Sailing, Slipping, and Steelers

Last we met our hero, she was braving the Florida humidity and dining in God’s waiting room. Now, she rides upon the largest cruise ship in the world, braving 8-13 foot swells and 40-50 knot winds. Being of superhero lineage, her stomach is bothered not by the rocking of the ship, although she is prone to the swaying back and forth like a drunk when the ship, she doeth rock.

Strong in so many manners, our hero does have her kryptonite. For her, the only thing to take her down is a set of wet stairs and a wave hitting the ship. In naught but the most graceful manner possible, she releases her footing and places her spine ever so gently at a 90 degree angle with the edge of the stair while she selects another stair edge, lower by 3, to use the edge to massage her left glute.  Well, she thinks, while I’m down here I might as well just slide down to the bottom!  Huzzah! But, in true fashion, she is up quick as a bunny. A bunny with a wet cottontail. Fortunately, it’s been too windy and rainy for our hero to publicly don any bikini tops and show off her thin, red line of a bruise from the Battle of Wet Stair.

Ok, ok, enough. It takes too much thinking to write that badly. And I am on vacation, after all. So yeah, I fell down some stairs. It sucked. I’m alive and surprisingly not in any pain as long as I don’t touch the bruised spot. Whatevs. To do some of the things that I do (fabric, trapeze, pole, snowboarding), I am seriously clumsy.

This ship is huge. It’s ridiculous. I don’t really feel like we’ll get to really enjoy it for another couple days when the weather will clear up. I’ll report back then. Pretty crazy how easy it is to blow money here. Or for my mom, how easy it is to win some. First day of bingo, she wins $400. Unreal. I, on the other hand, have not won at bingo in probably 10 years, possibly more. Penny slots are more my style.

Ohh, so our first stop was supposed to be Nassau, but because of the high winds and rough seas, they closed the port. We weren’t planning on getting off there, but it was certainly confusing to not be anywhere near where you’re supposed to be when you wake up in the morning. Sounds like it was a great party night.

There are Steelers fans and Pittsburgh folk on the ship. I wore a Steelers shirt today and was saluted with a yell of “Steelers!” several times with one guy following it up with “Super Bowl!”. I said let’s not rush anything. There was a family from the South Hills that stopped me to chat while we were getting ice cream. There were lots of Manning jerseys on Sunday too. And lots of sad faces on Monday.

It’s formal night. I have to go get cleaned up. I will probably take some pictures at some point.


Estimados Miami,

No pueden caminar en frente de mi carro cuando yo tengo la luz verde y si se hacen, yo te voy romper sus piernas.

Now, for those of you not from Miami or those of you who, like me, aren't bilingual (okay, I'm pretty good when I'm drunk) that says:

Dear Miami,

You can't walk in front of my car when I have the green light and if you do, I will break your legs (with my car).


The angry girl in the green car.

Seriously.  I need that big black cop-rammer that the police have on the front of their car.  It would keep hair and blood out of the grill of my car.  Just last week I was driving through downtown, fortunately slower than usual because I was a little lost, and before I knew it, someone was standing in front of my car.  She was on the phone, walked out from between two parked cars, NEVER LOOKED, and walked out in front of my moving car.  Lucky for her I was in a good mood and I stopped.  Don't be fooled.  Even with my windows up, I screamed at her as she stood in front of my car looking at me like I was driving on the sidewalk.  Oh, and she heard me.  I'm loud.  Many years ago, I used to be a cheerleader.  Her cheer went a little something like this:

(head nod to start the cheer) HEY! (clap, clap, nod) Hey you! (clap, clap)  ARE YOU FUCKING RETARDED?!?!?!  (clap, clap, flip her off) (clap, nod)

Yeah, so anyways, downtown's pretty cool.  Why just yesterday I saw a homeless gentleman standing near a FedEx truck.  He was chatting away and I thought that he was talking to the driver.  Nope.  As I got closer, I noticed that he was talking TO the FedEx truck.  He held one finger in the air while he talked.  He then proceeded to cross himself.  Is FedEx sponsoring a new religion?  Deliverotology?  Do they preach from the Gospel of Two Tries and then you have to come to The Warehouse?  You should visit Miami.  Really.  Make sure you go DWNTWN

In other news, I think I pulled a muscle in my leg this morning.  No one to blame but myself on this one.  You see, I'm the first one up in the household and I try to be quiet and not turn on too many lights upstairs where everyone else is sleeping.  Usually, I do a good job.  Today, not so much.  I was coming up the stairs in the dark and I somehow miscalculated the number of steps.  It could have been worse, I could have thought that I was at the top when there was one more step.  That would have woken Lovey up for sure.  Kiddo could sleep through the Texas Chainsaw Massacre ocurring in her room.  But no, I thought there was one more step when there wasn't.  If you've done this, you understand and know how funny it is a few hours later.  I'm sure that if there was a hidden camera in the house, I would've looked hilarious.  I managed to stay on my feet though.  Yay me!

I'm really not much one for the current state of hip-hop.  Once in a while, something will come along that I actually enjoy hearing.  Make Me Better by Fabolous f/Ne-Yo is one of those songs.  The beat is somewhat catchy and the verses are okay and sometimes amusing, but it's really the chorus that makes me like it.  There's so much negativity these days in the hip-hop that it's refreshing to hear someone say/sing:

Make Me Better

I'm a movement by myself

But I'm a force when we're together

Mami I'm good all by myself

But baby you, you make me better.


It's over there ————>

Listen if you like.


I suppose it's time to get this day underway.  I added more to my plate without finishing my broccoli, but that's just the way I roll.  My FFO is listo on the board.  HEP!


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