stories

Ghosts (of Days Gone By)

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaassssssssssssssssssssssssssssss! Of course, I recognize that everyone doesn’t have 30 minutes to watch this whole thing but you really should. The pertinent area here starts at right around 11 minutes.

As I start to feel myself more when I dance, I can’t help but think back to my first dance experiences which all revolved around choreography. I guess not all the way back to the Zoise Baer days of tap and ballet and black Little Red Riding Hood. We’ll keep it more recent than that. Not even the times in elementary school when we’d get together and put together some dance to whatever song struck our fancy at that time. Those definitely prepared me for when I got to learn more choreo.

The dance you see here between minutes 11 and 15 was one of the first dances I learned for choreography at Club Med. Granted, it was a shortened version, but it’s still a lot. I mean, at the end of the day, it Michael Jackson! We killed that shit every week in the Halloween show. Yep, we ran a Halloween show when it wasn’t even Halloween. (Oh, stomping off stage at 15:40, lol)

Sidebar: how funny that I just had this very similar conversation, unprompted, in IG messages, lol.

So yeah, I come from choreography and when I started being forced to ‘freestyle’, my go-to move was to hide or openly refuse to do it. Of course, this does not foster growth. I stuck to tricks and choreography forever. But little by little, here comes freestyling.

Part of freestyling that I didn’t really recognize was that, by doing so, I get to tell my own story. Choreography is telling someone else’s story in your voice. Freestyling is laying your soul bare for everyone to absorb. And a LOT of the time, I didn’t want anyone seeing that. It was dark and sad and choppy and broken. But guess what? That makes for pretty dance. Don’t shake your head for me. We’re all a little broken if we’re being honest with ourselves.

I think freestyling will come in stages. I’ve already broken through the ‘fuck this’ wall and I’m peeking around the corner. Next step will probably be dancing around naked with both middle fingers up yelling fuck what you think because there’s no easing into things. Throw yourself off the cliff and hope to catch some air and land softly. Is that the best plan? Probably not. Is it the plan that’s been going strong for many years? Yeahhhhhh.

The random stream-of-consciousness posts continue. Cut me some slack. It’s been a long hiatus. I’m getting my shit together. If you’re reading this, tell me if you would be interested in hearing me read you naughty stories, perhaps in lingerie, definitely for a fee.

It Has Begun

Another year gone by, another January 1 present. BFD.

Here I am again because I said I would start writing again a couple months ago when I was complimented on my verbal musings. On the ‘for me’ side, this is therapy. It probably won’t be great to start as I’m gonna have to prime the pump again, but hopefully the stream will smooth out over time. I think that I’ll have to go back to writing prompts as well. Coming up with things on the daily was a lot easier when I left the house, but those days are long gone.

Hilariously, the prompt is “Practice Makes Perfect – talk about a talent you’d love to have but don’t.” Before I go through my self-deprecating list of talents I don’t have, we should clarify talent vs skill. Talent is what you’re naturally good at, so for me, that’s breathing. Skill is something you’re good at through practice. So, I try to believe I have some writing skills. That’s about where we land.

Now talents I’d like to have? Sheesh. Flexibility, because yeah, some people are naturally flexible. It would be cool to be able to sing or dance well. Is balance a talent? Is mental health? *laughs maniacally*

Can’t have what we can’t have, kids. I can’t have what I can’t have.

Spent some time perusing old posts to see if I already told this story, but I couldn’t find it and I need to fill up some space so here we go:

Back in the high school days, my only talent was probably narrowly avoiding getting in trouble. I was too much silly and too much energy and too other things and not enough something else. Being “gifted” gives you a certain amount of leeway (that completely fucks you later in life but that’s another story we all know about. read a meme) that kept me out of detention. I mean, that and a healthy fear of going home and explaining that.

As some things don’t change, my sense of humor then was similarly as fucked up as it is now. If it’s inappropriate and I’m not supposed to laugh, well, yeah, I’m gonna laugh.

Here I sit at a table with my friends in a class called Creative Meals & Childcare with a teacher with a slight lisp. I am pretty certain that I had come into the class wound up and the events that transpired were classic me.

For whatever reason, even though it’s fucking high school, we’re taking turns reading aloud from the book. The book. About childcare. And I’m a sophmore who’s 2 years younger than everyone else. And I have a giggle problem. Because I am a trouble magnet, I have been called on to read what’s next.

It’s the childcare portion of the class and we’re learning about changing diapers and safety. The paragraph I’m reading talks about how you always have to keep one hand on the baby so it doesn’t roll off the table. Did you laugh right there? Because I sure as fuck did in the class. The struggle was REAL to continue reading as the teacher asked me if I thought a baby falling off a table was funny. Of course it isn’t, but you asking me if it is, yeah, that’s funny. Just another incident of scooting by trouble and brushing all up against it but never getting in it.

I think that’s it for today. I feel a little better than I did when I started. Session concluded. Come back tomorrow (or whenever I manage to post again) for another trauma response or some erotica. You never know so you’ll just have to stay tuned.

Nothing to do

My brain is off on some sort of vacation and I need to try to lure it back because we have things to do, contrary to the title of this post.  I guess I will try luring it back with fun stuff.  So off I went to the Writer's Digest site for some thoughts on what to write about.  When I get inspired, I will take their topics and make funny or disgusting stories for your amusement.  Enjoy.  Just not right now.

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All the nothing and nothing more

I've had several nightmare-free nights of sleep and it's been wonderful.  There really is nothing like a new mattress.  I'm going to proceed with my suspicions and blame the nightmares on something I ate, namely roasted chicken from Winn Dixie.  We ate it on Sunday night and I had nightmares.  We ate leftovers on Monday night and again I had nightmares.  Tuesday we had pork chops and a perfectly sound sleep.  No more Winn Dixie chicken for me.

I performed my civic duty on Tuesday.  My voting center is an assisted-living facility or at least I think that's what that building is.  The area in which I live is primarily Republican.  The vast majority of the older crowd is definitely Republican.  I'm okay with that even though they're holding up progress.  What I'm not okay with is the lady working the polls not being okay with my political affiliation.  She looked me up and had me sign and then looked again, saw that I'm a registered Democrat and said (in a super bitchy way) "Oh, you're a Democrat" like being a Democrat is equal to being a serial killer.  No, I didn't report her and I didn't punch her in the face.  Why fight with the old?  I don't want to be the cause of her heart attack.

I got a nice new shiny screen for my laptop as the other one decided to go BLAH.  Be accident or on purpose, I paid for a regular screen and got a glossy.  Hooray for semi-freebies.  It is taking me a while to adjust to the shiny screen though.

Last, I would appreciate it if you're awake tomorrow at about 9:30am EST, send some good vibes my way.

Lurve my Voxers.  Are you listo?  HEP!

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Only funny at home

I love my daughter.  I love my boyfriend.  I love the bonds that we share.  Stories that are told in our house are somehow only funny to us because we get each other.  That, my friends, is love.  Or there's something funny in the air at home.

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