flow arts

It’s My World

Uuuuuggggh. Over the course of the last 11 days, I have started three blog posts, this being the third. Let’s see if this one gets all the way to completion and posted. I really would have been great on Tumblr because I don’t always have enough thoughts for a full blog post, but I have some super one-liners. In my opinion, anyway.

So back on the second, I had my video and everything. Living On A Prayer because we were halfway there. Halfway through the year. And honestly, about that, WTF?!?! How did half of the year get by us already? Yikes. If I made New Year’s Resolutions, now would be the time I would look at them and go, oh shit, I haven’t done any of this. But, I decided back in January that I wasn’t going to do that. I was making New Day Resolutions, giving myself 365 chances to get it right instead of one. I think my NDR was to simply be better than the day before or something like that. Probably not, dammit. Now I have to look.

Ok, I had 5 NDRs. Exercise/yoga, meditate, handstand, write/blog, flow. As we sit beyond the halfway point of the year, I probably haven’t been doing well with my NDRs outside of exercise. I think today just happens to be an “on” day for me as I will likely hit all the points today. I guess that the halfway point of the year is a great point to get back on track since I completely forgot about those things. Mind you, even though I forgot about them, or I haven’t been actively thinking about them, it doesn’t mean that they haven’t been happening. The writing takes the biggest hit, followed by flow. Exercise happens 6 out of 7 days because that’s an ingrained habit already. Handstands happen here and there. Man, I gotta get on the fucking ball. Anywho….

Yesterday, I had started another post as well. Monday is the day that the landscapers come, so the video was for Oh So Quiet because OMG why can’t they STFU. Yes, I realize they have a job to do but come on, Mantequilla, I have work to do also. I have this thing about silence and how much I enjoy it. I mean complete silence. At most, nature sounds from birds. I don’t want white noise, the tv, the radio. Just shhhhhhh. For whatever reason, me and focus aren’t friends, so any little thing is shiny and a squirrel for me to look at. I’ve been trying to get better at focus, but that is a really long work in progress.

Back to today, I’m for sure going to hit those NDRs. I might even pull the tracker back out because I’m feeling a little bit encouraged. I love to fill in a block or use coloring pencils or crayons (and I have a ton of them, lol) so yeah, that sounds like a good idea for today. Or maybe even the whiteboard (I have three. I’m mildly odd with office supplies. We have more writing utensils in here than Office Depot.) Come on, excitement train! Keep on rolling!

So yeah, this is my world. Some days it’s mad hectic and some days it’s shut all the fucking way down. That’s just how I roll. That sounds worse than the reality is, but I’ll paint outside my lines and you can paint outside of yours.

While I’d love to stay and chat, I have several things to accomplish including getting myself prepared to teach three pole classes over the next 7 days. One of those is my normal class and two are levels which I don’t usually do – one beginner, one not so beginner. I love planning classes but I hate the stress of planning classes. Fortunately, everyone is laid back and will enjoy whatever we do. Feels like a shit ton of conditioning before we do anything though. HAHAHAHAHA. Yeah buddy. Level three? You oughta be strong by now. You aren’t? You oughta be working out with me, lol.

Well, none of the things I need to do are gonna get done while I’m sitting here writing things that no one is going to read. Have a wonderfully magical day, imaginary readers!

A Trip To the 412

After a 20 year hiatus, I returned to Pennsylvania this past weekend that we made a long weekend. It was strange to be back at first. There is simply so much that has changed, but duh, it’s been 20 years since you’ve been there. With the whole pandemic thing going on, we didn’t end up taking the anniversary vacation we really wanted (an all-inclusive, likely in Mexico) oh, and my passport issue, lol, but we still managed to get out of town and we had a great time.

20210607_114336
Your virtual tour awaits…not really.

See how nice I am? I even gave you pictures that you don’t have to work hard for. I give. What can I say?

I’d been hesitant to return. I had a picture in my mind that I didn’t want to see. The day that we were going to head out to the country, I was antsy as all get out. Basically, I didn’t want to be depressed by the area. Fortunately, it looks pretty good. I mean, I definitely stayed in the areas that I knew wouldn’t suck (so I didn’t go to Monessen, Donora, Smithton, Charleroi LOL) but I did drive past the old house. I was really expecting the nostalgia to hit me once we started down our road but there was nothing. It seems that I have fully moved past everything about being there. That chapter is closed. I didn’t even have a desire to have our land back. The whole book is closed and I might have thrown it in the fireplace. See ya!

Going back to PA made me realize that no, I definitely don’t want to live there, but visits are good. There really is a lot going on over there these days, but I just don’t think it’s enough to make me want to be there 24/7/365. That is NOT to say that I love it where I am. I do not. But it is where we are and it is where we’re staying so I deal with it.

After seeing all the everything over there, it has certainly made me want to see what the fuck is around here besides elderly folks. I think I’ve reached my limit of nothingness. I think that now is the time (after being here for like 2.5 years) to find some local parks for some morning grounding. Hopefully I can avoid fire ants. Ugh. I just. Ugh. I hate it here.

