Friends and Family

Ask, and you shall receive, Maria. 🙂

First, this choreography! I need to go back to the 70s where I could keep up with the dancing. Step, together, step, tap, baby. I got that all. Day. LONG! My CM choreographers know this.

Second, if you aren’t thinking of the Pirates from the 70s when you hear this, well, I guess you just aren’t a Pirates fan, now are you?

Now, on to the meat of things: family.

Some folks might only have, one definition of family, that being those who fall under the category of people related by blood. Nope, nope, nope, nope nope. If you’re a Facebook user, you might be familiar with friends lists. In my world, they’re more like family lists. Let’s take a look at that, shall we? Not literally because you don’t need screenshots of my Facebook. 😛

Alrighty then, let’s start at the beginning. Steph and Jess had the most pimped out wedding ceremony you have never seen back on 8.1.70. They are my everything. Taught me all the good stuff about respect and being a good person. All the sirs and ma’ams to be had. But also pinochle, barbeque sauce, and banana pudding. And food takes us down the yard to Gram and Pops. Man. Totally my second mom and dad but with cookies and ice cream. Gram made the good good. Peach junk and mac and cheese. I can kinda replicate them because I spent so much time watching her make them, but any time I asked for a recipe, it was “a little bit of this and a little bit of that”. Pops got me my car knowledge as he “worked” in a garage and so I learned to change oil and tires which leads me to the first family that wasn’t blood. Let us not forget the little brother whom I clobbered with the ketchup bottle and the daughter who came much later down the road.

The VMH crew. Van Meter Heights, a name we entirely made up in our backwoods, rural one mile stretch of road. It was the kind of area where everyone knew everyone’s business, so there was no sneaking of anything! At least not for me, lol. I had mom and dads and brothers and sisters all up and down the road. They taught me friendship and fights and how to make up from them. These people were more than likely the beginnings of the unemployed comedian I am today.

My next sets of families came from work. The Don Pablo’s family, the Kanagroo’s family, the Houlihan’s family, and the Club Med family. Working in hospitality changes you! Everyone should have to do it at least once. These folks taught me about relationships and what they were and what they weren’t. They taught me what it was to have someone’s back and to know when someone had mine. I learned fantasy football with them, nearly got kicked out of baseball stadiums with them, went to back-to-back-to-back movies with them, did parking lot donuts in the snow with them, checked out WWF (back when it was still WWF) Raw with them, and took over Carlos ‘n Charlies with them on a weekly basis. Of course there were not so great times, but we got through them together and we’re all stronger for it. This isn’t to say that I have no family from non-hospitality jobs because I do. I’m looking at you Rebecca, Pedro, Justin, Holly, and Chris. OMG don’t be mad if I didn’t mention you. I can’t list every single person, Pramod. And Shiva.

A quick shout out to my pole and circus family! Y’all taught me to be my damn self and go ahead and be that self on stage. A couple sentences isn’t really enough, but I can’t be here all night!

And now, now I am growing a real estate family. It’s been fun! I am constantly out shaking hands and kissing babies. Mayor McCheese-ing like there’s no tomorrow. People who are teaching me how to get this job done; taking me under their collective wing and providing me with guidance and encouragement. I can already almost build a castle with business cards! (I’m not, but I COULD.)

Of course, I couldn’t end this without speaking of my not blood but close as you can be family. The hubster and his (now my) family. They’ve never been anything less than spectacular to me. Hubby puts up with more of my crapola than anyone in the world probably could without kicking me out. He has taught me, with no offense to one or two other people, what true love is, in giving and receiving.

So there you have it. Sometimes hard to follow but sometimes stream of consciousness is how I write. Don’t worry, you’ll get used to it as you get to know me. 😀 Come back tomorrow or the next day for some more confusion. It’ll be fun, I promise, fam!

The End.

