To buying crap I see on TV. I must be every marketing team’s wet dream.

Not only do I see it and want it, I can fully rationalize why I need to have it. While any product might catch my attention, skin care and fitness stuff is where I’m the biggest sucker. It isn’t as though I have all of this disposable income, but sometimes I just can’t help myself.

It started in earnest with Zumba. I had been to a couple classes and really enjoyed it, so when I saw that I could buy it and have it at home, yeah, I bought it. Granted, it’s currently assisting me as I’m going to do the Zumba certification at the end of the month, but for a long time, it sat idle.

Along came Shaun T. and his Hip Hop Abs. Wow! That looks like fun. I bet I could do that. Effing infomercials. And hey, this is a perfect way to get in shape before the reunion (Club Med). Cha ching, cha ching, jackpot, I think I’m in love. Honestly, I recommend the videos. They are fun and they do work. I received several compliments from folks that I hadn’t seen in some time that I was still rockin it out with my bad self.

It doesn’t end there. When it comes to skin care, I’ve tried so many things. I have horrible skin. I’m 36 and still breaking out like I’m 16. I eat right and try to drink lots of water, but the genes I have are the genes I have. Proactive? Been there, done that. Dermatologist prescribed stuff? Yep, done that too. Oil of Olay Regenerist (that’s supposed to take away the lines and darkness around the eyes)? Yup. Didn’t really work for me.

My latest skin care products? Neutrogena Tone Correcting line. Why? Because Gabrielle Union said it worked for her. Sure, she has money out the anus and probably a super dermatologist, but IT WORKED FOR HER or so she claims. It might actually work for me. It’ll be a week on Sunday that I’ve been using it and it is lightening up my raccoon eyes. We’ll see if it does anything for my blotches. Probably not more than ceasing and desisting with the picking would, but hey, I’m already a week in.

And now, I’ve seen another infomercial. Shaun T. is up to his old tricks. He has a new set of videos called Insanity. I’ve been seeing it for months now and I’m itching to buy it. Rationalization? It’s a 60 day program. Hip Hop Abs is a 30 day program. I can start HHA at the beginning of February, rock it out, take maybe a month of rest (doing other workouts) then start Insanity at the beginning of April, ending it at the beginning of June, just in time to be a brick shithouse for the wedding. Go ahead, argue with that reasoning. I dare you.

I’m really considering this. I don’t know how to stop. I need help. From the lottery so I can keep buying stuff. If you’ll pardon me, I have to go. There’s a pole dancing class that’s calling my name.

Say What?