Jump!! Training

Ahh, Diamond Dave. With a split better than mine. Go head, DD. Couldn’t nobody mess with you back in the day. Well, you know, except Eddie and Alex. It has nothing to do with you that my favorite Van Halen song is actually a Van Hagar song, but Dreams, come on.

So it’s Tuesday and you ¬†know what that means…plyometrics, aka jump training, aka all fucking squats, lunges, and jumping while doing them, aka this better make my ass look phenomenal. Seriously, by the time I finish this round, my ass better be damn near on my shoulders. I think it’s a more reasonable goal now that I can actually do squats. Three months ago, the area around my hips was so tight that I couldn’t even get into a squat properly. I was all head down, leaned over, and not even getting my quads parallel to the floor. Today, I can get past parallel. Or, I can when I properly handle the knot that’s currently residing in my left tensor fasciae latae and it’s being a total jerk at the moment. I need to talk my chiropractor into some Graston on that leg. Not because it causes me pain, per se, but because it’s hindering my split progress.

It’s Tuesday and that also means I get to go to Noodles and Company for some Thai Hot Pot. I don’t know what I’ll do with myself if/when they take that away. It is at about a 16 on a scale of 1 to 10 for a deliciousness factor. I couldn’t even put it into words. Just go find a N&C and find out for yourself. I don’t eat the peppers. I don’t know for sure what they are and I don’t want my mouth to be on fire.

And, it’s Zumba Tuesday. I missed the last two weeks as P90X was kicking my ass, but now I’m in the groove and I’m ready to get my cardio on and shake my ass. Makes me happy after a long day of sitting at a desk and banging my head against the nearest metal object.

Last night was a good night since I passed my level. However, last night was also a bad night since I remembered to take my glucosamine and fish oil pills that made my tummy rumble something fierce. Yikes. But, no bubble guts, no bubble butts. Of course that’s not true, but it rhymed.

Ok kids, I’m off to be productive. It’s Tuesday but it’s also my Thursday. Snowboard jumps, here I come!

Death to Iggy(s)!

I have a friend, we'll call her H.  H is very low-maintenance.  Always there when I need her.  Haven't had a problem with her since we met in September of 2005.  Some may say that I'm not the best friend to H.  I've left her alone in the rain and at times, I've driven her harder than she prefers, but overall, things aren't so bad between us. (In case you hadn't figured it, H is my car.)

H has, what I at first believed to be, quite a cushy parking spot.  She's out of the direct sunlight most of the time, shaded by either our house, or the great mango tree in the front.  She used to be happy there and I used to be happy she was there.  Now, things have changed.

Iggy (and his wife/life partner) have moved in.  There was no warning, no moving van, no "Hi, we're the new neighbors".  The only way that I know that the Iggys are around is that they've taken to leaving presents for, or I should say on, H. 

The Iggys have made a residence in the mango tree.  For the most part, they're quiet neighbors and you wouldn't even know they're there except for one glaring huge middle iguana finger thrust at me on a daily basis….

THEY SHIT ON MY CAR!

I will soon wash the paint off of H because of the daily washing that she needs because the Iggys are disgusting pigs.  If you weren't aware, iguanas poop in much the same way as birds.  LARGE birds!  Every morning I go out to my car, half asleep, to find the present of the day.  Today, it looked as though the Iggys put in a joint effort.  There's a large section of my back window that I cannot see out of.  It's gross.  It's annoying.  It's offending.  Some folks want to call someone to take them away, but as I believe that the Iggy family are all either spies or CIA agents, or Jack Bauers in training, they are never seen. 

Now, I am angry.  Do not look for me, do not call me, for I will not be around.  I am becoming one with the Iggy family.  I will hold vigil in my front yard with the necessary equipment to remove the crapmakers.  I will think like them, I will look like them, I will eat like them, and I will kill them.  Hopefully before I poop on someone else's car.

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