Whew! It’s over. Colorado Pole Championship 2014 has come and gone. The most prevalent question is always, “Did you win?”  The answer: no, in a trophy or medal way, I didn’t. But in so many other ways, yes, yes I did.
To my fellow Masters Division competitors, THANK YOU! You ladies made this experience so much less stressful and so much more enjoyable with your compassion, love, and understanding. Even though medals and trophies separate us, we still stood together (or leaned on our wheeled walkers together) in support for one another. I can be almost 100% certain that this is not how all competitions go, so I am oh so thankful to have had this experience with you. Mel, Lisa, Kris, Tammy…you’ll be in my heart forever. I’m so proud of each and every one of you for getting up there and putting your hearts and souls on display.
To Leesi and Sasha, for without you, I would be trying to pole on thin air, thank you for your generosity in allowing me to utilize your equipment and facilities to work out this performance. You are certainly my enablers in the best possible kind of way.
To Nina, for without you, there wouldn’t have even been this opportunity to perform. Thanks for holding it down for Colorado and giving competitors and those who wish to compete one day a place to do just that.
To Team Imperial Flyers, YOU GUYS!!! Thank you for coming out to the show! I loved seeing you there and I hope you had a blast. Nicky, Kristen, Violeta, and Alex, from the rig to the stage – HEP!
To the ladies of Boulder Spirals, much love. You guys are so supportive and you always have a smile and a hug for me no matter how long it’s been since I’ve seen you, poled with you, or even chatted with you. It’s with you ladies that I cut my pole teeth and for that, and for your love, I’ll be forever grateful. Jaslee, Leslie, Daisy, Linda, Chrissy, everyone. Thank you. <3 To my L’Ru Crew, well, I’m not sure what to say outside of FUCK YEAH! For having my back. For yelling till you’re hoarse. For laughing with me in the studio when I’m complaining about a move ripping off ass meat. For still loving me if I catch up to you in PDP on Monday nights. For accepting me for who I am, baked goods and all, lol. Joy, Alexis, Amber, Chelsie, Meg, (I know I am missing ladies and I am SORRY!!) but MAD LOVE to you guys! To ALL of the competitors, you all rocked! Thank you for sharing your vision and your talent. Thank you for your comraderie back stage. Ariel and Dave, Lauren, Nadia for being extra nice to someone you didn’t know. Meri and Sara, for just being you. 😀 To every single person that put two hands together or opened their mouth to cheer, thank you. There were some folks that knew me but I didn’t recognize in the excitement of the moment. For that, I apologize, but know that I am grateful. To the complete strangers who really got it, who got the energy, who felt pulled into the fun, this one was for you. Thank you for making me a winner! To my makeup guru, Holly (and her mom Tracy), a million thanks for helping me create the look I was going for. Great big expressive eyes to help tell my story. I do a lot of talking with my eyes and you certainly helped me to tell my story! Last, and certainly not least, I’d like to thank my family. Thanks to my brother, Jesse. Thanks to April for coming out. A tremendous thank you to my mom for FLYING OUT to see all of these shenanigans. And thanks to my hubby, Jorge, for putting up with all of the time away from the house, the grumpiness, the aches and pains, and everything in general that comes with competition training. I really couldn’t have done it without your support. So, in the end, did I walk away with a trophy? Nope. But, did I walk away with a sense of accomplishment, a sense of satisfaction, a feeling that I shared my energy? Yes, I did. Did people tell me they were encouraged to try pole based on my performance? Yes. Did a husband ask me to try to coerce his wife into competing? Yes. While I may not have touched the judges, I moved the crowd, and to me, that is far more important. Thanks, CPC, it was a wild ride. image


Saturday (Oooh Oooh!)

With a proper shout out to Double S!  Let's go back to the zoo!

And of course, I couldn't use that title without the appropriate props to Mr. Bridges with his fine ass self.

If this weekend had only had one day, Saturday really would have been the one that was enough to fill up the whole weekend for me. 🙂

Sit back and enjoy the recap.

