rollin

Girl, Look At That Friday – Journey #5

Alright alright alright. Friday is in the house. You know who else shows up on Fridays? That’s right, the Reverend SteelerShyner. The Rev is in the house and looking forward to hearing the congregation in full throat. We do a call and response. I say “And the congregation said ROCO” and you say “ROCO!” Pretty easy, right? Let’s warm it up. It’s Friday, and we ain’t got shit to do. And the congregation said ROCO. You may also JOCO if you are more comfortable with that. I’m all for picking your chosen genitalia.

And now, my good people, my lovely congregation, let’s get on with it. Today’s soundtrack is heavily BBD based. Never trust a big butt and a smile, and the congregation said ROCO. If you are not running your day with a soundtrack, you’re definitely missing out. Music will make all tasks that you might not necessarily want to complete get done that much faster. I mean, work goes way faster when I’m doing glute isolations in my chair as I type, lol. Go ahead, try it.

TL/DR: Cool shit happens when you join a BOD group. The Fit Inn is waiting for you.

On to the journey. As previously mentioned, I’ve been doing Beachbody workouts since 2009. I’ve been subscribed to BeachbodyOnDemand (BOD) since 2017. Huh. That’s a long time. Anywho, when you sign up for BOD, you get a coach. I really never paid any attention to that part of it; I just went in and did my workout and that was it. Fast forward four years and I see that my pole idol is now doing Beachbody and she’s a coach. We connected and I switched over to her as my coach.

Well, she’s invested in her coaching business and so she runs her BOD Group like a champ. (A BOD group is an online room where we encourage each other, ask and answer questions, and just be silly.) After four years of using the programs, I started actually using the program to its fullest. I joined her group when we started doing #mbf (muscle burns fat), then continued on with Let’s Get Up (oh, just had the opportunity to talk to Shaun T and his hubby Scott on their IG live, no biggie), and now we’re doing 645 and I just received my 2 week invite to be in Amoila Cesar’s (!) BOD group where we can chat directly with him and ask him questions. In case you somehow missed it, Amoila is the trainer for the 645 program. Yup, direct access!

So yeah, it’s legit. I’m kicking off my baby BOD group, The Fit Inn. The Fit Inn is where we get it in. I’m so clever. Let the congregation say ROCO!

Alright, today’s shake is in my belly (peach mango). I’m absolutely full of fucking energy. There’s no need for coffee. I’m waking before my alarm and I’m mostly staying awake until I’m ready to go to bed. Happy that I’m not having an afternoon crash as it moved itself to around 8:30 after I’ve had dinner and a shower. I suppose that’s fair. I kinda gave my body all of the time to rest signals and then I expect it to not rest for another 90 minutes. I’m a dick.

I just saw Fred Durst’s selfie from Instagram. Remember back when I talked about reading Rollin’ in a smoking jacket with a pipe? Fred Durst is now set up to do it his damn self! Please let this somehow get to him and he actually does it. Me getting credit would just be a bonus.

My mood may be slightly improving considering that I’m not ready to knock anyone’s block off and my period just started. We’ll take that as a win. No weird cravings but still hungry often. I’m probably going to have to have a look at what I’m eating and add more freaking calories. Yes, more. Feed the beast. No poop details today. It happened and that’s enough.

I think that’s gonna be it for me today. Even though I’ll be working out tomorrow and having shakes both tomorrow and Sunday, I probably won’t be checking in here again until Monday. Writing deserves a weekend break and besides, I have my other job and shit. 🙂 Have a great day and an even better weekend! ROCO!

Hot Cross Butters Buns

Welcome to today’s rollercoaster that is my stream of consciousness. There’s a lot going on with this one and it may not make any sense because I will probably just let it all fly. This is what it’s like to live with me.

Keeping the streak going with day two of giving you this brain dump. That’s part one of rolling. Of course, that led me to think about the song itself. It’s hilarious to me and made even more hilarious every time I think about the commercial with the lady with this stuck as the only song that would play in her car. I’m listening to it as I write this and I mean, chocolate starfish. How do you not laugh at that? Also, this got seriously sidetracked as I got way too into the song.

In my all-inclusive resort days, we did a lot of sketches and I always thought that this would be a funny one.

Lighting Cue: Dark Stage. Red spotlight on subject, soft yellow light to illuminate the area around the subject.

Scene: Fireplace, rug, side table with lamp, cushioned chair. Subject is wearing a smoking jacket, has a pipe and a large hardcover book.

Subject: <looks up at audience, opens book, clears throat> *tone: deadpan serious* Chocolate starfish.

Subject: <turns page, clears throat again> *read in a not-quite-Shattner way* Hands up. Now, hands down.

Subject: <brings hand to ear> Tell me. What are you going to do now?

Keep rolling, rolling, rolling.

What?

Keep rolling, rolling, rolling.

Come on.

Keep rolling, rolling, rolling.

Yes.

I promise you that this would be funny. Some of us talked about doing it but that was also in the days of small ears around so you couldn’t really be funny with the cursing. Ahhh, bummer.

This is also how the stream works. I had a whole bunch to say, but I also have work to do while I’m trying to get this all out. It just so happens that I almost always get interrupted and then kaboom! Where did all of those great ideas go?!?! Sumummabitch.

This is also how the stream works. Yesterday was tits out Tuesday and so I was thinking that today would be wangs out Wednesday but wangs is so boring. Maybe the Mid-Week Middle Leg? Wee Wee Wednesday? Wieners Out Wednesday? (That’s a definite possibility, h/t Leopold Butters Stotch) Oh yeah, it’s gotta be Butters.

Now that has been decided, the serious work can begin. *insert hard eye roll cuz we ain’t doing shit over here*

But speaking of whipping things out, about 25 (holy shit) years ago, I lived in New York. There was a radio station with a show that did all kinds of silly things, but one of the two that I really remembered was W.O.W. Whip em out Wednesday. They legit had bumper stickers printed up and tons of people had them on their cars. All you had to do was have one and you might, on a Wednesday, be the lucky recipient of a pair of flashed titties. (I was never a flasher…it was pre-boob job, lol) It was pretty amusing and somehow there was never a cop around or you never heard about anyone getting in trouble for it. Hmmmmmm. Probably wouldn’t fly today.

Ok, that’s it. I’m keeping it short and sweet. Come back tomorrow and I’ll tell you something funny again. Or you can ask me something in the comments and I’ll probably answer you, lol. Or you can request a story. PG-13 is the max dirty unless you wanna pay for it. 🙂

See ya tomorrow!