that multi-tasking idea, I’ve gotten back on my yoga mat. I’ve been pretty disconnected but I’m working my way back. I’m spending this month focusing on the sacral chakra, where creativity and emotions lie. I’m hoping that opening that bad boy up will help with my writing processes along with some other issues that need to be addressed. I’m ready. After doing nothing all of August thanks to injury, it’s time. Cardio with Shaun T every day, yoga every day, handstands every day, or at least attempts at them. Hopefully I’ll come away with something that makes it all click a little better on Saturday’s handstand workshop.

While it’s only September, and the beginning of it at that, can I tell you that I’m getting excited for Christmas? I know, I know. It’s way too early to even be thinking about Christmas and usually, I wouldn’t be. However, since we moved, I now have an absolute shit-ton of space which means I can put up both the tree AND the village this year. Bradford Exchange is not helping my problems by showing me stuff like this:

In case you didn’t know, I just love me some collectibles. And if your decision is to hate on the Steelers, that’s your business, please just move it along. I won’t be using this space to defend myself or whom I support. Anywho, it’s a big Christmas year this year! I still don’t want to deal with presents (and we mostly don’t), but I’mma decorate the shit outta this house.

Other notes of interest, to me at least, include that I should have some more fun photos at the beginning of next month. I swear that one day, I will get better at being in front of the camera. I need to learn to relax out there (I should probably just have a beer first) and try to enjoy myself…and stop looking at the photographer. Photogs around the world likely just can’t stand working with people like me, lol. Totally uncomfortable, face-making, no pose having, only look good when I’m guffawing with a totally open mouth people. That’s me.

You’d think that I’d have more to talk about, but no. So with that, I wish you a great day. It’s hump day after all, Mike Mike Mike Mike Mike. Peace!

2015

ROCO Friday – Safety Meetings

Hello, October

Adventures in Baseball

It’s. My. Life.

Ha! Hoo Ha!

You Missed

Nothing To See Here

Too Damn Slow

Ghosts (of Days Gone By)

Raunchy Activated