  • We got up a little on the late side and skipped our usual weekend breakfast of Sergio's because we had some coupons for Burger King.  Yeah, they're on my shit list now too.  First, don't put the lady that doesn't speak English on drive thru, please.  Whatever if you haven't learned English yet.  Good on ya for getting a job, but not one where I need to order food and I prefer to do it in ENGLISH!  Second, please give me the food that I ordered.  If I ask for two orders of cheesey tots, I want two orders.  And three coffees.  Yes, I paid for three, here's my receipt.  Grrrr.  Oh, and if it isn't too much trouble, how about you put the lids on the coffee cups so that a medium coffee doesn't decide to empty itself on the floor of the passenger side of my car.  Thanks!  (Thank goodness for Scotchgard or whatever the heck is on both my mats and carpet because that coffee came out like it never even happened!  Woot!)
  • It gets better and not in a sarcastic way. 
  • Lovey and I scored some tickets to go see UM (Hurricanes) play BC (Eagles) at the Bank United Center.  It's probably 15 minutes by car but it was super nice out so we decided to ride our bikes over.  It took about 35 minutes to get there but then we didn't have to deal with traffic or pay for parking so double bonus.  Triple bonus was that our seats were right behind the players' "bench" (it was a bunch of folding chairs).  I'm not a huge basketball fan, but it was a great game.  UM won.  And I got a kiss, or that's what I thought it was when his beak engulfed my head, from Sebastian because as everyone was mobbing the poor guy for photos, I saw his Gatorade cup was empty and offered to get him another.  Being a mascot is tough.  Been there, done that.
  • We had a leisurely bike ride back to the house.  Now my bum is sore from my bike seat.  The horror!
  • This may get confusing in a moment….
  • Lovey's BFF, JP, is starting a business with some people that he works with/used to work with.  I don't know both of the guys, but I did meet JM previously as he is also a Steelers fan and is from the Pittsburgh area.  I am going to do a little website stuff for JP's business (Lord grant me the strength!).  In the meantime, JM knows of someone back home that has a website but wants something better.  JM and JP mention that they know someone that might be able to help them out (yours truly) and to give them the link to their site and some others that they like.  No problem. 
  • JP stopped by on Saturday to discuss the look and feel for their site and at that time, forwarded me the email with the other place's info.  My jaw fell.  I opened the link to be sure and sure enough, I know the people from back home that need the website.  I've bought car parts from them.  BruddaShyner used to WORK there!  So of course, I have to text BruddaShyner to ask him if he knows JM.  He texts me back saying that he does and JM is in Miami now.  HA!  BruddaShyner not only knows JM, but he also knows JM's dad.  Funny how I have to move a thousand miles away to do a website for people who were five miles away from the house where I grew up.
  • The world is soooooo small.

I have just under 5 tons of work to do now.  I'm not overwhelmed but I really do have to get organized.  And motivated.

Feel free to kick me in the ass if you see me dilly-dallying.

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At Brunswick 51

I basically grew up in the bowling alley.  My parents bowled in leagues and when I was old enough, I bowled with them.  I think I knew how to keep score (back when it was still done with PENCILS) before I was about seven.  At any rate, here are a few memories from the lanes:

  • My folks had a friend that happened to have crossed eyes.  Somehow, my mom didn't know this fact.  Enter embarassing moment when my mom said, "Look at me when I'm talking to you!!"
  • Ah, another mom story.  She was twirling around because she had a cute skirt on.  Twirl, twirl, twirl, twirl, thud.  Oops.  Sorry poor guy walking by that took one to the nuts because mom wasn't looking.
  • Can't leave out dad.  He had false teeth and thought it was funny to scare kids by popping them halfway out.  Yep, all good till he lost hold of them and they fell out on the floor.
  • Once I was spinning around the hand rail/pole thing and cracked my head on the bench.  You know those fiberglass monsters?  Ouch.
  • I loved (and still do) pinball.  When I walked up to a machine that had over 20 free games on them with no one around, I thought I found heaven.  Yep, until the biker dudes came back and found that I played all their games.  Scary moment.
  • Remember the game Joust?  First played at the bowling alley.
  • I learned how to carry a steaming hot cup of coffee the length of the lanes without spilling it.  And I learned that the best way to have coffee is light and sweet.
  • The manager's wife was my gym teacher.  The manager kinda looked like a skunk.
  • I was a pirate at the Halloween party at the alley but I had twisted my ankle a couple days prior.
  • I had a Snoopy ball and bag and hot pink and white bowling shoes that looked like high top sneakers.
  • When we turned 21, we went there to shoot pool and drink beer.  And play the jukebox.  I swear I have all my teeth.