Anywho, it’s just a couple days into the new month and that’s always a good time to keep things poppin. Got my long string ready for lots of wand practice and a little hoop challenge thrown in there too. I’m feeling the flow arts I do believe. I gotta be feeling something, ya heard? Things have a tendency to go downhill fast (like I’m on roller skates….I have those too, lol) if I don’t have some sort of something to place my focus. I wouldn’t say I’m ADHD but I certainly have some focus issues. Case in point, I had this open in two windows and I thought that I lost all of this post. I was super mad and wasn’t going to re-do it. HA! Glad I found it.

Ok, I gotta go. I’m very behind schedule for my day and sitting here trying to pound out more words ain’t helping. Hope you’re humping on hump day.

What A Start

Wow. 2021. We’re off to….a start.

It’s been a long time. Shouldn’t have left you. Left you without a FUCKING PRESIDENT for the last four years. Oops. I got a little excited there. But yeah. America. Dust yourself off and try again.

Ok, ok, the country on fire isn’t what I wanna write about today.

Did you make New Year’s resolutions (NYR)? I did not. Eff that madness. I’m all about New DAY resolutions (NDR). I’m all about knowing how I work. It’s been 47 years so I think I have it mostly worked out. I know that I’ll fail at NYR before the end of January so why would I set myself up for that?!?! Why would you? Why would anyone?

I suppose if I were making NYR, it would look something like lose 10 pounds, have a better handstand, write a book, get better with my flow toys, and be a better person. LOLOLOLOL, right? It’s so general. And so many people try to run their NYR that way and then in January of the next year wonder where they went wrong. I’m trying to break out of that rut with the NDR.

I’ve spent enough time in Corporate America hell to know how to set goals. SMART ya heard. That’s specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, and time-bound if you haven’t heard the spiel. What I listed before as NYR – not SMART. I tried to make my NDRs SMART. I guess really that I have five mini goals to get to my big daily goal of finishing my tasks. Every day, five quests upon which to journey on my way to GoalLand.

  • Exercise or do yoga – 30 min min, 60 min max
  • Meditate – 5 min min
  • Practice handstands – 5 min min, 10 min max
  • Write/blog – however long it takes to expel the word vomit
  • Flow (rotate through the poi, wand, hoop, fan, pole through the week) – 10 min min, no max

Those five things don’t seem like a lot of things and they aren’t. But like I said, I know how I am. I need to build a habit before I add something else to the mix. So I’m not stressing myself if I don’t make it to GoalLand every day. I know I won’t get to a blog post every day. We’re in the middle of a pandemic so I don’t really leave the house much. I love my home life, but there simply isn’t that much that happens that would merit a blog post. Of course I have a book of writing prompts and I thought I might combine the week of prompts or just pick one to do for the week and if I like more than one, I would write more than one post. Nooooo pressure on me. No pressure = I start enjoying writing again. I’m really hoping that happens because as I’ve said before, I have books in my head that need to get out.

The exercise/yoga is the easiest one. I’ve been in that habit for over ten years. I’ve been a fan of the BeachBody programs since the P90X days. They keep me (mostly) focused and typically produce results. The fasted workout is how I start my weekdays. Saturdays get studio time (and also counts for flow for the day). Sundays are for rest. Or golf. Or a hike. But I try to rest a day. I’m 47, remember?

Is the best way to get out of your head by going into your head? I hope so since I’m adding this mediation goal. Hubby’s job offered up a Headspace subscription so duh, of course I’m gonna take advantage of that. And the guy has a great accent so it’s pleasant to listen to him.

Acouplafew years ago, I had a really strong handstand game but for whatever reason, I fell out of my practice. I want those stripes back and the only way to get them is to put in the work. I know you’re looking at those numbers and thinking that 5 to 10 minutes doesn’t equal putting in the work, but I’m here to tell you that you’re wrong. WRONG. When I first started self-teaching this, that’s all I would do. Go out there and give it a shot for 5 to 10 minutes. As I got a little stronger, I started going to workshops to learn more. And although every workshop lasted no less than 60 minutes, we were never on our hands for all of that time. The constraints I had instinctually placed on myself turned out to be the knowledge passed on of not doing hour upon hour of handstand work at a time. Wrists aren’t made for that sort of pressure, so you gotta ease em into it. Like anal.

Ahh the flow toys. I think it started when I won a hoop on Instagram and snowballed pretty fast from there. Then I needed another hoop. Ooh, look a wand…it’s like magic. Oh, hey, where are my old poi? One more hoop won’t hurt. LED lights for the end of my wand?!?! Yes please! Yeah, I need twin hoops for doubles. Hey Christmas! Thanks, hubby! LED poi! So yeah, that’s kinda how it went. Now I have a lot of toys and I’m working to get better at them all. Nope. Never one at a time. All the things, all the time.

Those are the things. Accomplishing them all in one day gets me a ticket to GoalLand. For all intents and purposes, we are through the first week of the year and I have yet to get that golden ticket. I’m ok with that. I feel pretty good about getting four out of five by February. Change takes time, folks. You don’t have time? I bet you have more time now than you would next year when you’re looking back saying you shoulda started then.

Get started.