April 2019

Mr. Baaaaaartender

Hey, look! Made it to day 2. Two in a row! Two in a row!

Today’s prompt is “your earliest memory” and that’s actually a bit difficult since as a child, can you really differentiate what’s earlier than something else? Or can you differentiate those memories as an adult?

Fortunately, as an adult with one live adult parent and one who has passed, I can openly speak about these memories and you can go somewhere else with your judgement. There are two things that stick out for me as my earliest memories.

In case you didn’t know, I’m a child of the early ’70s. Obviously not the free love period of time, but shit was loose back then, or so I’ve heard. I have had stories told to me about the time I ate a Black Beauty that had fallen down into the couch when I was around 3, but I don’t remember that. There was a time that I packed up my couple of stuffed animals in a grocery bag and told my mom I was running away (all the way to my grandmother’s house about 30 yards away – 90 feet, not 30 people’s yards) and as I walked out the door I looked at her and told her to be good. There was that time at Easter when one of my dad’s friends got me a chocolate Easter bunny that was as big as me – there’s photo proof of that one. But the two things that I have memories of would get my parents tossed in jail these days and me and my brother in foster care. Mind you, it was the early ’70s and my brother and I both turned out fine and again, go judge your mama.

Memory 1: Do you know what hash is? I’m not talking about the stuff with potatoes and meat in it. I’m talking about concentrated marijuana. The good shit (back then). I can distinctly remember the hash smoking process. Materials include one glass, one piece of cardboard, and one pin. The pin goes through the cardboard and the hash goes on the end of the pin. Fire that sucker up and put the glass over it and let the smoke collect in the glass and then suck it out. Yep, that’s what I remember. I can actually see it in my mind right now, but not because I’ve ever done it. I’m no angel, but smoking has come a long way since then.

Memory 2: This one goes along with the video. Back in the day, we had a beermeister. Keggerator. Whatever you want to call it. A keg in our house. Probably not a full keg, probably more like a quarter. But that bad boy was tapped and had a handle just like many bars. When dad had friends over, I was the runner. Of course I was taking a little off the top for myself until I worked out the perfect angle to pour those beers with a perfect head. Yeah, it’s really no wonder that I feel quite at home behind a bar. I’ve been slanging dranks since I was under 5.

Yup, those are my earliest memories. I had a raucous childhood that I wouldn’t trade for anything. I mean, country living was country living. We ran around naked in the rain and under the drainage spout. I ran through the yard and took a corner too fast and slid in some dog shit, lol. We barbequed. We lived. We laughed. We loved. And I came out on the other side this badass motherfucker that I am. Win.

See you tomorrow.

Happy April!

Yes, another month. No, I haven’t updated my blog in forever. Yes, I’m gonna try to blog every day this month. No, I won’t beat myself up if I don’t get all the days. It’s like a tennis match in here!

A couple of us are going to run through this challenge where we have a prompt for each day. Let’s put that in here too:

There. Now you can see what to expect out of me for the next 30 days, assuming I can get through all the days.

Look, I don’t know that there are five problems with social media. There might be way more. Way, way more. Like 45 more. But I digress. Let’s start with motherfucking filters. Have I used them on Instagram? Yes, of course. Mainly because I’m a terrible photographer and I wanna get you to see the yoga pose I’m struggling so hard to get into. But some of us are way too into it. I might not even recognize some people in person because of these things!

Next up on things that grind my gears, dammit, social media is a necessary evil for work. Not just for folks in my profession, but in many others as well. We use it to connect, to find jobs, to find employees. We’ve become so dependent upon it that I do wonder what happened if the big three (FB, IG, LI) were to suddenly disappear. Would we even survive? *that’s sarcasm*

Social media has also created a crew of keyboard warriors. You know, that group of people that have huge balls of steel when they hide behind their computers. They may be contributing to parts of our current downfall, but, hey, what do I know, right?

Along those same lines, the misinformation that gets spread across social media makes me shake my head. Like a wet dog. I’m not sure why we tend to believe things that we see on the internet without actually researching them, but here we are.

Right, so I don’t wanna be a negative Nelly this whole time, so I’m gonna end this on a positive note. Also, because I am rambling like a moron and it’s been so long since I’ve written anything that my form is crap. The one thing I love about social media is that it helps me to stay connected with all of the folks I’ve met throughout the years and across the miles. I love to see what friends are up to and watch their families grow. It’s great for planning reunions so that we can see each other in person again and make fun of each other like we just saw each other yesterday.

The video says 1 thing, I gave you five. I’m calling this a win. And I’m promising that by the end of the month, I’ll give you a coherent blog post that is less stream of consciousness and more actual thought out stuff. Promise. Kisses! See you tomorrow.