There you go.  Memories from Brunswick 51 Lanes and Lounge. 

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6/30 – Nervous trainwreck

Typically, when something is bothering me or weighing heavily on my mind, I tend to share it with you and it usually helps so I'm going to try it again now.

I've had this surgery scheduled for over a month now and I've been fine with it.  Until a couple of hours ago.  I'm not saying that I'm going to back out, or that I'm scared, per se, but nervous is really starting to creep up on me.  Seriously.  To the point of clock watching and saying "Is it 10pm yet so I can take an Ambien and go to sleep?!?!"

My heart's beating a little faster than usual today and my tummy is a little grumblier than usual too.

….OMG SERIOUSLY…if this lady doesn't stop cutting her nails at work, I'm going to have to donkey punch her!…..

All of the people at the facility are super nice, as is the doctor.  He's been at this a while, so it isn't as though I think he doesn't know what he's doing.  He's got good stats and I know someone that's visited him.

It isn't as though I think I'm going to die on the table.  Because that's irrational.  I'm healthy and too stubborn to die..yet.  Okay, maybe it did cross my mind.  Along with the thought of getting cut open and steam hissing out or an alien jumping out too, so we don't really give that one much thought.

I've got more support than a (insert your own analogy here…I couldn't think of something that wouldn't offend somebody).  MommaShyner, BruddaShyner, Lovey, Kiddo, Roboco, they're all behind me.

I should have asked for a Valium, but I probably wouldn't have made it to work today.

I'm still waiting for them to call to confirm my arrival time.  And like Tom Petty said, "The waiting is the haaaardeeeeeeeeest paaaart."

I'm starting to feel a little better.

Maybe it's because this is my first surgery, sorta.  I don't count having my wisdom teeth out although they did knock me out for that.  I've never been sliced.

Wisdom of BruddaShyner regarding possible pain: Hey, you pooped out a kid, it can't be worse than that.

Yep, he said POOPED out a kid.  Gotta love that guy.

HAHA, I have homework to do also.  Fortunately, I've done well throughout the rest of the class and I don't have to put forth a full effort to get an A and I can really provide a half-assed effort and still get a B.  I could not participate at all and still get a C.  Not that I would do that because that's just wrong.  Even though one of the classes is Computers for Those Without Opposable Thumbs.  Honestly, it's painfully silly.  Forcing me to turn in a project that must be created in WordPad…you do the math.

Oh, feeling a little better still.

I got to do some shopping, and that's always cool.  Did I mention it?  I don't recall.  One suit, one skirt, three or four blouses…$108.  Hell yes bargain shopper.

Really, I just want to fast forward to being healed up enough to get back to my circus workouts.

Would you like a Starburst?  BINGO!  Two strawberry ones!!

I am excited to take a day off of work.  Maybe even two.  I haven't decided if I will come in on Monday yet.  Not supposed to drive whilst taking Percocet or Flexoril, lol.



So, this is an old photo where I have yet again accomplished the puppy dog head tilt. Maybe I will wear this outfit to Cirque in one month (!) so I'll have a before and after photo.  My hair is already quite a bit longer now.  Like if I do the tilt, it still reaches my shoulders on both sides.  Me and photos don't always get along.  Or maybe it's just my perception.  I do always look, uh, well, greasy.  Stupid skin.  Dry until the second I put on any makeup.  Doesn't even matter what kind it is!  I've tried 'em all.  Oh well, at least I have nice teeth. 😀

Hey hey, look, another storm is brewing down there by Honduras.  It's not supposed to make a US landfall though.  Keeping those fingers crossed.  I guess you really can't call hurricane season until the 30th.  I will not miss hurricanes when we move.

Okay, I've rambled enough now, and if you're still reading this, you either really like me or you're bored to tears.  Either way, thanks for hanging around and listening/reading me blabber on about nothing.

I may have one more of these today, but if not, see you on the other side of anesthesia!

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